And then she kissed me

 

[July 2002]

Fandom: Smallville
Title: And then she kissed me
PenName: EV
Character(s):
Paring(s): Lana/Chloe
Rating: PG
Summary: Lana and Chloe (now H.S. juniors) go on a College tour together. Lana deals with long repressed feelings for Chloe.
Notes: 
Warning(s): This story is about f/f love, but it’s not graphic. However, if you re offended by tales of girl/girl love, stay away. thanks to Christine for giving me the helpful suggestions that helped improve the story.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters featured in the WB teen drama series Smallville. No copyright infringement intended.


Life would have been a whole lot easier if I had never met her or at least, if I had never gotten to know her in the smallest way. If I had followed the rules, if I had been a good little cheerleader, stayed with the “in crowd”, happily dated the latest hot jock. But I had taken a chance to be more, mostly because of her. I don’t know the first time I saw her, really saw her in that special way, maybe I wasn’t even looking at her at the time. A girl on the squad had just put down a copy of “The Torch” complaining that last weeks pep rally and her stunning split hadn’t been mentioned properly. So I picked it up and read what had been written. I was amazed by Chloe’s humor that day. I took school paper home with me that night and read it cover to cover, over and over. And the next day Chloe looked different to me, no worse or better, just different. It’s not really something I could explain, just a feeling. She was something unique in a sea of sameness. I was a pretty girl on the cheerleading squad, one more trophy on the arm of some jock, but she was unique and that was her beauty.

I’m surprised Whitney didn’t catch me staring at her laughing with Clark and Pete from across the cafeteria. But there were times when Whitney, as sweet as he was, was just clueless. In the end, that probably worked to my advantage. I admired Chloe, I wanted to know Chloe, I wanted to be with Chloe … and I couldn’t believe I’d had that last thought.

I guess I’ve grown use to the thought in the last couple years. We’re juniors now, different from the 15 year olds we were when I first began to analyze those things I felt. And yet we’re still the same in so many ways. Whitney still calls me. I keep hoping he’ll meet some other girl and that I’ll never have to face him with the words “I’ve moved on”. He wouldn’t understand who I’ve moved on to. He wouldn’t understand it’s her face I see in my dreams at night. How could he? I don’t understand it.

I tried to push it off as just a high school crush, the one I can’t talk about with anyone, but it’s hard to believe it’s been over two years since I took her words home with me and she’s never left me. Maybe a long time ago it was just a thought, a feeling that was different for this girl, a need to be close to her. Especially after my mother’s speech, actually hearing my mother speak to me at all outside my dreams was amazing and Chloe gave that to me. I’ve never really had a girl that was my friend, really my friend. I just haven’t found many worthy of being close to. . . and then there was Chloe.

And now here we are, side-by-side on a bus to Metropolis to check out Colleges. Somehow it worked out that Clark and Pete didn’t come. Not that I have anything against the guys. I love them in a way, they’re both sweet, but I was glad to have her to myself. It’s funny she still seems surprised when I gravitate toward her. I guess she always assumed it had something to do with Clark before, but Clark isn’t here. I see her glance at my other seating options, trying to figure out why my choice was her. However, she seems to welcome my company.

“You excited?” I asked sitting down. “You get to visit your old home.”

“Smallville’s my home, I’ve gotten use to that fact. The last time I visited Metropolis, I found out I have unfortunately been turned into a happy Smallville country bumpkin.”

“Is that what I am?”

“It doesn’t matter, you they’ll probably mistake for a super model,” Chloe said.

I kind of laughed to myself. I was mostly tired of being seen as the ‘beautiful girl’, but the thought that Chloe saw me as beautiful somehow made things different.

“I’d rather be seen as a country bumpkin,” I mumbled.

“What?” Chloe questioned.

“Nothing,” I replied.

Chloe studied my face. It made me nervous to have her looking at me that way. “What did you mean?” Chloe questioned.

“I don’t know, I just feel like sometimes, no matter what I do, that’s all people see. Either the fragile little girl in the fairy princess costume or the popular cheerleader, homecoming queen, blah blah blah. I should have just kept the pom poms.”

