The Affair
Part 3 — REVEALED
The evening after CJ’s first birthday, Lois and Clark were back in their apartment in Metropolis. They sat on the couch together, going through notes for their latest story, but Clark’s head wasn’t in it at the moment. Clark had read the same page several times and seeing as he could usually whip through this kind of stuff faster than she could blink, Lois could tell there was something on Clark’s mind.
“What’s wrong?” Lois asked.
“Nothing, just a conversation I had with Pete.”
“About?”
“CJ,” he replied. “He’s not sure that she’s… his.”
“And what do you think?” Lois asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Come on Clark, you’re a reporter,” Lois said. “Picture that little girl and then picture the people who are suppose to be her parents. Is there something wrong with this picture?”
“I never thought Lana looked much like Henry Small, but… you think it’s true?” Clark asked.
Lois didn’t answer, but she could tell Clark read something in her eyes.
“You know something,” Clark said. “What is it?”
Lois didn’t say anything.
“Lois?”
“Lex,” Lois finally said, though Clark could tell she struggled with the words. “Lex Luthor.”
“What about him?”
“If there was a third person that needed to know, he would be it.”
“Lex? Lex and Lana?” Clark replied shocked.
Lois nodded.
“How do you –?”
“I overheard a conversation between Lana and Chloe,” Lois told him.
“Chloe knows?” Clark questioned. “And she didn’t — I have to tell Pete,” Clark said getting up.
“It’s Lana’s job to tell him, not ours.”
“Well she hasn’t told him. Chloe knows, you know, I know, and I’d rather let Pete know before someone else tells him. Or before Lex finds out and comes to his door trying to take his child.”
“He’ll resent you for it. They shoot the messenger Clark, they always shoot the messenger.”
“You forget, I’m bulletproof.”
“Not to these kinds of bullets,” Lois told him. “When it comes to this, to the people you care about, you’re more vulnerable than anyone.”
“Fine, I won’t talk to Pete, I’ll talk to someone else.”
“Who?”
Lana had just put CJ down for her nap when Superman landed outside her window. She invited him inside offered him refreshments, which he refused.
“I’m not here for a casual visit.” he said. “I want you to know that I know.”
“What do you know?”
“About Lex and CJ.”
“How –?” she began to ask, but she knew the answer. “She told you.”
“We don’t keep secrets, unlike another couple I know.”
“Lex can’t know,” Lana said. “He’s a lot of things, but he’s not a father. And I’ve seen what being a Luthor does to a child, how it affected Lex and Lucas–”
“And that’s why Pete needs to know,” Superman said. “He needs to be prepared to fight for his daughter if Lex finds out.”
“But neither one of them knows and they’re happy not knowing.”
“For how long? I mean has Lex ever taken a good look at CJ?”
“No,” Lana replied.
“And what do you think will happen when he does?” Clark asked. “And Pete already suspects.”
“He does?”
“He doesn’t know what to think and too many people know, one day something’s going to slip and the truth is going to reach him. It’s going to hurt, whenever he hears it, but if it’s not from you, if you’re not the one honest with him, it’s going to hurt even more.” Superman touched her shoulder and she met his eyes. “Listen, People have always thought I fell in love with an illusion of you as a teenager. Someone perfect, someone who wasn’t flawed, a you that didn’t exist. They’re wrong. I always saw your heart Lana and your heart is as genuinely good as it comes. You know Pete deserves the truth and you need to tell him. He loves you.”
And then, in a flash, he flew away leaving Lana to search her heart for the right thing to do. She didn’t have to search for the right thing very long, she knew what the right thing was. Somehow hearing it from Clark, even more importantly, hearing it from Clark as Superman made it necessary to confess.
Pete came home that night to a quiet house. He was use to his son running into his knees yelling daddy and his son not being there sort of set his world off balance. He sensed something was wrong before he walked into the dinning room and found Lana sitting at a table alone.
“Where are the kids?”
“With your sister,” Lana said. “Sit down, we need to talk.”
Pete sat down opposite her.
“What do we need to talk about?” he asked.
“CJ,” she said softly.
“What about her?” he asked. He looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes, knowing what was coming.
“You need to know that I love you before I–”
“She’s not mine is she?” Pete asked.
“I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think so,” Lana told him.
“Who?”
She thought she would choke on the words, but she knew they had to come out. “Lex Luthor,” she confessed quickly.
The name seem to hurt him more than the knowledge of the affair, because Pete turned to her disgusted. “Luthor? Of all people, LUTHOR!”
“It was when I was in Gotham,” she said, tears now streaming down her face. “That wedding, the one you couldn’t attend. Lex showed up, I think he knew the groom. I don’t know what happened.”
“Do you love him?”
“Do I love Lex? It wasn’t…”
“Are you still seeing him,” he said before she could finish her sentence. He was balling his hand into a fist so tight his knuckles were turning white.
“No. And Pete, you’re the one I want raising CJ, not Lex. I don’t want –.”
“Then why did you do it?” he asked, she could tell he was fighting showing how hurt he was and losing the battle.
“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. She had no real answers. “The fantasy of a teenage girl fulfilled maybe.”
“A fantasy, destroying us was a part of some Lex Luthor fantasy you had?”
