The Affair
Part 2 — DENIAL
Pete announced the pregnancy as soon as he found out. He called his mother that night. He called Clark the next day. Before the end of the week, everyone at the office knew. She never found a day to say the baby might not be yours. And how could she when the first time he heard the babies heart-beat and she came alive for him? How could she the day he found out she was a she and reflected upon their good luck at having exactly what they wanted? How could she the day his parents threw a baby shower and talked for hours about their new grand-daughter?
And how could she break his heart now that he stood there holding the little pink baby girl in his arms looking at her as if she were the most precious treasure in the world. He didn’t question the source of her features or why she didn’t look like little Clark in at least. All he knew was Chloe Joanne Ross was his little princess. Lana, on the other hand, couldn’t avoid over-analyzing every feature of her new daughter’s face. Only when Chloe came to visit her name sake and Pete was away from the room did she see that look in someone else’s eye.
“I can’t tell him,” Lana said softly.
“Okay, I hate to say this, but what about… Lex. I mean if this is his daughter, he has a right to know about her.”
“She’s Pete’s daughter, he loves her. No one else has to know.”
Pete entered the room then, carrying a gift. It was a long slim box and Chloe wondered what it could be.
“For you,” Pete said handing her the box.
Lana took the gift with a small grin as Pete retrieved the baby girl from Chloe. Lana opened the box and it was a long, black, magic wand.
“What the–” Chloe began to ask.
Pete took the wand with his free hand.
“Well,” Pete said. “Everyone sends flowers so me doing it would be a little redundant, unless I found a creative way toit.”
Pete flicked the wand a certain way and it turned into a bouquet of pink roses. Lana smiled happily and they shared a soft kiss.
“I love you,” Lana said.
“Me too,” Pete replied.
It was then Chloe saw that spark behind there eyes, that special something between them that had developed why she wasn’t looking. And she kind of understood why Lana didn’t want to risk losing that, why the truth was so hard to say.
“Well, I have places to be,” Chloe said getting up.
“Chloe,” Pete said. ” Since we named her after you, we were wondering if you would be little Chloe Joanne’s god-mother.”
“Really?” Chloe said surprised.
“Yeah, would you?”
“Sure… I mean I would be honored,” Chloe said. “Thank you.”
Chloe then left them alone in the hospital.
If Lana thought it was hard to tell Pete the truth after he fell in love with an unborn child, it was even harder when that child fell in love with him. CJ (which is what they came to call Chloe Joanne) loved Pete as much as he loved he loved her. But it was clear to Lana within the first few months who CJ’s father was, she didn’t need a DNA test. CJ had Lex’s eyes and every time the family was together and Lex happened to be around (which luckily wasn’t too often) she was afraid he would look into her eyes and see that she was his. A part of her would be relieved to see it all come out, but the another part of her would be happy to see CJ grow up thinking Pete was her father. Then she looked into CJs eyes and felt guilty about it all over again. She was denying Lex the decission to be part of his child’s life. Somedays this new guilt almost ripped her apart. Then she reminded herself her daughter was happy as she was. She’d see her giggling as Pete tickled her or sleeping in his arms and she didn’t want to destroy that bond between them, so she let it be. And days faded into weeks and then months and the words she needed to say never found a time to be said.
*~~*
A warm summer day found her walking the familiar path into City Hall with her children. Her excited son clutched a handmade card in his hand and his other hand held on to the stroller. Her daughter lay curled up in her stroller sleeping peacefully.
“Daddy works upstairs?” Little Clark said holding on to CJ’s stroller as they entered the elevator together.
“Yeah, daddy’s upstairs Peanut,” Lana told him.
“And we’re going to surprise him?” her son asked.
“Yes, we’re going to surprise him.”
“We should wake CJ up,” he said.
“No, let her sleep,” Lana said as the elevator doors opened on Pete’s floor.
