The Young Original Cindy Series
[July 2001]
Fandom: Dark Angel
Title: The Young Original Cindy Series
PenName: Empress Vader
Character(s):
Paring(s): Original Cindy/Diamond
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 15 year old Original Cindy meets Diamond and has the path of her life changed forever.
Notes: It’s hard to imagine OC as a shy, reserved, kid. But I tried.
Warning(s): There’s a PG rated lesbian relationship in this story. Spoilers for Shorties in Love
Disclaimer: This story is a fanwork based on characters featured on the TV series Dark Angel. A television series created by James Cameron and Charles H. Eglee.
First Love
They call her Original Cindy today, but in those days she was just little Cynthia McEachin. And Cynthia was in introverted girl. She had her friends and she was smart, everybody knew that. She was mostly liked and when she was 13 her friend Josie had set her up with a boy named Anthony that everybody called “Man”. She and Man were a couple through Middle School and into high school. It was just the way it was, everyone thought they would get married one day and have kids. Everyone was wrong.
By the time Cynthia reached High School, it was long since the days when the pulse hit and everyone had adjusted to life as is. She worked in the evenings delivering medicine for a local hospital, the pay wasn’t much, but it was enough to contribute to the family funds.
But no one knew Cynthia’s secret, mostly because she chose to ignore it. She tried not to think of it as what it was when she first fell for Keisha in middle school. She couldn’t explain it, she redirected her path to the lunch room just to see her everyday. She sat behind her in class, just enjoying the site of her, willing herself not to reach out and touch the caramel shoulder in front of her. She told herself that she admired the girl, but her subconscious knew it was more. The summer after, she and best friend Josie met Nicole. Nicole was the hottest girl Cynthia had ever met. She felt herself smiling everyday when they met up before going off to work at Nicole’s father’s struggling deli. Nicole was affectionate, she liked to hug everybody and laid all over her friends. She strutted around half dressed without modesty and with no apology. More than once, Cynthia found herself fleeing the room trying to calm herself down after her cheeks flushed from the contact of Nicole’s skin on her own.
Nicole was her big crush from the day she entered High school. It was the summer of her freshman year in high school that Diamond stepped into her life. Diamond was Josie’s cousin. After a failed attempt to straighten her out by her father she was sent to live with her aunt. Cynthia had been sitting in the living room with Josie and Nicole, listening to some old R&B hit and there she was coming though the door with Josie’s mom.
“Girls,” she said. “This is my niece. Diamond Latrel”
The girls all stared wide eyed at her. Josie was visibly ticked off with this arrangement.
“Mom,” Josie whined. “She’s not staying.”
“Only for a little while,” her mother said as Diamond dropped her bag on the floor.
“Stop whining Jay,” Diamond said to Josie as she flopped on a chair in-between Nicole and Cynthia. “Diamond don’t plan on kickin’ it here very long.”
“Well Diamond ain’t got much of a choice,” Josie’s mother said.
“So who’s these two cuties,” Diamond said with a smile. She was at least two years older than the three of them.
“Don’t even think about it Diamond,” Josie said with a growing fire in her eyes.
“Whatever Jay, I’ll introduce myself,” Diamond said. “Diamond Latrel,” she said putting her hand out to Nicole first.
“Nicole,” Nicole replied.
“And you,” Diamond said turning toward Cynthia.
“Cynthia,” Cynthia replied.
“Nikki and little Cindy,” Diamond said. “Cool. Despite what you’ve heard from Jay, Diamond does have a civilized bone in her body.”
She smiled and Cynthia was flushed with a sudden warmth. She liked Diamond right away, she didn’t know why.
“Diamond,” Josie’s mom called from the other room. “Bring your stuff in here.”
She got up from the chair and left the room.
“How come you never told us about your cousin Josie?” Nicole asked.
“She’s talked about her,” Cynthia replied.
“She’s a little different,” Josie told them.
“She has a nice smile,” Cynthia said. “Seems cool to me.”
“She likes girls,” Josie stated. Her two friends looked at her blankly, not registering her meaning. “I mean LIKES LIKES girls.”
“You mean — ” Nicole began. “She’s gay,” Nicole whispered.
“Yeah and on top of that she’s a thief, she’s loud, and –”
“We get it,” Nicole said. “You don’t like her.”
“Just trust me,” Josie said. “Both of you would be better off staying as far away from Diamond as possible, all she causes is trouble.”
“Josie,” her mother called from the other room.