“I just pulled that out the air, I don’t have a reasonable ‘why’ okay. It just happened.”
“‘It just happened’? How am I suppose to take that Lana?!” Pete yelled.
“I don’t know, okay. I love you and it wasn’t anything you did, it was me. I found out it is possible to get everything you ever wanted and it scared me,” Lana said as calmly as possible, fighting her own tears and hoping this reason at least made some sense to him. “I spent a lot of my life replacing the family I lost when my parents died. The families I created growing up, with Nell, at the Sullivans, even with Henry Small, they all fell apart in time. But I grew up and made my own family, I should have been happy, but I in a way I was waiting for something to go wrong, something to be wrong. And when I couldn’t find it, I guess I created wrong so at least this time, I could control the end. But I realized, all of a sudden, I didn’t want it to end.”
“For a year, a year, you let me believe she was mine.”
“In my heart she is. No one else loves her like you do, I mean L–”
“Don’t say that name in my house.”
A doorbell stopped their conversation. Pete went to answer the door. It was his sister with the children. His five year old ran in and hugged him excitedly before darting over to his mother.
“Dadda,” CJ said reaching for her father. Somehow hearing that made the anger melt away. He loved this little girl, no matter where her genes came from. He took her from his sister and held her in his arms, comforting himself as he held her.
Lana heard him mumble ‘Yeah, I’m daddy’ as he kissed her head softly and walked away with her. Lana thanked Pete’s sister for watching the children and bid her good-bye. She and Pete didn’t talk for the rest of the night.
*~~*
“Hello Clark,” Pete said as he went through the paperwork on his desk.
Pete had spent most of the day buried in paper work, happy to focus on it instead of the conversation he had the day before with his wife. Superman had just arrived in his office and he didn’t know if he wanted to talk to him about his wife’s confession or not. But when he asked how things were there was only one thing to say.
“She told me the truth,” Pete said to him.
“Are you going to tell Lex?”
“You know?”
“I found out only shortly before you did. Lois overheard a conversation between Chloe and Lana and then Lois told me.”
“So everyone knew but me,” Pete said mostly to himself, but he didn’t have the energy to be upset about it. “If you must know, no, I’m not telling Lex. I have to protect CJ from him.”
“Lex isn’t stupid. He could figure it out.”
“I’m quite sure Lex doesn’t keep a calendar of his one night stands. Destroying my family was hardly a blip on his radar screen.”
“You can’t be sure.”
“This is the way it has to be,” Pete said to him. “Do you really want to send that innocent little girl into the Luthor Lion’s den?”
“No, but lies aren’t–”
“Don’t preach to me about lying. You lie to people everyday. You pretend to be two completely different men.”
“Only to protect myself, to protect the people close to me.”
“That’s my reason too,” Pete replied. “And I’m severing all political related ties with him.”
“Don’t you think that will be kind of suspicious now?”
“Let me worry about it. I can protect my family, you go worry about the rest of the world,” Pete told him.
Clark knew Pete was hurting right now. There was a sadness in Pete’s voice and a dangerous determination in his eye. He was worried about him, but there was no point in arguing with him about how he was handling this, right now he wasn’t in a state of mind to hear it. He flew away and left him alone.
Lana and Pete were in Metropolis that weekend. So, needing a kind ear, Lana arranged to meet Chloe while Pete was off spending some private time with the kids. The two women were to met at the usual cafe. Chloe was already there when Lana arrived. It was hard to believe after all these years and so many ups and downs, Chloe was the one she had left to lean on when everything else was uncertain. For a split second she smiled to herself suddenly realizing all her families hadn’t fallen apart, they had there good times and bad times (really bad times), but the sisterly relationship between herself and Chloe had somehow survived it all.
“Well, how are things at home?” Chloe asked as Lana sat down.
“Horrible,” Lana replied. “Pete barely looks at me.”
“It’ll past. It’s not like he’s running to divorce court.”
“Yeah, but sometimes I wonder the only thing that’s preventing him is public opinion.”
“You don’t believe that,” Chloe told her.
“I don’t know what I believe,” Lana replied. “I mean when he asked me why, I didn’t really have a reason to give him.”
“Well, you couldn’t exactly tell him you’re still attracted to Lex.”
“I think I’d have more hope for us if it was anyone, but Lex. Pete was just so hurt by that. It would have hurt him no matter what, but the name Luthor just sparked this, I don’t know, different kind of anger in him. I really don’t know if he can forgive me.”
They sat in silence for a moment.
“You know what I miss?” Lana finally said.
“What?”
“The dumb gifts.”
Chloe cast her a questioning look.
“Remember the wand at the hospital,” Lana said with a smile “That was one of them, but there’s rarely an occasion for the dumb gifts. He just picks them up at random and usually has some reason behind them. The first one he ever gave me was a yo-yo, it was the day after our first date. I don’t think it cost more than 50 cents.”
“You fell for a cheapskate?”
“It wasn’t the gift, it was the meaning behind it.”
“What’s the meaning behind a yo-yo?”
“He said he thought it was the dumbest toy ever when he was a little boy. His brother loved it, he played with his for hours. He bought different styles and designs and brands. One day Pete tried one, out of curiosity and he loved it. He said falling for me was like that, just this unexpected joy.”