Chloe sighed. “A couple years ago I probably would have agreed, but now I know better. Would staying on the squad really have made you happy?” Chloe asked.

“I’m starting to find out I don’t know what makes me happy,” I replied. “I know what makes them happy, the homecoming queen. Even Clark…” I paused, not wanting to bring that particular name into the conversation. “I’m sorry, I know he’s your–”

“Clark’s a lot of things,” Chloe interrupted. “But sometimes, I don’t know, he seems like he’s not really there. So many things go on in his head, but he never really opens up. I don’t even know what we are most of the time.”

“I like Clark, it’s hard not to like Clark, he’s a total sweetheart. Still I’m kind of glad he’s not here,” I told her. I couldn’t believe I said it out loud.

Chloe didn’t respond, what could she really say that wouldn’t make the situation more awkward? I changed the subject by pulling out a Metropolis University flyer and talking about classes and majors. This kind of small talk made the trip much easier.

 

 

I had somewhat planned the bus trip, at least I had planned to sit with Chloe. I didn’t plan the room arrangements. But by some twist of fate, we were made roommates. And since we weren’t really close with anyone else who came along, I could see even she was happy about it. Maybe she wouldn’t be if she knew the bad bad thoughts in my mind. But were they bad, was I bad? Most people would think it was bad, but they didn’t matter, Chloe mattered. Would Chloe think it was bad? Or would she say she had been feeling the same way?

I didn’t really have much time to think about it. We were off on our first college tour minutes after putting our bags down. I was happy Chloe stuck pretty close to me. It was really easy not having the guys around, because there were no distractions from each other.

After walking around the campus our guide took us to eat in one of the Metropolis U. dinning halls. I volunteered to get the beverages and she bought some sandwiches. We met at the table.

“I fixed your coffee the way you like it,” I told her as I sat down.

She took a sip, “Perfect, thanks. How’d you know how I like it?”

“After that disaster with the job at the Beanery, I decided if I was going to run the Talon I would practice getting it right.” And I pay attention to everything you do.

Chloe smiled. “See you have talents yet to be discovered beyond pom poms.”

“Oh yeah, I learned to fix a good cup of coffee. That’s a world class talent.”

“Don’t underestimate that skill, especially when it comes to people like me,” Chloe said. “A skill like this could earn you your own personal slave.”

I smiled to myself as she took another sip. I tried not to think about all the things that could happen if she was my personal slave.

“So you going for business classes or anything, so you can run the Talon without Nell?”

“I don’t know. It’s like I stopped wearing the necklace all the time because I realized it was time to let go. But then I just grabbed onto the Talon. And now… now I don’t know. The Talon’s in Smallville. I don’t know if I want the rest of my life to be there with it. It must be great for you. You know what you want to do.”

“I guess,” Chloe said. “Except–” She stopped, as if she didn’t want to share to much more.

“Except what?”

“Sometimes I feel like it’s all I really have,” Chloe said. There was some reluctance in her voice as she spoke, as if she didn’t want to say it, but had to. “With Clark it’s like there’s always something he’s keeping from me and ever since Pete had that growth spurt he’s shot up to Whitney status on the football team. It’s like I lost him too. You, you found out cheerleading wasn’t for you, so you tried something else. But if I fail as a journalist, I lose everything I am.”

“I know you love your work Chloe and you are an amazing reporter. I mean, if I’m half as good anything as you are a journalist, I’d count myself quite successful. But it’s only a part of you, not all of you. There’s more there to love.” Did I say love?

“Don’t flatter me?” Chloe said.

“It’s not—”

I never got to finish. This guy came out of nowhere and threw his hands over Chloe’s eyes.

“Guess who?” the guy said.

“Mike?”

Mike had dirty blond hair and big blue eyes. He could have been considered cute, in a boyish way that is. He certainly didn’t look like the College sophomore Chloe would later explain that he was.

“How’d you know?” he said removing his hands.

