RhondaWeasley.com

[November 2002]

Fandom: Birds of Prey (TV)
Title: After the Kiss…  
PenName:EV
Character(s):
Paring(s): Dinah/Helena (implied Barbara/Helena)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Set after the events of “About a first Kiss” Dinah seeks to define her relationship with Huntress and experiences another first in the journey.
Notes: The timeline is sometime after “Sins of the Mother”. Special thanks to Jaycee for providing me with a fine beta job.
Warning(s): Female/Female intimate relationships explored in this fic. Find this uncomfortable? Well then it’s not for you.
Disclaimer: The Birds of Prey TV series belongs to the WB and some other people that aren’t me.

Dinah didn’t know how to act after that first kiss, actually first two kisses to be accurate. She didn’t know what to say or if she should say anything. Helena seemed quite content not to say anything, to pretend it didn’t happen. Dinah went along with it for a little while. After all, it wasn’t exactly easy to bring up anything with Helena. But she wanted to know, she had to know, if it meant anything at all.

She thought about telling Barbara what happened, thought about it a million times. But then she thought Barbara wouldn’t understand. She wasn’t sure how she would feel about the whole same-sex thing. Barbara was probably open minded enough about it, but she would see the age difference. Not that it was that big a difference.

Dinah was given the opportunity to talk to her one weekend when Helena dropped into the Meta bar behind “No Man’s Land Collectables”. Gibson had just given Dinah a drink, root beer, when he got that excited look on his face that he always gets when Huntress enters a room. Dinah couldn’t help smiling herself.

“Do you like live here now?” Helena asked sitting beside her and ordering a drink from Gibson.

“I like it here. I like being around people like me.”

Helena shook her head.

“It’s not like you want to hang out with me,” Dinah told her.

“We see each other all the time Dinah.”

“At the clocktower. And now training, but never…for, you know, fun.”

“You have your little school friends now.”

“I know,” Dinah said. “But there are some things they don’t understand.”

“Like what? You’re all teenage girls. What do you want, a meta-sleepover at my house?”

“Being over there… before… was pretty cool,” Dinah said her eyes darting toward the floor.

Helena smiled. One of those small smiles that reminded Dinah of a naughty child.

“I’m glad you enjoyed that,” Helena said. “But I told you that was the end of it. A little attention doesn’t mean–”

“I know,” Dinah replied. “I was just… wondering…”

“What? Wondering if we could fool around?”

“No, I just–”

“You want to know why?”

“I guess.”

“I was playing with you Dinah, that’s it. You were there and, I don’t know, sometimes I just do things for fun.” Helena said. “Maybe it’s a game I shouldn’t have been playing with you, considering you’re just a little girl.” It seemed more like a challenge then anything.

“I am not a little girl,” she said with determination.

“Okay, Dinah, you’re not a little girl. But you’re still a teenager, and it’s different now,” Helena said. “I was playing with you, because I didn’t really know you then. You just annoyed the hell out of me when you got here. For a long time now it’s just been me and Barbara and I didn’t want anyone else in that mix, I thought it would screw up everything. But–”

“But?” Dinah said a little hopeful.

“You fit now.”

Dinah smiled.

“And that’s why it will never happen again,” Helena told her seriously. “I’m going to get out of here.” Helena got up.

“You just got here,” Dinah said. “We can… you know… hang out.”

“No, we can’t,” Helena said. “See you Monday, unless, you know, something happens.”

Helena headed toward the door. Dinah followed closely behind.

“Helena,” Dinah called when they reached the pavement outside.

“What?” Helena said as she stopped and turned around.

“I fit? What does that mean?”

“I have to be the grown up Dinah, you’re kind of like family now,” Helena replied.

“You have to be the older sister?” Dinah questioned.

Helena shrugged.

“I told you I don’t want to be your sister,” Dinah said.

“And what do you want?” Helena questioned walking up to her. “Oh, that’s right? You want to be my partner. And what does that mean, little supergirl?”

“I– I don’t–”

Helena was standing so close, she couldn’t breathe, let alone think. What did it mean? She had never exactly planned what she was going to say. She just wanted to talk more about what happened. The incident wasn’t going away, even when she pushed it to the back of her mind, she’d dream of the gentle touch of Helena’s lips against her own. The rush of it, the power of the woman’s body against her own, the sexual energy caused whenever she got to close to–

Her thoughts were cut short as Helena claimed the her lips. Dinah had thought she would fall apart if Helena kissed her, but she didn’t. She was again reminded of the intense feeling of the other woman being so near her. The soft feel of her lips contrasting with the power of her touch. Her head was spinning when Helena pulled away. Their eyes remained locked in on each other. Dinah had again lost the ability for her brain to function on the higher levels. Her mind was her greatest weapon and it seemed to lose any special abilities it had when Helena kissed her.

“I thought– you said– it wouldn’t happen again,” Dinah managed to say.