“Was Pete broke at the time? Cause it sounds like he came up with this story to cover up a cheep gift.”
Lana laughed before she continued. “He still gets them for me, well not lately, but he use to,” Lana told her. “Just to show me how these little silly things remind him of me. Why did I hurt him Chloe?”
“I wasn’t there,” she said. “But I was a Smallville girl once too and I know how… intoxicating Lex can be. I mean we all want a good guy to marry or make a family with, but another part of us always wants that sexy, dangerous fantasy. I mean at least once. And sometimes when you’re locked in that ideal life, that flirtation with the dark side looks all the more appealing.”
“And it’s really hard to say no,” Lana said to herself. “Especially when you’re just a little drunk and feeling rebellious.” Lana reached across the table and took Chloe’s hand. “Thanks for being so understanding. You’ve been great through all this.”
“Yeah, well, we’re suppose to be sisters right?” Chloe replied.
They smiled at each other.
“I haven’t walked in on some illicit affair have I?” a familiar voice asked.
They both looked up and saw Lex. Lana’s heart skipped a beat.
“Hi Lex,” they said together.
“What are you doing here?” Chloe asked. Lana didn’t think she was capable of saying much at the moment.
“Same thing you are, a cup of coffee,” he replied.
Chloe’s beeper went off. She checked it.
“Damn,” Chloe said. “Lana I should take this. Are you going to be okay?”
“I’m fine,” Lana said with a nervous grin.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll call you.”
“Okay,” Chloe said walking out the coffee shop to use the pay phone.
“May I?” Lex asked pointing to Chloe’s empty seat.
Lana nodded and he sat down.
“I realize haven’t checked in with you in awhile, how are you?”
“Fine,” Lana said avoiding his eyes.
“The family?”
“Fine,” Lana said.
“Then what was all that ‘Are you okay’ stuff between yourself and Chloe?”
“I was kind of upset about some things, but I talked about them with Chloe and she just– wanted to be sure I was okay.”
“Does she know about us?”
“There isn’t really an us Lex,” Lana replied, hoping she sounded convincing and afraid that she didn’t. “Besides, you said we should leave it in Gotham.”
“I said it doesn’t belong in Smallville, we’re not in Smallville,” he told her reaching out to touch her hand. She quickly snatched it from the table.
“I here with Pete and the kids,” Lana said.
“They’re here?” he asked looking around.
“Not here, but they’re in Metropolis, at the zoo,” Lana told him. “It’s CJ’s first time at a zoo, but I was meeting Chloe so Pete took the kids.”
“Do you have pictures?”
“Of who?”
“The children. Last year you showed me about twenty pictures of your son, I haven’t seen many of your little girl,” Lex replied. “Is she as gorgeous as her mother?”
“If she’s gorgeous it’s not because of me,” she replied. “She actually reminds me of her father everyday,” she said with a little half smile. She hadn’t thought about them before, but there were all these little expressions that reminded her of Lex. She wondered if she was just making them up in her mind right now because he was he was here.
“So…”
“What?”
“Pictures?” Lex questioned.
“Oh, I don’t have any. I mean, I do, but I got a new bag and I didn’t transfer everything.” She thought up the lie so quickly, she scared herself. She knew she should make up some excuse to leave right now, but she couldn’t quite make herself do it.
“Another time then,” he said. “Did I ever tell you I think Pete’s a lucky man?”
“No,” Lana replied nervously. She didn’t know where this was going.
“I see the way his son looks at him. Like he’s a god, like he can do no harm,” Lex told her. “And Pete can look at that little boy and see the best parts of himself carried on into the future. If I ever looked at my father that way, I don’t remember it. My earliest memories of him were the pain he caused my mother. But maybe one day I’ll get to chance to see the best parts of me in someone else. And maybe I’ll be a better father than my father.”
“Do you really want that?” Lana asked.
“Yes,” Lex said. “I know you’ve heard questionable things about me over the years. But I’m still fighting the battle I’ve always fought, a battle to be better man than Lionel Luthor. I haven’t succeeded in as many ways as I would have liked to, but I’m still fighting.”
A part of Lana had never seen Lex as a father, so she had been satisfied in thinking it was better for all if Pete raised CJ. Now she knew that decision hadn’t been right at all. Lex had as much a right to CJ as Pete did to his son. She almost told him right then and there, almost let the words slip, but she decided she couldn’t tell Lex before she talked to Pete. There couldn’t be another betrayal between them. Then she thought about pulling out CJ’s picture and handing it over with some lame excuse about forgetting she had it, but in the end she decided against this too. She was getting dangerously close to feelings she couldn’t afford to deal with and even though a part of her wanted to stay and have coffee, talk to Lex, she didn’t want to risk losing herself in the moment again.
“I need to go meet Pete and the kids,” Lana said checking her watch.
“I understand. We’ll have coffee another time?” Lex asked.
“Of course,” Lana said rushing out of the cafe.
*~~*
When night fell on the Ross house it found Pete sitting in his daughter’s room watching her sleep. He couldn’t believe this sweet little girl was a Luthor. It was a named he hated growing up. His family had been cheated by a Luthor. His best friend, Clark, had been seduced by a Luthor’s wealth. His other best friend, Chloe, had been manipulated by a Luthor. Then he discovered his wife had been to bed with a Luthor. He knew now business could never be anything but personal when dealing with a Luthor, eventually they infected everything. But he wouldn’t let a Luthor have this baby girl.