“I always know you Mike?” Chloe said getting up and turning toward him. “I was hoping you would be here.”

She smiled that big gorgeous smile of hers and greeted him with a hug. She didn’t have to explain he was an old friend, probably from her Metropolis days, it was obvious in the way they spoke. I only picked up bits of conversation as they exchanged friendly chatter. All I could do was sit there pretending the pattern I was tracing on my napkin was actually interesting until it suddenly occurred to them I was sitting there.

“Who’s this?” Mike asked.

“Lana Lang, she’s a friend from school.”

She called me a friend?

“Hey,” he said.

“Hello,” I replied.

“You have a great look, I bet the camera loves you. Are you a model?”

It was exactly as Chloe had predicted on the bus, perhaps that’s why she rolled her eyes. I smiled, it was kind of sweet that he was flirting with me, but at the same time I wanted him gone. He was Chloe’s friend, so I decided to be polite.

“He is a photographer, so it’s not a line,” Chloe explained. “At least not totally. Though I’m sure he’s used it as a pick up line a couple times.”

“Still a cut up,” he said ruffling her hair , making it fly in all kind of wild directions. This didn’t make her to happy. I however, couldn’t help smiling to myself, a real smile, not a polite one. It was amazing Chloe still managed to look adorable with her hair tossed wildly about her head. She seemed less upset after he hugged her again. Still, she struggled to fix her hair. I sat there for a few indecisive moments before I acted.

“Let me,” I said hoping it didn’t come out wrong. I stood up behind her and ran my fingers through her wild hair. Touch, it’s an amazing sensation. And there was something intimate, maybe only in my own mind, about running my fingers through her hair. If only I let my hand roam lower, across that little spot on her neck that I dream about kissing. I stopped myself before I let my thoughts go any further.

“All done,” I said sitting down.

“Thanks,” she replied, barely looking in my direction as she and Mike continued talking about old times. They exchanged current numbers, just as we were about to leave. As we left, Chloe casually told me she and Mike had known each other a long time. She usually saw him when she came to visit Metropolis and kept in contact with him through e-mail.

 

 

As soon as we got back to our room, Chloe called him. They talked and laughed for a few minutes. She barely looked at me, even after she hung up. The connection we had been building at lunch slowly seemed to be fading.

“Did you two ever date?” I asked as she got off the phone.

“Mike and I?” Chloe asked perplexed. “No, never, Mike’s just a friend. Why?”

“No reason.”

“I thought you had fallen for that model line he threw at you.”

She was searching through her bags for something. I was convinced she forgot I was in the room. I didn’t know what I could do to make her see me and I knew the only chances I would probably get lay in this room.

I finally figured out she must have been looking for a different shirt because she took off the one she was wearing without a glance at me. As I sat there I visualized walking up to her, putting my hands on her bare back, kissing her spine and my hands moving around her waist to her pert little…

“Lana,” Chloe said as if she was repeating herself.

“Huh?” I said coming back into reality.

“Does this look okay?”

I knew she was only asking because I was there. I hope I hadn’t been staring to hard.

“It’s fine,” I replied. I would have said ‘fine’ to anything, I wasn’t really paying attention.

“It’s not that I’m trying to impress Mike,” she said talking more to herself than me, trying to convince herself that‘s not what it was about, because I could tell she was trying to impress Mike. “He tries to pretend he’s so sophisticated,” Chloe said. “And behind the camera he’s a genius. But otherwise he’s so immature. Always playing games, cracking jokes. You see what he did to my hair?”

“I thought it was kind of cute.” Did I say that out loud?

“What?”

“Nothing”

She let it go and went to get dressed. After she got dressed she looked at me for a few seconds as if sudden realizing I hadn’t moved since we’d gotten back. “Lana, you want to….you know….come hang with Mike. I’m sure he’d like–”

I didn’t care what he’d like. “That’s okay,” I said pulling out a book from my bag. I could tell by the way she was asking it was a pity invite and if she didn’t want me there, I didn’t want to be there.

“Okay,” Chloe said grabbing her jacket.