“Right, I have to be the grown up,” she whispered running a finger across her lips. It was almost as if she was convincing herself, instead of Dinah. “I got to go, Dinah,” Helena said. She flashed that grin of hers as a comfort before touching her gently on the cheek and walking away. Was it real or had she played her for a fool again? Today, she needed to know more… today, not tomorrow.

————–

‘Why did I do that again?’ Helena thought as she flipped her TV on and sat down with the drink she’d just grabbed from the refrigerator. She had looked into those big eyes of Dinah’s, seen that innocence just begging to be ravaged, and she couldn’t help herself. But it was more than that, she’d seen herself. Her own eyes, looking up into another face, the face of an older woman, wanting things she couldn’t put into words at the time. As bad as she pretended to be when she was younger, it was mostly a front. She had always had a weak spot for one particular woman. She could hear the voices in her head, the memory of a conversation that seemed to have happened yesterday.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Kissing you.’

‘Helena, you can’t –’

‘Why?’

‘Your sixteen, you’re just a kid, your mother just died, you don’t know what you want.’

It wasn’t true, she knew exactly what she wanted, who she wanted, that day and for a long time after. Helena dismissed the memory. It was a long time ago, it was over. There was a knock at the door. Dinah – she didn’t need to open the door to know it was her. The girl couldn’t let it go. Helena opened the door and there was the teenager. Dinah’s mouth opened, but no words came out. Helena wondered if she had even thought it out what she was going to do at this point. But she had been Dinah before, she knew how hard it was to find the words.

“You coming in?” Helena asked.

She nodded and came in. “Helena, I–”

“Shh,” Helena said putting a finger to her lips. “You don’t have to say anything.”

She tipped Dinah’s head and looked at those delicious young lips and then to her trusting eyes. It was hard to resist that innocent face. She kissed her gently, once, twice, a gentle kiss on the side of Dinah’s mouth, a path traced across her neck, a tease to her ear that caused a little gasp. Then Helena was kissing her lips again and Dinah was meeting her kiss and melting into her. She may have not known what to say with her mouth, but she sure knew how to kiss with it. There lips were familiar now, they knew each other and responded accordingly. Dinah’s kiss said all the things her words couldn’t and Helena wanted to say yes to it all.

The problem was, things were different now. She wasn’t just some kid, just some teenage girl, some random young woman, she was Dinah now. She didn’t know when the change had happened, when she actually stopped just dealing with the fact Dinah was around and actually started to like it. All she knew was actually caring about the girl on some level made things different. And now the question was running through her head. How far should she let this go?

———-
Morning…

Dinah yawned and rubbed her eyes. Where was she? Helena’s bed. She’d slept in her bed? It hadn’t been a dream, she and Helena had slept in the same bed. She’d let her stay, she’d held her for at least part of the night. But now she was in bed alone. She sat up and saw Helena, her back was turned. She was on the phone standing by the window a short distance from the bed.

“She’s fine,” Helena said on the phone. “I just didn’t think to call you…It was a weekend, she was with me, she was okay…You’ll see her in school today…okay…okay…Bye ‘Mom’.” There was a slight sarcasm surrounding the word ‘Mom’.

Helena hung up and turned toward the bed.

“Hi,” Dinah said unable to think of anything else.

“You need to get ready,” Helena told her. “I’m taking a shower. You coming?”

“A… A shower… with you?”

“Why waste water?” Helena shrugged. “Unless you’re not mature enough to handle it.” Dinah heard the challenge, the tease, the dare… just like earlier when she called her a little girl. Was this a test?

“Of course I am…I just don’t have anything to change into,” Dinah said. They were both still wearing the same clothes from the night before, the clothes they had slept in.

“We’ll find you something,” Helena told her. She headed into the bathroom.

Dinah wasn’t sure if she was ready to shower with Helena, but she didn’t want her to think she couldn’t handle it. She took a deep breath before she slid off the bed and went into the bathroom.

When Dinah entered the bathroom, Helena was already stripped down to her panties and the water in the shower was running. Dinah had never actually seen anyone but herself naked and she’d never really looked at herself. She always felt silly looking in the mirror. But she couldn’t take her eyes off Helena, that lean body held so much hidden strength, and it was beautiful too. Then Helena looked at her and she tore her eyes away.

“Dinah,” Helena said, causing her to look at her again, but she focused hard on Helena’s face. “You getting in or not?” Helena said as she stood up and put her hands in the waistband of her panties and pulled them down. Dinah turned around and began to undress, not wanting to stare too much. ‘Mature, be mature,’ she told herself. Still, there was some anxiety about revealing herself completely. At least in the physical sense. What if she didn’t like her body?

Despite this, she stepped into the shower, her back to Helena’s back, resisting the urge to look at the other woman’s body, instead staring at the shower wall.

“Wash my back and I’ll wash yours,” Helena said seductively, turning around and leaning in so close Dinah could feel the other woman’s nipples on her back. Either that or she was imagining things. Either way, there was a jolt she was sure Helena noticed. Was this just a tease? ‘Be mature, Dinah,’ she told herself again.