“Pete,” his wife’s voice said from the doorway. “You coming to bed?”
“In a minute,” he said.
“Pete, we really need to talk about something. I know you’re not going to like it, but –”
“But what?” he said turning to face her.
“It’s Lex,” Lana said. “Hiding it from him now seems stupid. He has as much a right to the whole truth as you do.”
“No he doesn’t.”
“But Pete…”
“Just let me sit here, okay. I’m really not in the mood for this conversation.”
“All right,” Lana said sounding a little defeated.
Lana walked into little Clark’s room across the hall. He had kicked off his blankets as usual and she tucked him in again.
“Hi Mama,” Clark said coming half awake due to her presence.
“Go back to sleep Peanut.”
“I want Ice Cream,” he said yawning, forcing his eyes to open.
“You know you don’t get ice cream in the middle of the night.”
He yawned, but continued to force himself awake. He took a good look at his mother. “You’re sad mommy.”
“A little,” she replied.
“You want me give you a hug?” Clark asked.
“That would help a lot Peanut,” Lana said to the little boy.
Little Clark sat up and gave her a hug. “I love you thousand years mommy,” he said. It was something she once told him.
“I love you a thousand more,” she said planting a kiss on his forehead. “Now go back to sleep.”
She sat by his bedside and watched him yawn and drift off to sleep. When she looked at this little boy it had the same effect as looking at CJ, she saw his father in him and all the reasons she loved his father. Actually it was a much simpler feeling to look at her son and feel that way. He represented everything done right. Looking at her daughter left her much more confused about how she should feel. CJ was here because of something she called a mistake and she hated that. She loved her daughter and in moments we’re she was alone watching her play, she remembered the good things about Lex. The young man who challenged her to earn it when she wanted to preserve the Talon, the guy who came to her side with kind words when she hid from her own birthday party, the man who empowered her with self defense lessons. He was a good man and she didn’t mind that man being the father of her child. But that Lex seemed very personal to her own experience and in contrast with everyone else’s Lex. She saw a part of Lex other’s didn’t, but she couldn’t pretend a part of her hadn’t been driven by a simpler needs. When she and Pete became parents, in a lot of ways they became different people and experienced a different kind of love, something quiet and more settled. It wasn’t a bad thing, but a part of her missed the passion that was lost, that excitement of new young love, but she still loved Pete and her life with him. However, something was missing and she couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
*~~*
“Can we go see Daddy?” Clark asked as his mother picked him up from School. He had just finished his first half-day of kindergarten.
“Not today,” Lana said to her son.
“Why?”
“Because Daddy’s busy,” Lana said.
She and her son arrived home ten minutes later. As soon as she got home she was usually greeted by the babysitter and when she wasn’t she was confused. She didn’t have to search the house to find out why the sitter was missing, little Clark immediately saw why.
“Daddy,” little Clark yelled and ran into the dinning room where Pete was holding his daughter and sitting with Harry Cabbot.
“You’re home?!” Lana asked shocked.
“I let the day babysitter have the day off,” Pete told her. “And I arranged to meet with Mr. Cabbot to give him some news.”
“Some news I hope you’ll get him to reconsider,” Mr. Cabbot said. “He’s decided not to run for Governor.”
“What?” Lana said shocked.
“I’d like to shift my focus elsewhere.”
“Mr. Cabbot may I speak to my husband alone?”
“Please,” he replied and got up to leave the room.
“Clark can you go play somewhere else?”
Clark reluctantly left his father’s side. Lana waited until she thought all other ears were gone before speaking again.
“What are you doing?” Lana asked.
“What I have to do,” Pete said looking at his little girl. “I can’t be involved with Lex. I don’t want to give him any reason to look any closer at this baby than he already has. And the best way to do that is to be out of it all together.”
“Then we’ll tell him the truth? And the three of us can decide–”
“No!”
“What if I had married Lex and had your child?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I had been married to Lex and had Clark while I was married to him? Would you want me to keep your son from you?”
“That’s different.”
“How? Because he’s a Luthor. Well she’s probably a Luthor and nothing you do is going to change that.”
“I am her father and as long as she believes it, she’s safe from everything that goes with being a Luthor.”
*~~*
Lex hadn’t been in his old Smallville home for six months. He kept it only for the memories. It was the only thing that had felt close to a home, close to something good and warm. Close to the man he had been trying to be, a man better than his father. It seemed like here was the only place he could reclaim that man.
“Mr. Luthor,” a voice said running up the stairs.
The owner of the voice found him in his office.
“Yes Mr. Cabbot,” Lex said as he entered.
“Pete Ross has decided he doesn’t want to run for Governor and at first I didn’t understand why,” Mr. Cabbot was very excited and said all this very fast. “And then his wife came home…”
“Lana?” Lex asked.
“Yes. And you didn’t tell me how well you knew her or at least how well you got to know her about a year and a half ago.”
“What are you talking about?” Lex asked in a bored voice.
“Curiosity got the better of me and I did some eavesdropping. I overheard some interesting things about Pete Ross’ little girl, CJ. It turns out instead of Chloe Joanne Ross, her name should be Chloe Joanne Luthor.”
