Discovery
Part 2: LOVERS
She deserved Max’s anger. She deserved to be hated, because kissing Max had made her realize one thing. They really were “just sisters”. For a long time she had thought they were meant to be more, but kissing her had been like kissing a sister, it really wasn’t there, it was just lips. So now, here she sat, on the floor of Max’s apartment, waiting, wanting to say sorry and having no one to say sorry to.
She heard the keys jingle as someone entered the apartment. She looked up hoping it was Max. But it wasn’t Max.
“Where’s Max?” Cindy asked.
“I don’t know,” the girl said.
“You made a move on her didn’t you?”
Jondy didn’t answer.
**************************
Max had gone to Logan’s. She didn’t know where else to go. She had stormed through the door, without a hello, and started talking. Logan hadn’t really heard a word she said, just scattered occurrences of the name Jondy. And not in the jovial way she’d been speaking of her sister for the last couple weeks.
Finally she said, “Just who in the hell does she think she is?”
“Max,” Logan said. “I haven’t heard a word you said. And not for lack of trying.”
“Jondy kissed me.” Max stated plainly. Logan didn’t seem to be taken aback or surprised in any way. “Well aren’t you shocked?”
“Actually, no,” Logan replied. “I had a talk with Original Cindy and she saw it coming.”
“Well, why didn’t she say something to me?” Max asked a little perplexed.
“For the last month you’ve been living in your own world. A world where only Max and Jondy live. If she had told you, you would have shot the messenger directly in the foot.”
Max sighed and sunk onto Logan’s couch.
“I don’t know. She’s my sister, I never thought. I mean it was hard enough dealing with my brother—” Max sighed. “Why can’t things ever be right with my family?”
“I can’t say that your problem is a common one,” Logan replied. “But few families are perfect. Even the ones with blood ties and a lot of money, as you’ve seen. As far as I can tell, your family has more loyalty to each other than mine does.”
Max smiled, despite herself, remembering the Cale Family wedding. A wedding where she stole Logan’s rightful property back for him. But this was different. Max could deal with some unwanted attention by any random male or female, but this was Jondy, someone she trusted. If she had told Max she was gay upfront, everything would have been cool. Though she would have been surprised, it would have been no big deal. Jondy was still her sister or at least she was before this. What was Jondy thinking?
******************************************
Jondy had never had a one-on-one conversation with Cindy, they’d hardly ever said two words to each other without Max around. She had noticed Cindy from the first, this beautiful, confident, vibrant female. She was so comfortable with who she was that it intimidated Jondy. Being a lesbian was one truth of her life she wasn’t ever comfortable with dealing with, therefore it was easier not to deal with Cindy one-on-one. Which made it weird, at least in her head, that she was sitting here with Cindy, sipping on coffee, confessing her sins.
“I know how she feels,” Jondy said. “Betrayed.”
“I really thought if any sista had half a chance of tastin’ the suga, it would be you.”
“Really,” Jondy said surprised.
“Well, you a hot chick and Max was chill with you. Sometimes that’s all it takes for a straight chick to experiment.”
“If that’s all it takes, I would have thought she would have experimented with you by now,” Jondy replied with little thought to what she was saying. And when she realized the words that had fallen from her lips, her eyes immediately feel to the floor. “I mean I could say the same about you.” Jondy paused. “When did you know?” Jondy asked partially to change the conversation and partially out of curiosity.
“Know what?”
“That you played for the other team,” Jondy replied shyly.
Original Cindy was surprised to see Jondy approach this subject so cautiously. Now that Max had told her the truth about her past, she’d heard a million horror stories about their childhood, found out the entire truth about the Sam/Zack situation, and discovered how thick a skin most of Max’s little X5 crew had to have. So knowing what she knew, it was odd seeing this genetically revved up soldier almost shy about giving another woman a compliment and cautiously approaching a question about that woman‘s sexuality.
“I guess I was about twelve or thirteen. Original Cindy wasn’t always the confident black woman you see before you. There was this girl, about fifteen. Original Cindy was so sweet on her. Couldn’t tell my home girls, because they were into the three legged gender, but my eyes couldn’t stay off my girl’s ass.”
“Did you um. . . .get with her?” Jondy asked.
“No, her brother found out through my former homegirl Frankie, who got a supreme ass whippin‘ later on. Anyway, her brother cornered me in a hallway and told me if I ever came near his sister, he’d straitin’ me out.”
“Damn,” Jondy replied.
“Don’t worry. Original Cindy ain’t no slouch. I kicked his ass, too.” Cindy laughed. “Well maybe ass ain’t the right word, I injured a more sensitive area.” Cindy turned toward Jondy. “What about you?”