She took the washcloth and soap and turned toward Helena. She cautiously began to wash the other woman’s back, stopping before reaching the lower part of Helena’s body.

“Keep going, if you don’t mind that is.”

Dinah was getting hot all over and she knew it wasn’t just the hot water. She nervously traveled to the firm butt cheeks. Her mind wandered, she saw herself cupping Helena’s butt in her hands, touching her without the cloth as a barrier, moving from her back to her front, caressing her breast. And that’s when she seem to act without thinking, move beyond the cloth barrier and touching Helena’s skin with her hand. But then reality came back and her hand jumped away.

“All clean?” Helena asked turning toward her.

Dinah didn’t think she could talk, so she nodded.

“Now you,” Helena said. “Turn around.”

Dinah turned. Helena swept her hair out of the way, kissed her neck and down her spine. “You’re a beautiful girl, do you know that?” Helena said running her hands over Dinah’s body along with the wash cloth. Dinah never replied. It was like she’d lost every word in her head. Helena started washing her back, but didn’t stop there. She traveled across her butt and down her legs. Then she turned her around front, continued to wash between legs, her thighs, everywhere. Sometimes leaving a kiss where she touched. She kissed her belly, and teased her bellybutton. She couldn’t remember all the places Helena left kisses if she tried, but she wondered how she remained standing. Whenever Helena’s lips touched her, she shivered, her legs seeming to become weaker with each caress, but somehow they still held her body up.

“All done,” Helena finally said and kissed her on the lips again, briefly but deeply. She wanted more, she hoped for more, but she didn’t ask for it and Helena just stepped out of the shower.

“You getting out?” Helena asked as she grabbed a towel and began to dry herself.

“Give me a minute.” Dinah said after a moment as she leaned against the shower wall. It was the first thing she’d said, really, since entering the bathroom. She was hardly able to breathe. She felt all built up inside and in need of a release. Was Helena trying to drive her crazy? If she closed her eyes, she could remember Helena’s lips on her skin, so close to intimate places.

One hand caressed her own breast as the other traveled down to her pussy. Having been taught the proper words for things at a young age, that particular word for it had never crossed her mind or lips, but now it was exactly what she called it. She needed self-gratification. She had only tried it once in her life, out of the simple curiosity of wanting to know what it felt like, and she’d felt silly doing it. But her whole body was hot right now, like it wanted to be touched there. It didn’t take much manipulation to find a quick way to satisfaction.

———-

Helena could hardly believe what she had done. She had invited Dinah into the shower? What was she thinking? Was her brain on a permanent vacation? If Barbara found out… Damn, it had taken everything in her not to take her willing prey right then and there. She came close at several moments, the girl was hers – she knew that – she would have let Helena do anything to her – she trusted her completely. That scared her more than anything. Besides that, Helena resisted, because of Barbara, because she wouldn’t approve. Of course, she wouldn’t approve of an intimate shower together either, but so far she could say nothing really happened and be telling the truth. Helena had teased Dinah, she had tasted her, but she hadn’t fucked her. She’d always been a person to see how close she could get to bending the rules before she broke them. But sometimes, things did break, and sometimes you couldn’t resist stepping over the line. Still, she had to keep control of this situation and she would. She grabbed some sweats from the drawer, left them on the bed for Dinah, and went seeking her own release for the built up tension far away from the girl.


————–
Later That Day

Helena sat across from Barbara’s desk at Gotham City High School, feeling like a high school student again inside the small classroom. Unfortunately, none of her teachers had been as beautiful or as interesting as Barbara. If they had been, she might have been more inclined to pay attention. Not that she was ever a bad student when it came to getting the grades, but she pissed off quite a few teachers in her day. If she were one of Barbara’s students she’d show off just so she’d have to stay after school with Miss Gordon. Then she could be properly punished for being a bad girl. She smiled at her own naughty thoughts. Barbara hardly noticed; she was eating the lunch she’d left behind that morning. Barbara called and asked Helena to bring it in for her. She planned to drop the lunch off and leave, but Barbara had asked her to stay a minute. Helena was kind of afraid Barbara had somehow discovered what went on last night, what had happened this morning. So she got as far away from the subject as possible.

“So when do I get to meet this Wade guy with the asshole parents?” Helena asked.

“Don’t judge Wade by his parents. He’s a really sweet guy,” Barbara replied.

“In other words, boring.”

“No, he’s quite intelligent and–”

“Safe,” Helena finished. “You need to learn to take some chances in your personal life.”

“Dating at all is taking a chance, considering what we do,” Barbara told her. “And we need to talk about Dinah, not the guy I’m dating.”

Helena froze. “What about her?”

“I want to thank you. She’s been trying to get closer to you since the day she got here, and you finally seem to be opening up to her. Like a big sister.”