“What?” Lex questioned shocked. He wondered if that was why Lana was so nervous when they ran across each other in Metropolis?
“Mr. and Mrs. Ross seem to be under the impression the little girl is a Luthor.”
“No,” Lex said to himself. “Lana would have told me.”
“Seems like she wants too. Pete Ross seems to be the only thing stopping her.”
“Do you have a picture?” Lex asked, though he wasn’t looking at him. His focus seemed to be on something lost in the space of his mind.
“No.”
“I have to see this child.”
Lex Luthor arrived at the Ross house the next day. He didn’t know what he expected coming here, but he knew he would know in one glance if that little girl was his. He hadn’t planned on a daughter, but the thought didn’t bother him.
He rang the bell and the babysitter opened the door holding a grinning baby girl. At the moment it was like looking at someone he lost long ago. She had his mother’s eyes, her face, her smile.
“Is this Chloe Joanne?”
“Who are you?” the babysitter said.
“Lex Luthor, a friend of the family. Is Lana here?”
“No sir.”
“May I come inside and wait?”
“I don’t–”
“Lex,” Lana’s voice said somewhere behind him. He turned and saw her standing there holding the hand of her five year old. He was still wearing his book bag, so he must have just come from school. Lana looked from him to the little girl and then back again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lex asked.
Lana gave no reply. She walked into the house with her son close behind her and Lex followed them. Her baby daughter reached for her right away. Lana took her and asked the babysitter to take little Clark outside to play. Lex followed her into the living room where they sat down together. Lana immediately began to explain.
“I couldn’t tell you until I told Pete. And I couldn’t find the right time to tell Pete at first and then once he knew, he loved her so much that he didn’t want to share her. In his heart, CJ is his daughter.”
“She’s my child Lana.”
“We don’t know that,” Lana said. “I mean despite outward appearances there is a slim chance–”
“She has my mother’s eyes.”
“She has your eyes,” Lana mumbled.
“So you do know she’s mine?”
Lana didn’t say anything.
“Can I hold her?” Lex asked.
Lana looked unsure, but she picked her up off her own lap and handed her to Lex. He took the baby girl cautiously and smiled at her. She smiled back and settled calmly on his lap. Seeing them together for the first time almost made her cry.
“She seems to like you,” Lana said looking at them together. “She doesn’t take to just anyone.”
“Hey Miss Chloe Joanne,” he said to the baby girl, though she hardly paid attention – she was now focusing on the toy in her hand. “I’ve missed so much, haven’t I?” Lex asked Lana. “I mean they change a lot in the first year, right?”
“Yes,” Lana replied, her heart breaking a little with the guilt of it all. She had no right to knowingly deny him access to a child that she was 98% sure was his. “Um, I have pictures,” she said getting down CJ’s baby book. “I’ll take her,” she said as she handed him the book.
“That’s okay,” Lex said as he took the book and opened it.
“Me,” CJ said pointing as he looked at the first page.
“Her first word was Dadda?” he asked.
“Yeah, she loves her d–Pete.”
“Car,” CJ said pointing to a picture of herself and her brother on another page.
“That’s what she calls her brother right now,” Lana explained “She can’t quite get out Clark, so she says Car.”
“Dadda,” CJ said excitedly as he reached a picture of Pete. Lana registered a bit of hurt in Lex’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, that’s daddy to her,” Lana said. She could tell he wanted to tell her that he was her father. “Please, just let it go right now.”
“I will,” Lex replied. “but only for now.”
He stood up, holding the little girl. He seemed reluctant to give her back to her mother. Lana was torn, part of her didn’t want to see them parted and another part of her wanted to her back as quickly as possible.
“Bye Chloe Joanne,” Lex said giving her back to Lana. He kissed the baby’s forehead. And as his lips separated from the baby’s head, Lana saw someone else had arrived.
“Pete?!” Lana exclaimed.
“What is he doing here?” he asked to Lana, speaking as if Lex wasn’t in the room.
“I’m here to see Chloe Joanne,” Lex replied coolly.
“CJ doesn’t need to see you,” Pete said walking over to his wife. He took CJ and began looking her over as if he’d now find 666 marked on her somewhere.
“We need to discuss this.”
“There’s nothing to discuss.”
“We both know the truth, we all know the truth,” Lex said. “And Chloe Joanne deserves to know the truth.”
“CJ deserves a normal life with us, her family.”
“She’s young enough–”
“To forget me!”
“No, not to forget you, but to accept me,” Lex told him.
“And accept being a Luthor.”
“It’s just a name.”
“It’s more than a name and you know it — Luthor,” Pete walked out of the room with CJ.
“Just, let him calm down Lex,” Lana said to him. “I’ll call you okay.”
Lex nodded. “I want you to know I’m not letting this go.”
“Please Lex, just give me a chance to fix my mess.”
“I’ll give him a week to agree to a DNA test. Can I see her before then?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Lana–”
“Lex, I’m not saying never. It’s my fault you were cut out of so much of her life so far, but there’s nothing I can do about that. We’re here now and Pete loves CJ so much, as much as he loves his son. It’s not going to be easy for him to let go of that.”
“I’m not trying to take her away, I just want–.”