“I’ve known for awhile. I guess I was about fourteen when I started questioning myself. I has a crush on a few ladies, never got the nerve to say a word. I thought maybe I was bisexual, because I had a couple one night stands, the whole going into heat thing. But it was always ladies that caught my eye. The thing is, it‘s hard enough being a Manticore kid on the run. But being a lesbian was a complication I didn‘t want to deal with, so I tried to ignore it.”
“Wait, are you saying you’ve never been with a female?”
“Yeah.”
“Never?”
“This was the first time I ever kissed a girl,” Jondy confessed. “But it’s not right between us, not in that way. I knew it kind of, but I hoped . . . She was my best friend up until the escape and I‘ve never had a friend as good since. I thought maybe it would make things easier.”
“Damn,“ Cindy replied. “I just can’t believe a hot chick like you has been going without.”
Jondy smiled. “I’m use to guys saying these things. But not—”
“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Cindy asked.
“No,” Jondy replied quickly. “I’m flattered actually. Because your so beautiful yourself.”
Jondy reached out and touched Cindy’s leg. Original Cindy’s eyes dropped where Jondy’s hand lay.
“I‘m glad your discovering yourself, but Original Cindy ain’t gonna betray her homegirl. Max has had my back to many times.”
“It its not about her,” Jondy said. “You know what I thought the first time I saw you. ‘Who’s that hot lady that’s with Max.’ I thought you two were involved actually. The point is, I wanted you before this whole incident with Max. I just—I was just—afraid of you.”
Cindy didn’t seem convinced and Jondy had made her first step, she wasn’t going to stop now. She moved forward and kissed Cindy softly on the lips. It was so tender, so gentle, Cindy responded without thinking about it. It wasn’t awkward, like the kiss with Max. Their tongues teased each other and tasted each other. And Jondy went weak with the new sensation. It felt like this truly was her first kiss, because before now it just hadn’t been right.
“Damn girl,” Cindy said. “You sure you ain‘t done this before.”
Jondy smiled and the two women kissed again. This time there was no holding back. Cindy wanted to touch her, Jondy wanted to hold her and Jondy had never felt free to feel this way before.
****************************
The apartment was silent as Max entered, too quiet. From the moment she crossed the threshold, the place felt off, different. Then she saw the brown turtleneck that Jondy had been wearing laying discarded on the floor beside Cindy’s top. Both shirts were inside out.
“Hell no,” Max said to herself.
She already knew in her head what had happened. But curiosity drove her to confirm it. She crept to the bedroom that had once belong to Kendra. That room already had one bad memory, Kendra and Walter. Why she was seeking out a second, she didn’t know. She peaked through the door and saw Jondy laying on top of Cindy, not asleep, but facing away from the doorway toward Cindy, her hand resting across Cindy naked body. She saw Cindy stir and Jondy lift up and kiss her on the lips. Then Jondy began kissing down the other woman’s body. Max didn’t need to see anymore. She faded out of sight and went to her room.
********************************
The next morning, Max came into the kitchen and found Jondy and Cindy smiling and speaking to each other the way lovers do. And for some reason, the scene before her made her sick and even more angry than she had been when she first came home. They weren’t completely indecent, both girls were covered up, sort of. They had on robes, robes that were half open. When they saw Max enter the kitchen, they closed there robes best they could. Max slammed a cup on the table and filled it with coffee, eyeing her sister viciously.
“Hey Max, when did you get in.” Jondy asked.
“Don’t talk to me,” she snapped at her sister.
“I just want to say–” Jondy said again.
“Don’t talk to me,” Max said with even more force than she did the first time. She slammed her cup on the counter again, breaking it this time. Then she grabbed her bike and left the apartment.
**************************
Max felt like yesterday and today existed on two completely different worlds. Yesterday Max had been full of energy, alive in a way she hadn‘t been in years, today she wished she could sleep, could just curl up in a bed and sleep all day, sleep the anger and frustration off. But instead of that, there was only the mindless robotic movements throughout the day. A day in which Original Cindy repeatedly tried to get Max to talk about Jondy, but she didn’t want to hear it. She wasn’t angry at Cindy and told her that a thousand times, but she didn’t want to talk to or talk about Jondy.
“Are you sure your cool with me and your sister kickin’ it,” Cindy asked for the thousandth time.
“It’s fine,” Max shrugged. “I just don’t want to be around her.”
“Boo, it was just a kiss. She didn’t–”
“I don’t want to talk about Jondy. You two do whatever you want.”