“Big sister, right,” Helena said quietly.

“It’s not a bad thing that you two are connecting. You don’t have to be afraid of it,” Barbara told her.

Helena wondered if she would say that if she knew about the details of last night and this morning. They were interrupted when a guy Helena didn’t know stepped into the room. He looked shocked to see Helena sitting there.

“Oh, sorry,” the guy said.

“Wade?” Helena questioned.

“Yes, and you are?”

“Leaving,” Helena said as she got up.

“That’s Helena,” Barbara said as she slipped out the door.

Helena didn’t catch what Wade said as the classroom door shut behind her. The halls were familiar, but high school seemed like a thousand years ago now. The bell rang and the hall flooded with students.

“Helena,” she heard a familiar voice call just as she reached the front door.

Helena turned and saw Dinah. She was still wearing the clothes Helena had left for her, a reminder of that morning — the shower. Dinah parted company with the girls she was walking with and came over to Helena.

“What are you doing here?” Dinah asked, excited. Obviously the girl thought she had come to see her.

“Came to see Barbara,” Helena replied bluntly.

“Oh,” Dinah said, sounding disappointed. “So, can I come by tonight?”

“No, have you forgotten?” Helena asked. “Training this evening.”

“Oh yeah,” Dinah said with relief. “Uh, then I guess I’ll see you later.” She smiled.

There was no denying the girl was adorable, but young. Not just in age, but in everything she was. It wasn’t like when Helena was 16. She was mature for her age, people always assumed she was older. Dinah, she could easily be 14. It couldn’t happen again between them.


————
Later That Day


Dinah didn’t know why she expected Helena to take it easy on her when she walked into the training room that day, but she quickly found out that wasn’t the case. Helena seemed to be pushing her harder than she ever had. Dinah had recently taken a certain thrill in her telekinetic abilities, the only meta-weapon she had that was any use against Helena, but Helena didn’t let her concentrate enough to use it. She knew not to get distracted now. Barbara had been working with Dinah on control techniques so triggering this new gift wouldn’t just been a result of stress or random accident, but it still took a certain amount of concentration to really control it.

“Don’t let your new toy become a crutch,” Helena said as she flipped the girl on her back. “It’s a nice bonus, but it’s not all you have.”

Helena helped her up.

“Alright,” Dinah said, getting on her feet, thinking the lesson was over. Dinah reached for a bottle of water and suddenly sensed something coming. She turned and blocked Helena’s incoming punch.

“Better,” Helena told her. “But I could have hit you if I wanted.”

“Where do I stand, really?”

“If another asshole tries to rape you, you could probably kick his ass. If you see an everyday purse snatcher, you could probably kick his ass. Anything more than that, you’ll probably get your ass kicked.”

Dinah smiled and moved forward, touching Helena’s lips gently with her own. No response.

“We can’t do that anymore kid,” Helena said, pushing her away.

Dinah groaned. “Please don’t call me that anymore.”

“What, ‘kid’?”

“Yeah. You’re not that much older than me. I mean, I slept in your bed last night!” Dinah said, yelling slightly in desperation.

“Don’t go shouting that out, okay,” Helena said.

“I guess you want me to keep the shower a secret too.”

“Dinah, I told you…”

“What? You were just playing with me some more? Well, do me a favor, don’t,” Dinah told her, throwing a water bottle at her. “It’s not fun anymore.”

Dinah marched out the door and felt it slam behind her. She hadn’t touched the door, so she figured it was an emotional trigger of her new telekinetic abilities. Dinah couldn’t believe she was foolish enough to actually think there could be anything there, anything more than Helena toying with her—again. She felt as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest. Why did she even try? Helena just saw her as a kid. ‘Kid’ — she wasn’t a kid this morning in the shower. She was a young woman, a young woman with a beautiful body–isn’t that what she said–unless Helena was just playing then, too.

“Dinah,” Barbara called as she passed her on her way to her room. “Helena, what did you do?” she heard Barbara ask.

Dinah slammed and locked her bedroom door. She crawled into her bed and realized she was still wearing Helena’s sweats. The one’s Helena had left for her that morning. She jumped out of bed and ripped them off, then threw on a nightgown. Unfortunately, it had a puppy on it, which didn’t make her feel any better about being called a kid. At least it wasn’t Helena’s clothes.

“Dinah,” she heard, along with a gentle tap on the door. It was Barbara.

“What?” Dinah replied.

“Let me in.”

Dinah focused on the lock and got it to turn. Barbara opened the door and came over to the bed. Dinah’s head was partially buried in the pillow, hair hiding some of her face. Barbara brushed back her hair and leaned forward in her chair. She had a touch that could almost make you forget how torn up you were inside. She looked down at with concern in her eyes.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Dinah said.

“Helena must have done something to make you this angry.”

She wanted to tell Barbara, wanted to spill everything and couldn’t. The last thing she needed right now was to feel like some innocent young victim of Helena. When Barbara looked at her, she saw a kid too. And she knew Barbara’s mother hen reflex would kick in if she knew the truth.

