About a First Kiss

[October 2002]

Fandom: Birds of Prey (TV)
Title: About a First Kiss
Paring(s): Dinah/Helena
Rating: PG13
Summary: Dinah gets a chance to to bond with Helena and finds herself in an unexpected situation.
Warning(s): Female/Female intimate relationships explored in this fic. Find this uncomfortable? Well then it’s not for you.
Disclaimer: The Birds of Prey TV series belongs to the WB and some other people that aren’t me.

Dinah could hardly contain her excitement as Helena lead her up the steps to her apartment building. As she watched Helena look for the keys to unlock the door, she smiled. She had always wondered what her personal style would reflect, she wondered what books she read, what kind of artwork she had up, even what kind of magazines she read. She didn’t know what to expect. She wanted to know everything about Helena from the moment they met. Whenever she was near her, her stomach started doing back flips.

“It’s a good thing I came along. You are a creep magnet,” Helena told her. Talking more to the air than Dinah, as usual. “You need to learn how to handle yourself when it comes to the boys. Or you’re just going to end up in these kind of situations over and over again.”

“Well I’m not really good with boys or anyone for that matter. Especially when I like them, either they’re just looking to get one over on me or the more I like them, the more they seem to hate me.”

“Then with me it must have been love at first site,” Helena said, throwing her that sexy smile that could only belong to her.

The door swung open and Dinah saw … nothing. Well, not nothing, next to nothing. Helena had more clothes in Barbara’s closet than Barbara did, so she expected the apartment to be full of … something. She was a billionaire’s kid, even if she rejected it. But it was just bare necessities. A couch for sitting, a microwave, a refrigerator, a TV, and open door revealed a bedroom with basic white sheets. Everything was so … basic. The only thing that had any personality was her closet. And it was half empty. Most of her clothes were probably in the clocktower. She expected to find something here. Something that told her about Helena, the hidden Helena, but there was just this emptiness.

“You okay kid?” Helena asked as she closed the door behind her.

Dinah stood in the middle of the room looking around. “I don’t know, I just expected more.”

“More of of what?”

“I don’t know, things. The things that make us – us.”

Helena shrugged, “What’s the point of owning more than you can use? I can eat, I can sleep, I have everything I need in this apartment.”

“But what about the things you love?”

Helena laughed. “The one thing I loved more than anything on this planet is gone. What’s the point of anything else? Besides, I’m barely here anyway.”

Then Dinah realized her apartment did say something about her. The emptiness left by her mother’s death and her father being oblivious.

“Helena, it’s okay to love things, even little dumb insignificant things. A silly little figurine, a song, a piece of jewelry that has no value except it’s memory, a picture of some place you’ve never been and probably will never visit, a pet, a person.”

“You’re sweet kid. Tooo sweet,” Helena said walking up to her and putting a gentle hand on her cheek. It was a small connection, but it was a connection.

“That’s why the boys get over on you,” Helena said as her hand dropped and she walked across the room. “You’re just a big trusting ‘love me’ puppy dog. People see that and take advantage. It’s to bad you don’t have an active meta power.”

“What do you mean?”

“The whole “vision” thing. It’s nothing that can, you know, help you kick ass.”

“Maybe you could teach me a thing or two.”

Helena laughed. “Barbara’s your mentor, not me.”

“I notice you say that to her all the time,” Dinah said.


“You always try to distance yourself from connection with anyone. With Barbara, it’s ‘Batman’s your mentor, not mine.’ He’s your father Helena.”

“He’s a sperm donor Dinah. Was your mom a mother? Did she do anymore than donate half of your DNA.”

“I don’t know why she gave me up, but if she came to me, wanting to give me a chance, I wouldn’t deny her that.”

“Easy for you to say,” Helena scoffed. “When I was a kid, I had all these fantasies about the things I would do if I ever met my dad, the things I would say. When it finally happened, I didn’t say any of those things, I didn’t do any of those things. Everyone I ever met, be it someone who knew him as Batguy or Bruce Wayne thought I should be dancing on the ceiling. But that’s not the way I felt.” Helena stopped. “I didn’t know Bruce Wayne, but I asked him for one thing in my entire life and he couldn’t give it to me.” Helena paused and looked at her young charge. “We’ll just see how much you want to celebrate if Barbara digs up your parents. Speaking of Barbara, I should call her and tell her you’re here tonight.”

Dinah watched Helena on the phone. She had been let in, if only briefly. It gave her a small sliver of satisfaction. When Helena hung up, she cautiously walked up to Helena, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach and her own fear of being rejected from “personal” territory again.