As they entered hallway outside Pete’s office they spotted him standing a few feet away. He was in the hall talking to two men she didn’t recognize at a distance.
“Daddy!” little Clark exclaimed running up to him.
Pete immediatly turned toward them along with both of the men. One man was still a unknown to her, but the other one wasn’t, it was Lex. She wouldn’t look directly at him, she was afraid to meet his gaze. This was that feared close encounter she thought would reveal too much. She was so glad her daughter was asleep in a stroller, hidden under a canopy, it made it less likely she would attract too much attention.
“This is your candidates lovely family,” Lex said. “Mrs. Lang-Ross, little Clark, and baby… what’s your daughters name again?”
“CJ Mr. Luthor, my sisters name is CJ,” little Clark told him.
“CJ?” Lex questioned.
“Chloe Joanne,” Lana said. “We just call her CJ and she’s sleep right now.”
“We came to say happy birthday to daddy,” little Clark said showing off his homemade card. He handed it to his father. “It was ‘pose to be a surprise.”
“I didn’t know you were busy,” Lana said to Pete.
“I’m never to busy for my boy,” he said picking his son up.
“I traced CJ’s hand cause she can’t write like me,” he said pointing to a little hand print on the card. “I’m a big boy so I can write, but mommy helped me.”
“I think this is the best card I’ve ever gotten Peanut. I’m going to go put it on my desk,” he said. Clark smiled proudly.
“I’ll go now, I mean…” Lana stopped and turn to her son. “Come on boy.”
Little Clark walked away from his father and went back over to his mother.
“No need to leave. I mean we’re pretty much done for today,” Pete said. “I wanted you meet this guy anyway. His name is Harry Cabbot. He’s going to be running my campaign for Governor.”
“Hello Mr. Cabbot.”
“Hello and I’m happy to be involved in your husband’s campaign Mrs. Ross,” he said shaking her hand. “From what Lex has told me, he’ll make a great Governor, once his term is up as Mayor that is.”
“Of course,” Lana said.
“So we’ll arrange a time to talk further?” Cabbot asked.
“Certainly,” Pete replied.
Mr. Cabbot left with Lex.
“You’re working with Lex on this?” Lana questioned.
“He’s one person supporting my campaign, yes.”
“Pete, I don’t want you indebted to him.”
“He’s a powerful figure Lana, even I have to admit that. I’d rather have him backing me than the other guy,” Pete told her. “And aren’t you the one who always says lighten up on Lex?”
“I just… don’t trust him with you okay.”
“I’m not a child Lana. And I’m not going to let some family grudge get in the way of our progress to the next step. Believe me, I can take care of myself when it comes to dealing with Luthors.”
“I don’t want you to owe him anything Pete.”
“What do you -?”
“Superman,” little Clark yelled interrupting them, his voice filled with sudden excitment. Lana turned to see the familiar dark haired figure in red and blue hovering outside a nearby window. Pete casually opened the window and let him in.
“We need to talk about Lex,” Superman said to Pete.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Lana said.
Lana entered an empty conference room down the hall with the children. They waited patiently for Pete. Chloe woke up crying for a bottle. Clark asked to feed her and she let him (though she guided his hand). Pete came in while she was burping the baby.
“Superman still here daddy?” the little boy asked.
“No, he has people to save,” Pete told him.
“What did he have to say?” Lana asked.
“Same thing you did, just about,” Pete said sliding into a seat beside her. “That I shouldn’t be indebted to Lex. But this isn’t personal, it’s business.”
“Business with Lex.”
“Who got you started with the Talon? All Lex’s business deals aren’t dirty.”
“But you acknowledge some of them are.”
“The chances of me being backed by a man without sin are slim.”
“You use to be so anti-Luthor.”
“And Clark use to be his best friend, things change.”
“How’s your dad going to feel about it?”
“It’s not like he’s moving in. My father won’t know Cabbot has anything to do with Lex unless you tell him.”
Lana sighed. “I don’t like him getting too close to us.”