“I just… want Helena… to see me as her equal.”

“Well she has been fighting alone for a while, and she does have more experience…”

“I know why she’s so hard on me when we train, she has to be. But in general she still treats me like a baby.”

“Dinah, that may just be a defense mechanism. Helena doesn’t like people to get to close, so sometimes she–”

The loud alarm of her Delphi alert system interrupted whatever she was going to say. Both Dinah and Barbara responded like trained monkeys, heading to the main floor where Huntress already was waiting, out of her sweats and in one of the black leather outfits she favored for crime fighting.

She looked at Dinah briefly, and Dinah remembered she was wearing the puppy dog nightgown. ‘Great way to prove how mature you are,’ Dinah thought. But the focus wasn’t on her very long, Barbara was at the computer running off the details of the latest alert and they stood silently on either side listening. But Dinah couldn’t help glancing over, wondering. Did Helena even care about the things that had happened the night before? It didn’t matter, once her mission was given, she was gone.



——————-
Later That Night

Dinah couldn’t sleep. She waited until she heard Barbara heading toward her bedroom before she escaped her own. Dinah stood outside the clocktower, looking down at New Gotham, wondering if Huntress was still out there prowling the night. It had been several hours since the Delphi alert, and Barbara had told her to get some sleep because she had school tomorrow.

“You ripped my clothes, you know,” Helena said from behind.

Okay, she wasn’t out there. Dinah turned toward her.

“Sorry, I just wanted them off of me,” Dinah told her. “But that’s what happens when you let kids play in your clothes.”

“Dinah, I’m sorry you’re upset. But you are a kid compared to me. When I was your age, after my mother died, I had to grow up fast–”

“Helena, you think you have the market cornered on maturity because of that? Just because you walk around with an attitude all the time doesn’t mean you’re the only person who’s ever been hurt, and it doesn’t make you more mature for your age. At least you had your mother in your life, to support you, to guide you, for most of it, if not all of it. And then you had Barbara. Me, I had a foster mother and father who made me kneel on a broom all day and beg for forgiveness from God because I predicted a little boy’s death. I was already having nightmares about it, and then they had to add that I must have been possessed by demons.” Dinah started tearing up, but tried to resist crying. “Do you know what that felt like? I was a nine year old kid. I believed them, I thought I was evil. So I did everything to be good, to be perfect. I was afraid to close my eyes at night because I might have another dream that came true. Every time I saw a shadow, I thought the demons would come for me again. They actually took me to a priest and had me exorcised, do you have any idea how–” Her voice cracked. She was unable to continue, the tears were streaming down her face now. “Shit,” she muttered.

Helena had never heard her use that word. Dinah could see the shock registered on her face.

“Come here,” Helena said.

“Don’t baby me,” Dinah said, crossing her arms in front of her.

“I’m not babying you,” Helena said. “Come here.”

Dinah stepped forward and Helena pulled her into her arms. Dinah wrapped her arms around Helena and she kissed her forehead.

“What’s that for?” Dinah asked.

“Because I felt like it,” Helena said.

Dinah took a chance again, and met the other woman’s lips with her own. This time, Helena did respond. It was different, for the first time it seemed like Helena wasn’t trying to take control of the moment, she just let it happen. Dinah wished she could hold onto this particular feeling forever.

“We could go to my room,” Dinah offered as their lips parted.

“No, we can’t.”

“Why?”

“We just can’t. Not here.”

“What’s wrong with here?” Dinah asked. “Is it Barbara?”

There was a long silence. “We’ll talk about it later okay,” Helena told her. “Just not right now.”

“Okay,” Dinah said.

Dinah walked Helena inside to the elevator.

“Can I tell you something before you go?” Dinah asked

“What?”

“In the shower this morning, I wanted you, but I was afraid to say it,” Dinah told her. “I’m not afraid anymore. I want you Helena, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in my life.”

“Even being a superhero?” Helena asked, an amused twinkle in her eyes.

“Doesn’t compare in the least. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Helena gave her a short good-bye kiss and stepped into the elevator. Dinah watched as the doors close, and then headed towards her room.

But there was something neither of them knew. Barbara wasn’t asleep.

————–
Morning

The final bell rang at New Gotham High School, and Dinah headed down to Barbara’s classroom. That morning, Barbara had seemed a little distant and preoccupied. She hadn’t said anything about it because she was on her own personal high; she really believed things had taken a good turn with Helena last night.

“Barbara, you ready to go?” Dinah questioned as she entered the classroom. “Or do you have stuff to do?”

“Well, I do have ‘stuff’ to do, but I’m glad you’re here. I need to talk to you.”

“About?” Dinah asked, leaning forward on Barbara’s desk.

“Helena. What did you really fight about yesterday?”

“Why are you asking?” Dinah said, slightly nervous.