“Hot run to Raven street,” Normal said tossing a package to Cindy.
Cindy gave up for the moment and went to deliver her package. No sooner than she was gone, Jondy strolled through the door.
“Sister, that way,” Normal said, barely looking up from whatever he was reading.
“She doesn’t want to talk to me right now,” Jondy said. “Is Original Cindy around?”
“I’m not the Jam Pony receptionist, I‘m C.O. around here if you haven‘t noticed.”
“Don’t be an ass,” Jondy told him.
“That’s impossible for him,” Sketchy said draping an arm around Jondy.
“Back off Sketch, I‘m not in the mood,” Jondy said pushing his arm off her shoulder.
“Sorry Sketch,” Max said. “Your battle with this one is already lost.”
“Max,” Jondy said turning toward her. “Are you talking to me now?”
“No, I’m talking to Sketchy,” Max said. “I don’t know you.”
“Max will you let me apologize?” Jondy asked.
“Apologize for what? You got what you were after last night,” Max snapped.
“You make it sound dirty,” Jondy replied.
Neither had noticed all of Jam Pony was drawn to the argument, watching it like a spectator sport.
“Yeah, well maybe I do think it’s dirty that your using my best friend.”
“I’m not using her. I really like her,” Jondy shot back.
“Then explain what happened.”
“I made a mistake,” Jondy said.
“Yeah, so did I,” Max said storming out of the door.
Jondy tried to hold in the tears, Manticore soldiers didn’t cry. She wanted to be angry at Max, but she wasn’t angry. She didn‘t know how to explain what she felt, all twisted up inside and confused. The same way, she assumed, Max felt.
Cindy rolled back into Jam Pony at that moment, telling Normal the address on the package was wrong. Just as she was handing the package over, she saw Jondy crying. Cindy dropped the package and went to Jondy.
“Hey, little lady,” Normal said lifting the package off the counter, but he went ignored.
“Dammit,” Jondy said when Cindy came over. “I tried to apologize.”
Cindy embraced Jondy and gave her a much needed comforting kiss on the lips. “Max’ll be aiight, she just needs time to cool that hot head of hers. You know what, meet me at Crash tonight. I‘ll make sure Max is there.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“I‘ll make sure she listens.”
****************************
Max was glad to be back at Crash, waiting for Cindy to arrive. It had been awhile since she’d been to her familiar stomping ground and she needed some familiarity right now. But somehow, she wasn’t comfortable. Then Sketchy came over and dropped down beside her . She knew in the mood she was in, she was liable to snap his neck.
“Hey Max, inquiring minds want to know. When did your sister hook up with Original Cindy?”
“Inquiring minds need to mind their own damn business,” Max snapped.
“But after what happened at work today.”
“Sketchy, I’m not in the mood for–”
Max stopped. Original Cindy had arrived and walking hand in hand with her was Jondy. Max grabbed her jacket, which was sitting on the back of the chair, and headed for the door. Cindy reached out and grabbed her arm as she passed them.
“Max,” Cindy said.
“I don’t want to talk to her,” Max shot back.
“Then talk to me,” her friend replied.
“Fine,” Max conceded through gritted teeth.
Max and Cindy walked out the door. Max didn’t really want to talk to Cindy either. After one night the two of them were already acting like a couple who had met months ago. But she really didn’t have a good reason to hate Cindy and she didn’t, Cindy was her girl, Cindy hadn’t betrayed her.
“Original Cindy doesn’t pretend to understand what’s between you and your X5 crew. But I know you can’t be trippin’ just because your sister’s a lesbian.”
“I don’t care if she’s a lesbian,” Max shouted. “But she could of told me. I wanted my sister, not a girlfriend. Obviously, she didn’t.”
“It was one kiss.”
“It was more than that,” Max replied. “Jondy was like another part of me. I thought someone finally understood me.” Max sighed. “And what do I find out? I have another X5 sibling who wants to screw me, literally. Am I the only one who just wants family?”
“Jondy wants her sister too.”
“Then why did she kiss me?”
“The game ain’t that simple Max. You should know that,” Cindy said. “Ever since you’ve known me, I’ve been comfortable wit’ bein’ me. Jondy wasn’t there yet.” Cindy sighed. “But lets be straight with each other Boo. For the last month, I haven‘t even existed to you. Everyday you‘ve been kickin‘ it with Jondy and I resented you for it. If I can forgive that, surely you can forgive a kiss.”
“Why should I?”
“Simple Boo, because you got love for your sister and she got love for you.”