“Be back,” Josie said getting up and leaving the room.
“What you think of Diamond,” Nicole said turning to Cynthia excited. Cynthia looked down where Nicole’s arm touched her own. She had to take a breath before she spoke.
“Seems cool,” Cynthia replied. “The way Josie use to talk about her I was expecting horns, a tail, and a pitchfork.”
Nicole laughed and fell on Cynthia. She sat completely still as the girl lounged across her lap and smiled up at her.
“Don’t tell Josie this, but you’re so much cooler than her.”
Cynthia smiled down at her. Then she looked up and saw Diamond looking at her from a doorway. Their eyes met. Diamond wore what seemed like a smirk for a second and then walked back into the other room.
Within a few weeks Diamond was the life of the neighborhood, everyone’s friend. Everyone knew her and everyone liked her, which upset Josie. Cynthia found herself hanging out on the stoop with Man just watching Diamond, amazed by her ability to pull people to her. She also found herself jealous because Nicole, without apology, was Diamonds new best friend. Josie wasn’t too happy about it either. She talked about them day in day out. It didn’t change Cynthia’s fascination with either of them. Diamond was everything she wanted to be, she was who she was, she didn’t ask for acceptance, only respect.
“Hey Man,” Diamond said coming over to Cynthia and Man where they sat on the stoop. She was bouncing a basketball. “You got any game? Diamond need some competition.”
“Don’t think you want to ball with me,” Man replied leaning back. He was one of the few people not to happy with Diamond.
“Whatever,” Diamond replied. “What about you Cindy?”
“Me,” Cindy said shocked.
“Yeah, you?”
“I couldn’t land a ball in a basket if I wanted too.”
“Sure you could,” Diamond said. “If you tried. Come on.”
Diamond grabbed Cynthia’s hand and pulled her up. She walked her up to the basket and tossed the ball to her. Cynthia nearly dropped it. Gripping the ball, she tossed it at the basket.
A bunch of boys behind her shouted “Air Ball” and laughed
“Don’t worry about them baby,” Man shouted from the steps. Diamond retrieved the ball and walked up to her.
“It’s all about form boo,” Diamond said dribbling the ball and sinking an impressive shot. She retrieved the ball again and walked up to her holding it.
“Come here,” she said. Cynthia walked up to her cautious. Diamond put the ball in her hand. Diamond was slightly taller than her and positioned herself behind Cynthia. She could feel Diamond, warm around her. It made her mind spin a little. She hardly heard the words leading up to, “Now try it.”
Cynthia tried again and missed again. But the ball actually hit the rim this time. The boys who had shouted “air ball” began to laugh and fell into laughter. Cynthia ignored them, because Diamond put an arm around her and looked back down at her with those warm brown eyes.
“We’re going to make you a player yet Cindy,” Diamond said.
There was just something about Diamond she couldn’t resist. Man came over to them, suddenly there was this angry look on his face.
“Come on Cynthia,” Man said. “I promised to buy you lunch.”
Cynthia walked away with Man, hand in hand, but she stared back at Diamond for a moment. Their eyes locked, Diamond smiled. She smiled back and walked off with Man.
The next day she closed her locker door and found Nicole waiting on the other side. Ever since becoming “friends” with Diamond she had turned into a wanna-be-bad girl. She wore one pants leg up and a bandanna on her head for some odd reason. And she spoke different too.
“What’s up?” Nicole said.
“Nothing,” Cynthia replied. No matter what, Nicole was still the most physically gorgeous girl she knew and she was struck speechless by her. She scared her and enthralled her all at once, and she didn’t know why.
“Why you pushin’ up on my gurl?” she whispered.
“Your girl?” Cynthia questioned confused. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Yeah,” Nicole said. “Come here. . .”
“It’s almost time for cl–” Cynthia began.
Nicole put a finger over her mouth as a symbol of silence. A involuntary sensation shot up her spine. She followed Nicole into the bathroom. Nicole perched herself in the window. Cynthia stood there, feeling silly as she gripped her books and attempted to focus on the word “class of 2005″ rules on the bathroom wall in front of her.
“I really like Diamond,” Nicole said.
“I do too,” Cynthia said quickly. “She’s nice.”
“Not like that,” Nicole said. “Unless you mean like that”
“Like what?”
“You know, my number one”
“Number one what?”
“Let’s not even start talking in circles,” Nicole said sliding down out of the window and facing Cynthia. All Cynthia could think at that point was how good Nicole smelled. “I want Diamond to be my girlfriend. From the moment I met her, we were feeling each other”
“Oh,” Cynthia replied shocked. “Well you don’t even have to worry about that with me.”