“Well, you seem to be in a much better mood today, and I was just wondering about the change.”

“You know how we girls are,” Dinah said with a smile. “We fight, we make-up.”

“And what about that night you spent at Helena’s?”

“We hung out,” Dinah said. “What’s up with the inquisition?”

“Dinah, I’m glad you and Helena are getting along now. But I think that maybe you should spend less time together.”

“Why?”

“You have your whole life to be an adult. You only have one chance to be a–”

“Kid? Now you’re going to tell me I’m a kid. I like hanging out with Helena. You know she was a teenager herself not to long ago, and it’s not like I’m 12. There isn’t even 10 years between us.”

“There are things Helena can do because she’s an adult, and you can’t because you’re a minor. And I wonder how much of this is hero worship,” Barbara told her. “I love Helena, I’m sure you do to, but there are some parts of her example I don’t want you following.”

“I’m not going to get arrested and get sent to anger management. Anyway, I think it started out as hero worship,” Dinah told her. “But it’s different now. I mean she’s not just Huntress, kick ass superhero. She’s Helena.”

“Okay,” Barbara said, patting Dinah on the hand.

Suddenly Dinah was taken back, back to not that many years ago when Helena wasn’t much older than she was now. Her hair was longer. She was in sweats, in the training room with Barbara. Helena was kissing Barbara. She pulled her hand away and shock washed over her face.

“Dinah, did you see something?” Barbara asked.

“No,” Dinah lied. “I just, I remembered something I need to do.” Dinah backed out of the room. “Big History, Science, test thing. I need to go to the library.”

——————

Helena was delivering a drink to a woman from a guy across the bar when she saw her boss bringing over a young blond girl. Dinah, had she lied to get in again?

“Listen, Helena, I don’t want you to get in the habit of bringing minors in here, even if they are your sister,” he told her. “Understood?”

“Sure, won’t happen again,” Helena told him. She watched her boss walked away.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Helena asked. “If you want to prove to me you’re not a kid, you need to start thinking more.”

“Like you never lied to get into places when you were my age.”

“Maybe I did, doesn’t mean it’s okay for you.”

“I wouldn’t have come unless it was important. I had to know something. I went to your apartment, and then Gibson’s, and you weren’t there, and I couldn’t go back to the Barbara’s without answers.”

“What do you mean? What answers?”

“Is there anywhere we can talk?”

Dinah could see the other woman’s frustration level rising. This situation was obviously getting complicated again and Helena wasn’t in the mood to deal with it, but Dinah needed to know more about what she had seen.

“Give me a minute,” Helena told her.

Helena got someone to cover for her, then led Dinah to an office in the back of the bar.

“Okay, what’s the problem?”

“Did you and Barbara… Were you ever — more than friends?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“I read Barbara. I mean, you know, she touched me and I saw a memory,” Dinah told her. “It must have came to the surface because of the conversation we were having. I guess a lot of things would make sense if it were true.”

“You saw the kiss.”

“So it’s true?” Dinah asked.

“We weren’t lovers or anything,” Helena pointed out. “I kissed Barbara once. Like I said, sometimes I do things, for all kinds of reasons. After my mother died, I realized there were all these things I wanted to say to her that I never got to say. So after that, when ever I got it in my head to do something, I’d do it and to hell with the consequences.”

“And you were what … in love with Barbara?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. She cut it off right then and there. Told me I was young, I had just lost my mother, I just wanted to love someone, anyone. When I said it wasn’t about that, she all but told me I didn’t know what I was talking about or what I was feeling.” Helena laughed to herself. “I guess just about the same thing I did with you. She even told me she had to be the grown-up. God, I was almost quoting her word for word with you sometimes.”

“Are you … still in love with her?” Dinah was afraid to hear the answer to that, but she had to know.

“Honestly? She was kind of my first love, that never goes away Dinah. It’s a part of you forever. Barbara knew me when I read Teen Scene and spent evenings with my head attached to the phone talking about the latest high school gossip.” Helena rolled her eyes at her own immaturity. “God was I stupid then. Sometimes I think she’ll always see me as that kid, Batman’s kid, the little girl she discovered that he never knew about. Not ever Batman’s adult daughter, let alone a woman period.”

“I see that when I look at you,” Dinah told her. “A woman I mean.”

“I know,” Helena said.

“Is that how you see me?” Dinah asked meeting the other woman’s eyes with her own.

“Do I see you as a woman?”

“Yeah,” Dinah said. “Or do you still see me as that kid you found in the alley?”

Helena gave Dinah one of her naughty smiles and pulled her close. Then she leaned close to her ear. “You didn’t figure the answer to that out in the shower?” She whispered.

Dinah smiled to herself. Helena took Dinah’s face between her hands and gave her a deep kiss. One of those dominating, powerful kisses that claimed her and reminded her she belonged to the other woman, and it was the only place she ever wanted to belong.