“You know Helena, you’re a role model even if you don’t want it. I look up to you as much as I look up to anyone,” Dinah told her. “You’re everything I want to be, strong, independent, fiery, fun, kick ass … sexy.”

Helena’s eyebrow raised at that last comment. “Sexy? Are you hitting on me kid.”

“No of course not,” Dinah said stepping back slightly and silently cursing herself for opening her mouth *that* much.

“I must say this is the first time I’ve been hit on by a teenage girl,” Helena laughed to herself.

“I’m not – I mean.”

“Chill young one, I said it was the first time I was hit on by a *teenage* girl. Not the first time I’ve been hit on by a girl.”

Dinah was taken aback.

“Are you-” Dinah began confused. “What are you saying? Have you?”

“Have you?” Helena asked.

“No, never,” Dinah said.

“Have you ever even kissed a guy?” Helena asked.

“I’ve never kissed anyone okay,” Dinah pointed out. “Nobody wanted to touch the town freak, unless she was a freak. And you know my new Gotham experience so far.”

“Dinah, Are you attracted to me?”

Blunt, to the point. Did she expect anything less?

“No, I just…like…admire you,” Dinah mumbled

“Have you ever thought about me at night or when your alone?”

“Maybe a few times,” Dinah admitted, though it felt like a lump from nowhere was jammed in her throat. “But it wasn’t like-” She couldn’t breath and she was slowly getting hot as Helena closed in on her.

“Have you ever…maybe…touched yourself thinking about me.”

“What…I don’t. Why are you?”

Helena shrugged. “I’m curious.”

“What do you mean by-?” Dinah asked.

Before she could finish, Helena’s lips were on her own and the heat, the butterflies, the lump in her throat, all exploded into something else. This feeling of wanting, wanting the woman’s lips on her own. Wanting her body so close that she could feel the other woman’s breast against her own. Letting her deepen the kiss, enticing her tongue into a dance it had never done before with anyone. And so many other things, things her mind couldn’t compute. When Helena stepped away, she thought her brain would never function on the higher levels again.

“Fantasy complete?” Helena asked.

‘Was Helena teasing her?’ Dinah asked herself. “What?” she finally managed to say.

“Is your little fantasy complete?”

“Why did-?” One day she would regain the ability to finish a sentence.

Helena shrugged. “Because I felt like it.”

“That’s it?”

“It was just a kiss.”

“It was my first kiss.”

“Was it bad?” Helena asked with a half smile.

‘Could it ever be bad with you?’ Dinah thought. “But – You feel something too, for me?”

Helena didn’t answer for a few seconds. “You’re a total pushover Dinah,” she finally said. “This is what I’m talking about. It’s going to get you hurt a thousand times. Just because someone gives you a little attention doesn’t mean they love you.”

“So you’re just teaching me a lesson,” Dinah said as tears appeared, her heart felt like it had been ripped from her chest. “I thought you didn’t want to be a mentor.”


“Forget it, I’m going home-”

“Dinah,” Helena called again.

Before she reached the doorknob Helena was in front of her.

“Kid, I really don’t hate you. But you’re a kid.”

“I’m sixteen”

“Sixteen, you should have known me at sixteen, I was different. The last thing I need is little sister to look out for.”

“I don’t want to be your sister. I want to be your partner.”

“I know,” Helena said brushing a strand of hair behind the girls ear and putting a hand to her cheek. “That’s what scares me.” It was one of those rare gentle moments when she knew there was more to Helena than what was on the surface. “And the answer’s yes.”


“Less than ten minutes ago, I believe you were asking me if I ever-”

“Oh,” she said feeling suddenly stupid.

“What happened?”

“She was older than me, she out grew me, she left me, like everyone does eventually.”

“I won’t leave you,” Dinah said.

“You don’t know that.”

“Maybe not, but now I know this,” Dinah said.

And this time, with a thousand butterflies in her stomach, she kissed Helena. The first time she had been barely aware of what was going on inside of her, but this time she savored the taste of the other woman. The simple feeling of Helena’s soft lips on her own. The smell of that sweet soap Helena used invading her nostrils. And the feeling of Helena taking control of the kiss again, flushing the younger girls body with a suddenly feeling she still couldn’t name.

There lips parted and they stared at each other.

“You’re a fast learner, but I won’t take your innocence kid,” Helena said gently. “And I don’t want you in any rush to lose it.”

Helena walked away and came back with a blanket. She laid the blanket on the couch.

“Get some rest, you have school tomorrow,” Helena told her. Then she disappeared into her room. But Dinah was at least left with the memory of the taste of Helena’s lips on her own. Her first kiss.


Oct. 29, 2002

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