“She was hitting on you down at the court yesterday.”
“She was just showing me some moves,” Cynthia said.
“Man thought they were some interesting moves, they certainly bothered him.”
“Is that why you don’t hang out with me and Josie anymore?” Cynthia asked.
“Josie’s a bitch,” Nicole said.
All of a sudden they heard a door creek. They were suppose to be in class. They both jumped, but then saw it was Diamond. They breathed a temporary sigh of relief for after that moment, the uncomfortable feeling returned.
“Good little Cindy dropping out on class,” Diamond said with a smile.
“No, late for class,” she replied rushing toward the door. Diamond grabbed her arm on the way. She didn’t hurt her, just stopped her. They looked into each others eyes for a moment.
“Diamond just playin’ wit you,” Diamond said. “Chill awhile.”
“I can’t,” Cindy said.
And she continued out the door. But she didn’t go to class, she just went a floor up and into another bathroom. Then she sat on the floor and cried. But she didn’t understand why she was crying. Was it over Nicole, was it over Diamond, was it just her own mixed up feelings and those damn teenage hormones? Seeing as she started her cycle the next day, she guessed it must have been the last.
The next day she sat at home with Man, on her floor. They were playing a card game, she said she didn’t feel like going out. He leaned over the game and attempted to kiss her. She turned away from him.
“What’s wrong C?” he asked.
“Nothing, I just don’t feel like it,” Cynthia replied. She had never been very comfortable kissing Man and when she was depressed, she couldn’t even pretend. She told herself they were young and awkwardness was to be suspected.
“Tell me about it. Let me make it okay,” Man said.
“You can’t,” Cynthia said getting up. She grabbed her jacket and walked toward the door. “I need some chocolate.”
She ran out the door and walked down the street. She didn’t have any money for chocolate. It wasn’t exactly cheep anymore. But it was the first thing she could think of. She followed an old road to an abandoned bus station she use to play in with Josie. Josie, who had set her up with Man, her boyfriends best friend. She had already planned the perfect weddings, in her mind.
“The depression will be over,” she would say. “And we’ll have flowing white gowns and doves”. It all sounded so nice, on paper, in her dreams. But something always sounded wrong about it, felt wrong about it. She climbed into an old broken bus and sat in the back. That quickly, she heard a noise. It was Diamond.
“Are you following me?!” she snapped.
“Damn,” Diamond said. “I’m sorry. I saw you were a little upset and I followed you.”
She turned to leave.
“I’m sorry,” Cynthia said standing up. “Please, don’t leave. I need to talk to you.”
Diamond smiled and came to the back of the bus. She sat in front of Cynthia.
“What do you want to talk about?” Diamond asked.
“Nicole,” Cynthia said. “Are you two? You know, are you two? Um, do you have other feelings for each other besides friendship.”
“Why, you jealous?” Diamond teased.
“Are you kidding?” Cynthia said. “Of what?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at Nicole,” Diamond said. “I’m not stupid and you don’t have to lie with me.”
“Lie,” Cynthia said, standing up looking wounded. Diamond leaned over the seat in front of her.
“I know what it’s like kid,” Diamond told her.
“You don’t know anything about me,” Cynthia said.
“So that’s where we are, huh?” Diamond asked.
“We are nowhere. I have a boyfriend.”
“Diamond’s seen you and Man. You act more like good friends than lovers.”
“We’re 15,” Cynthia yelled. “We’re not suppose to be lovers.”
“Tell me something,” Diamond said walking up to Cindy. “Does he generate half the heat Nicole’s smile does. Does he invade your senses the way she does.”
“I’m 15,” she yelled again.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Diamond told her. “He doesn’t even generate the heat I do with you.”
Diamond walked up to her touched her face. Her hand slowly slid behind her neck. “You like a woman’s touch. Your body is giving you a message.”
Diamond leaned in like she was about to kiss her. And for a split second, Cynthia thought about letting it happen. But then she broke away Diamond grabbed her arm as she tried to flee.
“Yo, Boo, I’m sorry, it’s aiight,” Diamond said. Cynthia broke into tears and slid to the floor.
“I’m not like you,” Cynthia said.