“He’s not going to be close to us, Harry Cabbot is,” Pete said with a smile. Something about his smile always made her smile.
“I love you,” Lana said.
“I know,” Pete replied. They both smiled at this because this exchange reminded them both of their first real date. On this date they’d seen a special ‘Star Wars’ showing. The date hadn’t been planned, it was a blind date arranged by two casual college acquaintances. They’d laughed at the idea thier newly aquired friends thought they made a good couple and been surprised when they agreed with them at the end of the night.
“Lets go! We gonna be late Mom,” little Clark said interrupting thier shared memory.
“Okay Peanut, okay,” Lana said.
“Late for what?” Pete asked.
“You’ll see,” Lana said settling CJ back down in the stroller. Then they all left City Hall together.
“Surprise,” said the Ross family as Pete entered with Lana and the kids. He was carrying CJ and Lana was holding their son’s hand. The loud screams started the little girl and she started crying. Pete took her to a quiet corner and spent awhile calming her down before the birthday celebrations started.
It was an entertaining evening from that point on, but his father kept asking to have a word with him. Eventually his father separated him from the celebrations long enough for this serious talk.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something,” his father said. “I know this isn’t the right time, but I don’t see you often enough to address it properly. And I think it’s about time I brought it up.”
“Brought up what?” Pete questioned.
“It’s about your youngest, CJ.”
“What about her?” Pete asked.
“We love her, we really do? But she doesn’t look… it doesn’t seem like… she belongs if you know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t”
“Your brother’s fiancée just asked if she was adopted. Pete that little girl doesn’t really look like you and she doesn’t favor Lana much.”
“You know she’s not adopted. You were there when…”
“I know. Which makes you wonder what’s going on?”
Pete took a few minutes to try and process his father’s words. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m trying ask… I’m trying to find out… if it’s possible… that baby is not yours?”
“Of course she is. Sometimes kids pick up traits from obscure family members, she’s mine,” Pete told him. “She can’t be any… she’s mine.”
He walked away from him, not wanting to hear any more. But for the first time he sat and looked, really looked, at his little girl. He never questioned it. Her red hair, her complexion, her features. She didn’t look like any family member he could remember and there were only faint traces of Lana in her, but it wasn’t possible that she could be anyone else’s… was it?
That night Pete lay staring at the ceiling wondering if anything his father said could be true. He didn’t want to believe his wife was having an affair. He didn’t want to believe CJ wasn’t his. But somewhere deep down he knew she didn’t feel like his. Maybe their was a mix-up at the hospital. No, he saw her when she was born. That was the baby who’s cord he had cut in the delivery room that day, so his father had to be wrong. CJ was his baby… she had to be.
*~~*
The next few months were filled with questions he couldn’t find the words to ask. But he now scrutinized every feature of his little girl hoping to find himself. His son was him, he saw it in everything he did. He wasn’t a little clone of him. His a skin was a cinnamon brown unlike the deep chocolate of his father. But his face was the same shape, he had his eyes, his nose, his chin. But in his daughter he saw very little of himself. It wasn’t that he hadn’t connected with her, she was his little girl in all the ways that counted. She looked at him with that same admiration that his son did and he loved her with all his heart, but he didn’t see himself and Lana reflected back in her eyes. Sometimes he was afraid to look to closely into her eyes. Afraid they’d reveal a truth he didn’t want to know.
Pete reflected upon all this as he sat with his friend Clark watching the children run through the yard. CJ’s first birthday had arrived. The first year had gone by pretty fast in comparrison to her brother. They had been so afraid in little Clark’s first year it was a relief for him to reach an age where he was a walking talking healthy toddler. With CJ he didn’t know where the year had gone.
“You’re a lucky man,” Clark said watching the children run around the yard.
“Am I?” Pete questioned.
“You know you are. You love your kids.”
“Who does she look like to you?” Pete questioned.
“What?”
“CJ, who does she look like?”