She couldn’t dispute that simple truth, she did love Jondy, just like she loved Zack — but it didn‘t mean she had to like her. Perhaps though she had made the same mistake with her sister that she had made with her brother and her brother had made with her. She wanted Jondy to be the Jondy she created in her head and up till this point she had been, without fault. She’d always thought Jondy would be just like her, so maybe the issue was not that she kissed her. Maybe, like many people, she just couldn’t deal with the fact that “her sister”, who she expected to be just like her, was a lesbian. Maybe she did have that prejudice in her mind when it came to her sister and if so she was the one at fault here.
“Is it safe,” Jondy asked stepping into view.
Jondy walked up to her sister. Max looked her directly in the eye, conveying no emotion either way.
“Want to race?” Max asked.
Jondy smiled back. “Yeah, that would be good.”
“I’ll see you later?” Cindy asked Jondy.
“You better,” Jondy replied.
The two women kissed, naturally, as if they’d been at it for months. It didn’t turn Max’s stomach, but it was weird, because it was “Jondy” with Cindy and that was the last thing she would have imagined ever would have happened.
They didn’t speak as they rode through the night streets. But this time more from confusion than understanding. They had walked away from Crash, grabbed their motorcycles, revved it up and raced. Somehow this night ride was different from the first night she‘d raced Jondy. There wasn’t the joy and elation of discovery that she’d experienced that first night, just this vain attempt to recapture it. They didn’t know where they were going, but they both knew where they weren’t going, the Space Needle — they weren’t ready yet.
*************************
“Jondy and Original Cindy?” Logan asked as Max sat on his couch the next night talking about her sister.
Logan was glad, after a month, to have his Max back. But she wasn’t quite back. Whatever high Jondy had caused was gone, but so was a bit of her usual vibrance. He couldn’t tell if she was pleased about this new development or depressed by it.
“Surprised?” Max asked.
“Yeah,” Logan said. “I didn’t think they liked each other.”
“Neither did they apparently,” Max continued. “Well Jondy says she was attracted to Cindy from the jump. It seems she kissed me because I was ‘safe’ and afterward she realized it was like kissing her sister. It wasn’t meant that way, but it almost feels like an insult.”
“Where is Jondy?” Logan asked looking around. “No longer attached to your hip I see.”
“She’s with Cindy,” Max replied.
“Of course.”
A silence hung in the room for a moment.
“Logan, do you think I’m a bad kisser?”
The question was so sudden, Logan couldn‘t answer for a moment. “Well, um—there was only—you know that one–um,” he stuttered then laughed nervously.
“I’m only asking, because, you know, I don’t know.” Max smiled. “It’s not like I wanted her to like it, but it’s always weird to–hear–well–”
“Yeah,” Logan finished and they both laughed. “I’ll say this much, to my memory it certainly wasn’t like kissing my sister, if I had a sister that is,” Logan stated. “I guess the success of a kiss depends on the people behind it.”
“Good enough,” Max replied. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, tomorrow,” Logan said as he watched Max leave the room.
*******************************
When Max opened her door, she was a little surprised to find Zack in her apartment. His eyes were filled with rage, but Zack was always angry, so she wasn’t really impressed or afraid.
“Where is she?” Zack asked.
“Who?” Max replied.
“Our sister,” Zack said. “I know she’s here.”
“Jondy is out on a date,” Max told him.
“Do you know how seriously you’ve compromised your situation?” Zack yelled.
“Jondy and I haven’t ‘compromised’ anything,” Max replied.
“Really,” Zack said. “You really don’t think Lydecker’s going to notice the unauthorized jobs being done by two X5s. I warned you about this.”
“Do you know something Zack?” Max asked plainly, sick of all the usual warnings and double talk. “If you do then spit it out.”
Just then, Jondy and Cindy came in sharing some private joke. All laughing stopped when they saw their visitor.
“What are you doing here?” Jondy asked her brother.
“I’m here to make sure you leave Seattle.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Jondy shouted at him.
“Lydecker knows,” Zack said. “The word is out. There‘s a market for information on us. A market of high bidders, only a few of which work for Lydecker. The less stunning acrobatics we perform, the better. Two of you working for Eyes Only couldn‘t remain unnoticed for very long.”
Jondy and Max looked at each other.
“Both of you need to leave Seattle, today,” Big Brother said in his usual demanding tone.
“I can’t,” Max said.
“I won’t,” Jondy agreed behind her.
“Then you’ll both end up back at Manticore. And if your friends end up dead, it‘s not my fault,” Zack said stomping out of the apartment. “I warned you,” he shouted as he went down the hall.
{end part 2}