————–

Dinah knew that Helena must have liked what she seen in the shower, or she wouldn’t have brought her back to her apartment. She wouldn’t have bothered with her at all. But still she couldn’t fight the fear that something about her, her age, her body, her inexperience, would make Helena change her mind.

“You sure about this Dinah?” Helena asked. Helena could see the nervous look on Dinah’s face as the apartment door shut behind them.

“I’m sure.” Dinah said. “It’s just… I hope I can… please you.” Dinah looked away. “Damn, I sound like a silly little kid again.”

“No, you don’t,” Helena assured her.

Helena turned Dinah’s face back toward her own. She gave Dinah a soft reassuring kiss and led her into the bedroom. Helena captured her lips again and some of the anxiety eased. This was where Dinah wanted to be, in this room, with this woman.

Helena slipped off the younger woman’s top and tossed it aside, then unhooked the bra and let it drop to the floor. Dinah covered herself up on instinct. In the shower she felt sort of masked from the world, hidden. This was more exposed.

“Don’t hide them, they’re beautiful,” Helena told her, moving her crossed arms. “I like the way they look, I like the way they feel.”

Then Helena began to caress her breast. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of having someone else… no, not just someone else, Helena, touching her breast. It felt good.

“Watch me,” Helena told her.

Dinah’s eyes opened to see Helena’s mouth licking one of her nipples. Feeling it was one thing, but seeing it too had her all heated up inside. Her mouth teased, tasted and sucked one breast and then the other. Dinah wondered what was supporting her, because her legs went weak beneath her. Then Helena’s lips returned to her lips briefly, before she removed her own top.

“See, just like yours,” Helena said caressing her own breast. She guided Dinah’s hand to her breast, leading her through her first touches, until she took some iniative and began to take control of her own caress. She wanted to give Helena the same feeling she’d given her and she wanted to know what it felt like. So she took her breast, licking around the already hard nipples and then sucking like a starving baby. She must have been doing something right, because Helena made this soft moan. Dinah found satisfaction in giving her this small pleasure.

Helena took control again, guiding Dinah’s head back to her lips. Then she began to loosen her pants. Dinah fought her fear of exposure as Helena kiss moved from her lips, to her shoulder, to her stomach and lower. She slipped away into the pleasure of this feeling as Helena slipped off the jeans and panties in one move.

“Beautiful,” Helena said as she ran her hands over the girl’s young virgin pussy. “And I see you’re a natural blonde.”

Then she laid Dinah on the bed and removed her own black leather pants. Dinah didn’t remove her eyes this time, she watched Helena free herself from her final confinement. Helena was completely bare down there.

“I like the way it feels shaved,” she said running her hands over it. “I want you to feel it,” she said climbing into the bed and taking Dinah’s hand. She took one of Dinah’s fingers and sucked on it slowly, seductively. Then she guide it to her wetness. “Feel how wet I am? That’s how hot you are, don’t be afraid of it.”

Helena captured her lips once more as her hands glided down Dinah’s young body. Then she began to travel down. Caressing her breast some\more, tasting and sucking for a\while before moving lower still. She trailed kissed down her belly, and Dinah braced herself for what was to come, but instead the lips moved to her thighs, taking a long time to savor each before moving close to her center.

“Please,” Dinah begged, so low she was sure Helena hadn’t heard her.

But she must have because her mouth finally reached it’s destination and Dinah was relieved to finally feel her there. She closed her eyes again, just to enjoy the sensation, her hands seemed to have a mind of their own, caressing her own breast. Then Helena’s lips were replaced by testing fingers as the other woman’s mouth met hers again.

“Do you trust me?” Helena whispered.

“Of course,” Dinah said looking up at her.

“You’re a virgin, so this is going to hurt, and you may bleed a little, but it will only be for a moment.” Helena said. “I’ll be gentle.”

Helena kissed her again before her hand began it’s journey again, slowly making it’s way inside of the younger woman. She didn’t want to stop here, but Dinah turned her head and braced herself. She could feel Helena’s reluctance to hurt her as she made her way inside and it comforted her more than she could say. This feeling relaxed her a bit. There was a horrible pressure more than pain. Helena kisses soothed her and the uncomfortable moment passed into pleasure as Helena moved her fingers inside of her. The waves of pleasure seem to move higher and higher. Her hips seem to take on a life of there own as they established there own movement in relationship with Helena’s movement. She felt like her whole body tightened inside before exploding into heaven. And she rode the waves down as Helena left kisses all over her body.

“Did I hurt you?” Helena asked holding her as Dinah traveled back to earth.

Dinah smiled at the concern in Helena’s voice. “Not so much,” Dinah replied. “And it was worth it. Can I do that for you?”

“I hope you will,” Helena replied.

They smiled at each other and kissed again. It was a good beginning, but hardly the end of their night. She spent the rest of the night in Helena’s bed, and this time they didn’t just sleep.

————–
Early Morning…

It was dark in the clocktower when two figures slipped in from the doorway that opened to the back staircase.