“I know that,” Lana said. “Just give me some time.”
“A week,” Lex repeated leaving.
After she saw him out, she went off to find Pete. He was sitting on the floor with CJ playing. She laughed as he rang the bell on her little plastic train. She could never get it to work so she got very excited when Pete or little Clark got it to ring.
“‘gan Dadda,” she said just before she looked up and saw her mother standing in the doorway.
“Pete, we really need to talk about Lex,” Lana said
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“He’s going to demand a DNA test,” Lana said.
“What?” Pete said standing up, leaving the little girl to play on her own.
“You knew that he would,” she said. “Listen families adjust to these type of situations all the time.”
“We can’t let him do it,” Pete said. “Didn’t you hear the way he kept saying Chloe Joanne?”
“It’s her name.”
“I know it’s her name, we named her!” Pete yelled. “But it was the way he said it, the way he kept saying it knowing we call her CJ.”
“We call our son Peanut, it’s our nickname and we don’t get upset with anyone who calls him Clark,” Lana yelled back.
“You know this is different!”
“He has a right to his child!”
“What makes her his child?! A couple strands of DNA?!”
“Yes, those couple strands give him the right to a fair chance!”
“A fair chance? Since when do Luthors know anything about fair chances?!”
“This isn’t about Luthors, this is about one man, Lex and his daughter. I know it hurts you to hear that, but that’s what she is,” Lana told him. “And you were the one who was going to involve him in your campaign.”
“That’s right and it wasn’t personal, it was business. It had nothing to do with you or my son or CJ.”
“Everything you do has something to do with us! We’re not some separate little safe zone you can keep in a bubble away from the rest of the world.”
“Is that why you slept with him, because I kept you in a bubble?”
“No!” Lana said. “It wasn’t about you!”
“Then what was it about!”
“Mommy! Daddy!” a little voice screamed. They knew immediately it was their son. “Stop yelling, CJ’s crying.”
Little Clark ran over to his sister and began to pat her up. They looked at each other wondering how they could have graduated to yelling in front of one of their children, how they could have missed the little girl crying at their feet. The babysitter appeared in the doorway.
“I tried to keep him out,” she said.
“It’s okay,” Lana said. “You can go home.”
The babysitter disappeared from the doorway and Lana and Pete dropped to the floor. They both scooted close to CJ and little Clark. They put their arms around the children.
“Peanut, mommy and daddy made a mistake,” Pete said.
“Sometimes we make mistakes,” Lana said to the little boy. “We’re sorry.”
“Say you’re sorry to CJ too,” little Clark said.
“Sorry CJ,” Pete and Lana said to the little girl.
“I’m sorry Pete,” Lana said.
“I’m sorry Lana,” Pete said.
Lana reached for his hand and he gave it to her. They sat there for a long time just holding their children and holding each other.
“Do you think we’ll be okay?” Lana asked softly over the children’s heads.
“I don’t know.”
“You know we have to get this DNA test.”
He nodded.
That night Pete called and arranged for his friend Dr. Neil Parker to run the DNA test (he was actually the college friend that had set him up on a blind date with Lana). A day later Pete went to give his DNA sample on his own. Lana went in later that same day with CJ. Lex went in the next day. It was on the evening of the day Lex took his DNA test that Lana arrived at his Smallville home for there arranged meeting. Lana hadn’t been in Lex’s Mansion in a long time. The oddest things about the place was that it seemed so out of place in the small town. This towering castle of a place almost made you feel as if you’d left Smallville and entered some other world the second you stepped onto the property.
“I believe you owe me a cup of coffee,” Lex said as he met her in the hallway. She nodded and he led her to his den where they sat on a couch and shared a some coffee. Then she gave him some pictures of CJ, duplicates of ones she had at home.
“I suppose soon we’ll know the truth,” Lex said going through the pictures.
“Except we already know it,” Lana replied.
“That’s true. You know, I’ve had women of accusing me of being their children’s father before, this is just the first time I’ve actually believed it.”
Lana grinned a little, though she fought against this impulse with herself.
“Do you think Pete’s going to fight me on this,” Lex asked. “I mean, I’d rather not ruin your life with some public circus and that’s what it will turn into if he takes this too far.”
“I know,” Lana said. “But we’ve kind of accepted that when the DNA test proves who the father is we’ll have to adjust.”
They sat in silence for a few more moments. Then Lex put the pictures down and turned toward her.
“Does he really make you happy Lana?”
“What? Of course.”
“You don’t seem very happy,” Lex told her.
“Of course not, my life’s been in a tailspin lately. I mean, I betrayed him. He’s angry with me.”
“You weren’t happy then either, that night.”
“That had nothing to do with Pete,” Lana said. “I mean, you have no idea what it was like when little Clark was born, he was so sick and we were both–.”
“I don’t think this has anything to do with you son,” Lex said moving closer. “I think it has everything to do with Pete. He’s a good guy, but you don’t have a real connection.”
He touched her arm ever so gently and a shiver ran up her spine.
“Lana, you were meant for more than this. And you know it now, just as you knew it that night. A part of you wants more than can give, more than the simple life you have.” He caressed her arm and those feeling that surfaced in Gotham came rushing back with a vengeance. “Maybe all this has happened for a reason.”