I laid down and began to read my book, aware of her leaving. Chloe wasn’t someone you looked at and saw clearly, but to know her was to love her. And to love her, to love her … I wondered how Clark could have let her slip through his fingers for so long. Clark was sweet, but much like Whitney he was sometimes so stupid.

 

 

I don’t know when she came back, I heard her, but I didn’t see her. She crashed on her bed, mumbling. The only thing I heard was “guys” and “idiots”. I glanced at my alarm clock, it was almost 2 in the morning. Chloe looked upset, but I didn’t want to disturb her and I probably wasn’t the type of girl she wanted to see in times like this…then again…

“Chloe,” I said sliding out of bed, my book dropping on the floor. She tried to turn her back to me. Why was I acting in direct opposition to logic?

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Lana Lang is asking me if I’m okay. No, I’m not okay. I’m sick of it. I try so hard to pretend I don’t want it, that I don’t want someone to look at me and see what they see when they see you. But I do, doesn’t everybody want to be someone’s fantasy?”

You’re my Fantasy. “Is this about Mike?”

“No it’s not about Mike, at least not just this Mike, it’s about all of them. I’d just like to be seen as beautiful once. Not fun, not good personality, not friend. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of –”

“I think you’re beautiful,” I blurted out. I couldn’t believe I said that out loud, I didn’t mean to. And when she looked at me, looked at me like I had just said the most insane thing in the world, I wanted to run. I guess I said it because I wanted her to talk to me and not to the room. Ever since we ran into Mike, she hadn’t spoken to me — she spoke to that person she always did, that person that was around. I was just someone she tolerated.

“What did you say?” she finally asked.

“I think you’re beautiful,” I said. ‘Shut up Lana Lang’ my logical mind said, but the words had made themselves known, so I kept talking. “I’ve thought it for a long time. I tried to fight it, but I’ve always had a little bit of a crush on you.” She was staring at me as if I turned into a Martian or something before her eyes. She was staring at me like she didn’t know me.

“Wow,” she said sitting down. I think a witty reply was beyond her.

“I’m sorry, I just made this situation really awkward.” I turned back toward my bed.

We didn’t speak for the rest of the night.

 

 

We had a weird second day as we checked out another College. We were near her cousin’s apartment, so as soon as our tour was done Chloe fled. She was back in the room before it was too late. I pretended to be sleep as she walked around getting ready for bed. It took everything in me not to even look at her. The fear of embarrassment is powerful.

“Lana,” she finally said.

I sat up, turned and looked at her. No use in pretending I’m sleep, she knows I’m not.

“Are you … you know … gay?”

I shrugged. “I like you, that‘s all I know …. Listen Chloe I don’t want.. I mean.”

“I never thought about it,” Chloe said. “I just never thought about it. I mean you’re you and I’m…I’m me. I mean even if … you and me. I just never thought about it and then today…”

“What?”

“It was all I could think about?”

Was that a good thing or a bad thing? I didn’t want to ask. I was scared then. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what she meant. This wasn’t the usual Chloe. She was falling over her words. I was falling over my words. Screw words, words were getting us nowhere, it was time for action. At this point what did it matter? It was like I was possessed as I got up and walked over to her. And then I just kissed her, full on the lips. She was shocked at first, I was shocked at first, but I couldn’t pull away and she didn’t pull away, she embraced me. We kissed gently at first, testing. Then harder, deeper, and I melted into the kiss in a way I never have before releasing 3 years of pent up teenage desire. Then without warning she pulled away.

“I’m sorry” I said.

Chloe didn’t say anything. Suddenly flushed with embarrassment again I started to walk away.

“Don’t be sorry,” she replied grabbing my arm. And then she kissed me.

 

 

THE END

Leave a Reply

Welcome
Welcome to RhondaWeasley.com. Dawn is a writer, theatre artist, and film maker. She loves to create and be a part of the creative. This is my webspace playground, for blogging, displaying my work, and general all-around fan fun.
My Social Networks
Brotherhood
My Online Portfolio