“Shh,” Helena said as they slipped inside. “I use to do this all the time. Just say you came in late and went straight to bed.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow,” Dinah replied.

“Wait,” Helena said, pulling the girl back for one more kiss.

And then the lights came on. And along with the room, Barbara was illuminated in the middle of it. The kiss broke immediately.

“Shit,” Helena mumbled.

“Dinah, go to your room.”

“Barbara, I can explain… “

“Go to your room!” Barbara yelled, sounding like a pissed off parent for the first time. “We’ll talk later.”

Despite Barbara’s tone, she couldn’t wipe the big grin off her face as she slipped off to her room. They both heard the door close behind her.

“I can’t believe you did this!” Barbara said.

“Did what?”

“Before I even get into the larger issue, I couldn’t contact you for hours, what if something happened?”

“Did the world end because I took a few hours off?”

“And I didn’t know where Dinah was. I’m responsible for her you know.”

“She was with me, she was safe. You don’t trust me anymore?”

“After seeing what I saw, no.” Barbara said. “Dinah is young and impressionable.”

“And you don’t want her to end up like me?” Helena asked.

“I don’t want her to feel she has to grow up fast. She has plenty of time to explore things when she’s older.”

“She’s not a baby Barbara, she’s at the age where you explore things.” Helena sighed. “You just don’t want her exploring them with me.”

“It’s not that–”

“You made this same mistake with me. Because I still needed a legal guardian, you thought I was some little girl. I wasn’t–”

“Helena, you were just attaching yourself to me because you had lost your mother. I couldn’t let the both of us do something just because we needed someone, and I couldn’t let you get yourself into something you couldn’t handle.”

“What couldn’t I handle? A relationship with someone older, a relationship with a woman, or a relationship with someone in a wheelchair.”

“A little of all of that. And it was just the wrong time.”

“You still think this is about my mother? It never was. You want to know when I fell in love with you? I was twelve.”

“Twelve?”

“You came to this school play, I was playing the nurse in Romeo and Juliet. My mother couldn’t make it, and I was really upset. Everyone was gushing over Juliet, and no one cared about me. But you came, you brought me flowers, you told me I looked beautiful, and you kissed me on my cheek. That little kiss on the cheek ruled my fantasies before I ever understood what I was feeling. You turned what could have been a horrible night into something that stayed with me forever. So I had feelings for you long before my mother died, and when I lost my mother, I realized how horrible regret was, and I took a chance at something I had felt for years. So maybe my mother’s death was a motivation, but it wasn’t a reason.”

“I didn’t know,” Barbara replied.

“I know you didn’t. I didn’t see the point in telling you when it was obvious you didn’t return my feelings. You drew the line, I respected it.”

There was a long silence as Barbara took a moment to take in what she had heard.

“I remember that day. I mean, I didn’t see you as much more than a little girl then, but I remember that day.” Barbara sighed. “Helena, It wasn’t that I saw you as a child, but I did see you as my responsibility. And it wasn’t just you, I was still redefining myself. It couldn’t happen.”

“It’s over now, it doesn’t matter,” Helena said.

“I still don’t think this relationship with Dinah is good for her. It told myself it was just a crush, it would pass. I never even considered that you might do this.” Barbara paused. “She’s going to fall in love with you Helena, if she hasn’t already. I don’t think you’re feeling this as intensely as she is right now. You’re her whole world, and you just have too many things going on inside to give that back to her.”

“I don’t care,” Dinah said, coming into the room.

“I thought I told you we’d talk later, Dinah,” Barbara said.

“I know Helena’s not perfect, neither am I,” Dinah said, closing in on the two women. “But I love her, I really love her. I’m willing to take all the good and bad. I can handle this Barbara. And I know what I want.”

“I know you do, I know how you feel right now.” Barbara said. “We all have a first love. But I don’t think this is going to last and it may destroy the relationship we have now.” She turned to Helena. “You know I’m right Helena. Talk to her.”

“I can’t say I know what I want, Dinah.” Helena told her.

“But tonight–” Dinah began.

“Tonight was great, tonight was amazing, but Barbara’s talking about tomorrow, and the day after. I can’t say I know I’m going to be there. But I don’t know if you or anything else is going to be here tomorrow. So until whenever, I want you as my partner.”

Dinah smiled widely. “So you don’t want to break this off?”

It was clear in Barbara’s face that she didn’t approve, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. Dinah ran into Helena’s arms, relieved, and held on tight. Helena returned her embrace. Barbara she didn’t know how to feel about this. It wasn’t hers and Helena’s past that weighed down her heart, she loved them both, and if they found something with each other it didn’t have to be a bad thing. She had always wanted Helena to take an interest in Dinah, it was the way it should be, one generation to the next. Still, she never imagined this would happen. Who knows, just maybe Dinah was the one Helena needed. But she wondered… would one save the other or would one destroy the other?


————–

11-12-2002