He leaned forward, their lips met, and she melted beneath his kiss. Chloe had used the right word, Lex was ‘intoxicating’. So intoxicating she forgot the word no and lost herself in the moment. A part of her wanted nothing more than to stay lost in this moment, in all that was beautiful and right about it, as she had before. But then she caught a glimpse of the pictures she’d given Lex laying on the nearby table and for the first time seeing CJ reminded her of Pete and she pushed Lex away.
“I can’t,” Lana said.
“Lana, you shouldn’t stay in a marriage out of obligation.”
“It’s not obligation,” Lana said.
“Does he make you feel the way I do?”
“No,” Lana replied. “It’s not what I feel with you.” He leaned forward to kiss her again and she stopped him. “No, Lex I’ve always felt connected to you and I probably always will. You changed me in a lot of ways. I mean you were good to me, but you didn’t rescue me — you forced me to work for what I wanted, you challenged me and made me a better person. And I’ll always be grateful for that, but I never felt like your equal. Pete has become my best friend, before this we could share almost anything. And he makes me laugh, no more than that, he can make me laugh when I want to cry. And it’s not just him being there for me, he lets me be there for him. You think my relationship with Pete is about the simple things, but I want the simple things with Pete, I enjoy them, I like the dumb gifts that nobody understands but us. And I know if I manage to live into old age with him that we’ll still enjoy the simple things together and I want that.”
“So your saying you still love him?”
“I’m saying, despite what happened, I never stopped loving him,” she said to him. “I want to do the right thing when it comes to CJ, but I love Pete. I hurt him once and I can’t do it again.”
“Pete’s definitely a lucky man,” Lex said as he gently cupped her cheek. “We’ll always have Gotham.”
“Always,” Lana said looking over at the pictures of their child.
Lana came in late that night carrying a small package. The house was quiet when she arrived. She found Pete asleep in their room, still dressed in the suit he had wore that day. His arms were hooked around the two sleeping children beside him. CJ was laying on his right and little Clark on his left. After laying her package at the foot of the bed, she picked up one child at a time and carried them back to their room and tucked them in. Then she went back to the room and tried to wake up Pete.
“Pete, Pete,” Lana whispered.
“Hmm,” he said sleepily.
“You need to get undressed.”
“Where you been?” Pete asked groggily as his eyes opened.
“Out, I needed to clear my head,” Lana said. “And… I had coffee with Lex.” This revelations brought him fully awake. “It was just to give him some pictures of CJ.” She waited for the usual reaction, but no anger came this time.
“It’s really is my fault isn’t it?” Pete asked.
“What’s your fault?” Lana asked laying down on the bed beside him.
“I mean, you were right,” he said sitting up. “I did keep you in a bubble. I know you think my family is like this ideal group of people, but I’ve always been the low man on the totem pole. I wasn’t the smartest, that was my sister. All my brothers were these super athletes. And my best friend, I mean loved Clark, but I lived in his shadow too. The first girl I ever thought I could be serious about was in love with him and then I ended up marrying an ex-girlfriend of his. I was always second or third or fourth, but I was use to it. Then I had a son and he thought I was the most amazing person alive. I was the first and most important man in his life. I’ve always thought of myself as the guy behind the guy, but being a father made me think I could be the guy instead of the other guy. I didn’t want to share that, not with Peanut and not with CJ.”
“As long as you keep being the man that you are, you’ll be first with CJ, you are first with her”
“Until Luthor starts impressing her with all his fancy gifts.”
“She looked at you and said Dadda before she said anything else,” Lana told him. “And it’s not just her, you’re first with me too.”
“Am I?”
“I’m here aren’t I?”
“Because of me or our son?”
“You Pete. It wasn’t you who kept me in a bubble, it was me. I wanted to curled up into this safe life I created with you. I mean I thought, this is the end, I have it all. But I’m not dead, it’s not the end. I didn’t realize it when I gave it up, but I want something to work toward.”
“This is about you wanting a job.”
“This is about me wanting to want something, anything, that’s just mine.”
“That’s fine with me, I mean I never said–.”
“I know, I gave up my career, but at the time being a mother was my first priority, our son needed me. He still needs me of course, but not in the same way. I guess I felt a little lost and I didn’t know why I felt lost until recently.”
Lana reached over the side of the bed and grabbed the package she bought in and handed it to him.
“What’s this?”
“My first dumb gift. You’re always giving them to me, I thought I owed you one.”
Pete sat up and opened it. There was a stuffed brown bear inside the box.
“What’s this for?”
“Remember when we first started going out? I said you were my big teddy bear?”
“Yeah, I thought that meant I was your toy.”
“A teddy bear’s more than your toy, it’s your first friend and it can last you your whole life. I mean sooner or later you outgrow action figures or doll babies, but a teddy bear you can always keep close to your heart somewhere. No matter how old you get he’s always there for you. But only if you take care of him. I just realize I’ve been a little careless with mine. I want to chance to try and fix that.”
“Come here,” Pete said.
“No, you come here,” Lana said putting her hand under Pete’s chin. She pulled him close and gave him a small kiss.
“I love you,” he said.
“I know,” Lana replied.
Lana moved closer and began to kiss him again. Not soft delicate kisses, an intense passionate kiss, a kiss that they hadn’t shared since the truth came out about CJ. And they slipped away into a feeling they thought they’d lost.