“Diamond don’t want you to be her, she just want you to be you boo.” Diamond said. Cynthia fell into her arms and cried. She didn’t know why she felt they way she did. They sat on the back seat of the bus and she just laid there, on Diamond, crying for awhile. And again, she didn’t know exactly what she was crying for or why it made her feel better to have Diamond there. Diamond gently kissed her on the forehead and she felt true comfort. She fell asleep in Diamond’s arms.
She woke up the next day and found herself wrapped in Diamonds arms. As she awoke, so did Diamond. Diamond looked down at her with that warm smile. Some force overtook her, something she wasn’t yet ready to define, and she leaned into the other girl and touched her lips with her own. Diamond immediately respond without being to aggressive. She let Cindy lead. They teased and played with each others lips for a long time. Then suddenly she ended it and Cindy looked in Diamond eyes.
“You all right Boo?” Diamond asked.
“Maybe not,” Cynthia said getting up. Shocked at herself. “I gotta go.”
Diamond didn’t fight her at all. Cynthia slid out the seat and left the bus, she couldn’t breath all of sudden, but it was okay. It was the best kiss she had ever shared. It had all the mind spinning magic that you read about. It was so right. And it wasn’t even with the girl she had been fantasizing about for months. There had to be something wrong with her, wrong with it, but it felt so right.
Her mother was standing outside the door when she got home.
“Where have you been?” her mother said racing up to her. And there was this sudden shame.
Then her father came out. She looked at them – the man – the woman – the child. That was how things worked, it was the reason she existed, it was the reason everyone existed. How could she feel something that went completely against that formula. Did Diamond know the answer? Did it matter? She didn’t know if she could ever face Diamond, or Nicole for that matter, again.
She told her parents she had been hanging out with a friend and lost track of the time. It was partially the truth. They wanted to know the friends name. She almost said Diamond’s name, but then couldn’t speak. The name Diamond was on the tip of her tongue. And it was more that she didn’t want to remind herself, than the fact that she didn’t want to tell her parents. She told her she parents she wasn’t feeling too well and they let her stay home. She spent most of the day in bed, tossing and turning, trying not to think about that kiss. But it was still warm on her lips. She finally fell asleep and awoke to Diamond sitting on her floor playing solitaire.
“What are you doing here?” Cynthia said sitting up.
“Just wanted to see if you were all right boo,” Diamond said.
“Don’t call me that,” Cynthia said.
“You didn’t seem to mind last night.”
“All we did was kiss and it was a mistake.”
“Mistake?” Diamond scoffed. “You know what’s weird,” Diamond said standing up. “Diamond don’t know if you’re saying that for the usual reasons or because of Nicole.”
She walked over to the bed and sat down.
“Listen Boo, I’ll admit, Diamond’s a little sweet on you, but she’s also a bit older than you, just a little bit. She then had a gang of troubles that got nothin’ to do with you or this.” She took Cynthia’s hand in her own. “But I can tell you this. That Nicole ain’t worth it. If she’s what you want, go for it, but she’s going to break your heart.”
“I’m with Man,” Cynthia stated plainly.
“Well whichever way it go, Diamond be here when you get that head on right. You feel me?”
She looked at her for a long time, unsure how to answer that question. Diamond eyes, from the moment she met her, those eyes had enchanted her and they were doing it again.
“How’d you get in here?” Cynthia asked, changing the subject.
“Window,” she replied.
“Better go out that way,” Cynthia said.
“Aiight Cindy, but hear Diamond on this, life is too short not go ahead and feel Boo. You can go the safe way, but your never gonna truly feel the way you did last night.” Diamond leaned in close. “Friend or more, I’m here for you Boo.”
The bedroom door opened. Man stood there, looking at the two of them. Diamond looked at him, smiled a little cocky smile and stood up.
“Just checkin’ on my friend here,” Diamond said in reply to his yet-to-be-voiced question.
She patted Cynthia on the hand and left from the window.
“What’s up with dat?” he asked.
“Nothin’,” Cynthia quickly answered.
“Was she who you were with last night?” Man asked.
“Yes,” Cynthia answered immediately. It was a direct question, no reason to lie. “I was upset. She hung out with me and we talked.”
“Just talked?” Man said.
“What else would we do?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Man stated. “Cynthia, I’m not stupid. I see it.”
“See what? There is nothing to see.”
“You like her, you like the attention. And seeing as guys have never really, you know, chased after you. You may be thinking things that aren’t quite right.”
“What!” Cynthia exclaimed. Suddenly angrier than she ever had been. She jumped out of bed. “Who in the hell do you think you are? You think I’m so desperate for attention that I’d go running into the arms of the first girl who looks at me right way.”