“Why are you asking?”
“My little Peanut, looks just like me. I mean there’s Lana too, but I see me. With CJ, I don’t see me. So who is it she looks like?”
Clark didn’t answer.
“Do you think Lana had an affair?” Pete asked.
“What?” Clark said shocked. “Lana wouldn’t do that, I mean it’s just not in her. And if she did, she certainly wouldn’t let you think a baby that resulted from it was yours.”
“In your head she’s still some innocent princess,” Pete said with a slight bitterness in his voice. “That’s why I know it’s not you, you’d never let her cross that line.”
“Look, she wouldn’t. I know she wouldn’t. I’ve been… closer to her much longer than you Pete.”
“And I’ve been close to her. We have a family. You don’t think I know her as well as you do?”
“I wasn’t saying that Pete,” Clark told him. “It came out wrong.”
“Clark, I don’t want to believe she would cheat on me, but I’m not going to say she couldn’t have.”
Pete got up and walked off to be alone. Clark looked over at CJ sitting in Lana’s lap and wondered if it could be true. Pete was right, she didn’t look like Pete. And she didn’t resemble Lana much. So who’s face did she have?
After gift opening was done, Lana handed CJ over to her aunt. Then she went in the kitchen to get the cake and found Chloe sitting there.
“You hiding?” Lana asked.
“I don’t know how you deal with all these little kids. I was dizzy in five minutes.”
Lana smiled and got the cake out of the refrigerator.
“She’s a year old Lana, how long do you think you can keep this up?”
“Keep what up?”
“You know what.”
Lana sighed as she carefully placed the candle in the center of the cake. “Last week, CJ got a fever. She was sicker than we had ever seen her and after our little Peanut, after what we went through with him, it was so scary. Pete sat up all night, he couldn’t sleep. He kept calling the doctor. We got the fever down and she was okay. But it reminded me. Lex is never going to be that guy. Pete’s the one CJ wants when she’s scared or she’s sick. Lex may be her father, but Pete’s the one she sees as dad.”
“Lex,” a third female voice said.
“Lois,” Chloe said as both she and Lana’s heads toward her cousin. Neither one of them knew she was in the house or near the kitchen. From her position in the doorway, it seemed she had been walking by and caught the tail end of the conversation.
“You cheated on Pete with Lex Luthor?” Lois questioned entering the kitchen. “That baby is his?”
“Keep your voice down,” Chloe said. “This isn’t exactly front page news.”
“Yet,” Lois said to Chloe. “I guess Clark was wrong. You do have the ability to bury a good story.”
“She knows this is not something that needs to be published,” Lana said. “And you cannot tell Pete. He loves that little girl.”
“He can know the truth and love her still,” Lois said. “You’re not protecting Pete from the truth, you’re protecting yourself.”
“Look Lois,” Lana said through gritted teeth. “This is not about me. If Lex finds out CJ is his, she won’t be Pete’s little girl anymore.”
“Did I say tell Lex?” Lois asked. “No, you need to tell Pete before he figures it out.”
“I know that!!” Lana yelled.
“Whoa, calm down ladies,” Chloe said. “Lois, Lana and I, we’ve already discussed all this. I’ve said all the things you just said.”
“And I was going to tell him, but I love him,” Lana told Lois. “How do I tell him something I know will tear him apart? I live with the guilt of my weak moment everyday that I look into that child’s eyes. But I also see the relationship my daughter and my husband have and I don’t want to break thier hearts. You can’t tell him.”
“I won’t be the one to tell him, but you have to find a way to tell him.”
“I know that. But not today, today his little girl has her first birthday.”
Lana picked up the cake and walked onto the patio.
“I can’t believe you kept this quiet for a year,” Lois said to Chloe.
“Over a year,” Chloe said. “I knew there was uncertainty about the father when she was pregnant.”
“Pete should really be told.”
“I agree, but not by you or me.”
(Sept. 12, 2003)