*~~*
Lex entered Dr. Parker’s office five minutes after the Ross couple arrived. It seemed like just yesterday they had a fight about even taking this DNA test. In their hearts all of them knew what the results were, the test was just formality.
“Where’s Chloe Joanne?” Lex asked Lana.
“She and her brother are with the babysitter,” Lana said.
“I know you weren’t planning on speeding her out of here as soon as you got the results,” Pete told him.
“No, I wasn’t, but I would have liked to see her,” Lex said sitting down.
“Hello all,” Dr. Parker said entering the room with a large manila envelope. “Now all of you wanted to hear the results together so here we all are to hear them.”
Dr. Parker opened the envelope and Lana waited for the results that would change their lives forever.
“And the results clearly say, Alexander Luthor you are not the father of Chloe Joanne Ross,” Dr. Parker told him.
Somewhere around the word ‘not’ Lana’s mouth dropped open, her eyes widened in shock. She looked at Pete trying to communicate to him there was no one else as Dr. Parker continued on… “Peter Ross you are the father.”
“Oh, my god. He’s the father?” Lana said to herself. “You’re her father.” Lana said nearly in tears as she threw her arms around Pete.
Lex turned and left without saying a word. Lana noticed over Pete’s shoulder.
“I need to–,” Lana began. “I mean he was falling in love with the possibility.”
“Go ahead,” Pete said.
Lana got up and ran out in the hall.
“Lex,” Lana said. He stopped and she ran up to him. “I’m sorry about all this. I mean you believed and I believed, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I mean what kind of father would I be? Look at my example. If I’m just going to repeat Lionel Luthor’s mistakes, what’s the point?”
“Thank you for allowing us to clear this up. I’m really sorry about what happened between us.”
“I’m not,” Lex said. He reached up, touched her cheek, just for a moment, and then turned and left, but he left his warmth behind. A warmth that no longer trigger guilt. A warmth that was just okay to feel.
Meanwhile, in the doctor’s office Pete embraced his old friend Neil.
“Thank you for doing this, I can never repay you for saving my family.”
“I owed you, right,” Neil replied.
“But couldn’t you get in trouble for lying about the results of a DNA test?”
“Only if someone finds out,” Neil replied.
“So, tell me the truth, he’s the father isn’t he?”
“Yes,” Neil replied. “Your daughter is a Luthor.”
“Well thanks to you she never has to know that.”
Pete shook his friends hand one more time and left the office. For the first time in a long time, he was at peace with his life again.
Lex had returned to his Smallville home after leaving the doctor’s office. He wouldn’t be there long, he was due back in Metropolis before the end of the day, but he met Henry Cabbot for a drink. Henry Cabbot had come down just to hear that he had been right about the youngest Ross child and was shocked when he found out what the results were.
“So you’re back to Metropolis tomorrow?” Mr. Cabbot questioned. “Now that you’re free of fatherly duties.”
“Yes, I’m back to Metropolis even though I’m not free.”
“But you said…”
“I said the Doctor told us Pete Ross was the father. He told us that because Pete Ross told him to.”
“What?”
“Pete Ross had already fixed things with his old school buddy. I suspicious when he suggested him, I eventually I confirmed my suspicions. I know the real results. Chloe Joanne is my child.”
“What are you going to do?”
“For the moment, nothing or at least very little. See at first I was the villain and Lana was the one with the burden. We were the ones with the secrets, the ones who betrayed him. Lana was the one who would have be hurt in a custody battle. Now he’s the one with the secret, he’s the liar and he’s vulnerable because of that,” Lex told him. “And I suspect, that after things settle he’ll be back on the campaign trail.”
“But… you’re not involved with it.”
“Well, maybe not in a way he knows about,” Lex told Henry Cabbot. “At any rate I can guarantee two things, one Pete Ross has dug his own grave with my daughter, it only a matter of time before he falls in it. Two, Lana will resent him for it in the end. Believe me, they’ll both know I haven’t forgotten them and when the time is right, all will be revealed.”
CJ’s second birthday arrived before long and it was a much happier occasion than her first for Lana. She and Chloe sat watching CJ with Pete, who was helping her sort through the gifts.
“I can’t believe Lex wasn’t the father,” Chloe said. “We were both so sure.”
“I know, I’m starting to think I imagined the similarities between them,” Lana said.
Pete was handing a gift to CJ and suddenly stopped and gave her something else. He told little Clark to watch his sister and walked over to Lana with it in his hand.
“How did this get here?”
Lana looked at the gift. The label said ‘FROM: LEX; TO: CHLOE JOANNE’.
“He had it delivered Pete, it’s just a gift.”
“I don’t want him giving my daughter gifts.”
“Don’t be silly Pete, it doesn’t mean any more than, I don’t know, he hasn’t forgotten her. Just let her have it.”
He reluctantly went back to the party kids and let CJ open the gift. It was a small castle shaped music box. His first instinct was to throw it away, but he winded it up for Chloe. And every note of the music box cut the truth back into his heart. But then he shook it off. He had made everything right. No one would ever know CJ was a Luthor… Would they?
-THE END-
(feedback whore here, so anything you have to say I want to hear)
(Sept. 30, 2003)