“The right way?”
“That’s so stupid,” Cynthia continued, ignoring his comment. “I’m wondering if your brain took a temporary vacation today. Your not straight and then one day because the male gender isn’t giving you enough attention you do a complete 360 and decide you’re gay.”
“So you’re not gay?” Man questioned.
“Get out?” she ordered.
She pushed him out the door. She didn’t know where it all had come from. She didn’t know why she had shouted at him that way. But she smiled to herself. She had never felt so liberated, so free. She liked that feeling.
Cindy found herself outside Nicole’s door. She had done some soul searching in the last couple hours. It was time to face things as they stood. She knocked on the door and to her surprise Josie opened the door. She stepped out on the porch quickly.
“Cynthia,” Josie said in hushed silence. “Please tell me what I heard from Man ain’t true.”
“Huh,” Cindy said, a little surprised that Josie already knew about that argument.
“You and Man have been together since sixth grade,” Josie told her. “You are not a lesbian.”
“He told you I was lesbian?”
“He told me he caught Diamond in your room.” Josie sighed. “I can’t believe Diamond’s played with your mind and Nicole’s.”
“First of all, Diamond was in my room. But all she was doing was talking to me,” Cindy told her. “And Nicole never did a thing she didn’t want to do.”
“Diamond’s bad,” Josie said. “It isn’t even about her being gay. She’s been locked up before, in juvie.”
“But somehow it all comes back to her being gay, doesn’t it Josie?” Cindy told her. “Diamond’s real. She tells you who she is and what she’s about and she doesn’t care what you think.”
Cindy went past Josie and into the house. Nicole was sitting on the couch, her bad girl clothes gone, she wore a white dress and had her legs tucked under her as she sat on the floor. She stood up as Cindy came in the room.
“What’s up Cynthia?” she said.
“I have to know,” Cindy said. “What happened with you and Diamond?”
“Why?”
“Because I need to know.”
“We hung out,” Nicole said. “Nothing more.”
“Nothing else?”
“Diamond’s a bitch okay.”
Cindy was taken aback by this comment. She had said the same thing about Josie the other day and Josie was here today.
“I thought you liked her,” Cindy said.
“Maybe I did, maybe I was confused. I don’t know.” Nicole sighed. “She wants you.”
“I know,” Cindy replied. “But my mind has been on someone else for awhile. Before Diamond even came into our lives, I was into this person.”
“I know Man”
“No, not Man,” Cindy replied as she cautiously walked up to her. She took a deep breath and licked her lips more from nervousness than anything.
“Nicole,” Cindy said. “It was you. From the moment I met you, there were these feelings I wouldn’t face. Diamond opened my eyes.”
Nicole looked at her shocked. And Cindy leaned in and kiss her, briefly. Long enough to figure out there was no response.
“You’re a Dyke?” Nicole said shocked.
The word had never sounded so offensive, so derogatory, so insulting and nasty.
“If I am, what does that make you?”
“I like guys,” Nicole said. “I was just curious about Diamond. And when people were staying stuff about you and her, I didn’t buy it. You’re so, you know, sweet and quiet almost.”
“What does that have to do with how I feel?”
“I don’t feel that way,” Nicole said. “I mean — I’m sorry. Diamond was like a little adventure. I tried to kiss her and she liked rejected me and I don’t know, I was out to prove something or something.”
Cindy did her best not to break into tears. She had embarrassed herself. Diamond had warned her about Nicole and she hadn’t listened. She ran from the house and the tears broke free.
She didn’t know where else to go, she went back to the bus station. Amazingly, Diamond was there with a bunch of guys. Her eyes met Diamond’s briefly before she turned to leave.
“Cindy, wait, what’s wrong Boo?” she called out to her.
Cindy froze with her back to the group.
“Diamond check you boys later,” Diamond said giving them all a parting dap. “I got to talk to my gurl here.”
Diamond walked up to Cindy. She put her arm around her and walked out of the bus station.
“What’s wrong boo?” Diamond said as they walked.
“Nicole,” Cindy said. “I was so stupid. I kissed her.”
“And she wasn’t into it.”
“I don’t understand. How could she like you and not like me.”
“I don’t understand it either. Don’t pretend to. I mean life would be a lot easier if everybody was straight and everything amounted to a neat little formula. But it don’t, life’s never been easy, no matter what you dealin’ in.” Diamond sighed. “It takes all kinds to make a world. Perhaps Nicole ain’t as straight as an arrow. But her heart certainly wasn’t with me.”
“And you think mine is,” Cindy asked.
“I don’t know,” Diamond said as she stopped walking to look down into her eyes. “Diamond only knows one thing. Ever since she met you, she couldn’t stop thinking about you. Might be the only reason I tolerated Nicole.”
Cindy smiled. “Why are you so nice to me?”
Diamond leaned down toward her. She stood there, anticipating her kiss for a split second before she pushed her away.
“I’m not ready yet — not out here.”
“Aiight Boo,” Diamond said.
She put an arm back around her, pulled her close and they walked slowly down the street.
Josie’s house was empty and they needed quiet so they went there. In Diamond’s room and just laid on her bed together. Cindy was alive that night, laying with Diamond, just talking, laughing, sharing. And she ended up kissing her, with no guilt, with no thoughts of anyone else, Man or Nicole. Being with Diamond, she reached a peace and a calm inside herself. She had been at odds with herself all day, but in Diamond’s arms, everything was okay. And she fell asleep in Diamond’s arms and she felt safe and complete and reborn. But as all things are, the feeling of comfort was only temporary.
She heard the words “What the hell is going on here?” before she even openned her eyes.
“Hey Auntie,” Diamond said sitting up. Cindy was just plain lost and remained silent.
“Your parents are looking for you,” Josie’s mom said coming in the room. “And your here with my niece doing God knows what.”
“Auntie, we was sleeping,” Diamond said standing up. “That’s it.”
“You expect me to believe that,” her aunt said. “Given your history.”
“Has Diamond ever disrespected your house?” Diamond asked her aunt. “I mean come on, we’re still dressed.”
“You will not have these types of relationships while your living with me at all.”
“It’s the only type of relationship I have. I don’t like guys that way period,” Diamond told her.
Her Aunt sighed. “No matter what you think you are, you’re not going to corrupt this girl, period,” her aunt told her. “Cynthia get your stuff.”
Cindy grabbed her shoes and put them on.
“Diamond didn’t do anything to me,” Cindy told Josie’s mother. “I like Diamond.”
“And you liked Man before she got here,” Josie’s mom said. “Let’s go.”
As she was walked out of the room, she saw Josie and Nicole standing in the living room, the last two people she wanted to see. Josie’s mom walked her home, giving her a speech all the way about the way things should be. But she’d learned the way things should be and the way they were could be two different things.
Josie’s mom reported to her parents where she had been found and they suddenly looked at her like they were seeing an alien. When she was asked if she had been with Diamond the other night, she answered truthfully. When asked what they were doing, she admitted “we kissed a couple times”. And then they asked the all important question, but they asked it all wrong.
“So you think you’re lesbian now?” her father had asked.
And she answered plainly. “No, I know I’ve always been one dad.”
They looked at her shocked as she told them how she had always had these feelings for girls that she refused to explain to herself. They didn’t believe her, they blamed Diamond and forbade her to see Diamond. She told them they couldn’t do that.
“We’re your parents,” her father said. “We brought you into this world.”
“So what!” Cindy yelled. “It’s my life! And this is how I FEEL.”
She was sent to her room where she cried. Would life always be this hard from now on? She fell asleep crying. The next thing she knew, there was a hand on her mouth. She awoke in the darkness to find Diamond in her room. She hushed her with a finger to her lip as she removed her hand.
“Diamond,” Cindy said in a low voice, shocked as she looked at her.
“Hey Boo,” Diamond said.
“Hey,” Cindy smiled. “What you doing here?”
“Diamond don’t know what she’s doing here. Guess she’s a little sorry about how things turned out. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you into anything.”
“You didn’t,” Cindy said sitting up in bed. “Your the only person who understands.”
“You know what’s weird?” Diamond said. “People act so liberated and cool till it’s their peeps. They can accept their co-worker being gay or their neighbor, but let it be their sister or nephew or cousin and it becomes this big thing. At least that’s been my experience.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Cindy said. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“And how is that?” Diamond teased, tracing a finger across her cheek and cupping it in her hand. “You loved Nikki this morning.”
“I never loved Nicole. It was just a crush, she wasn’t my first crush, probably won’t be my last.” Cindy smiled. “But you were my first real kiss and so much more.”
“Your just to damn sweet,” Diamond said running a finger over her cheek. “Diamond destined to screw this up somehow.”
“Don’t say that,” Cindy said looking at her. “I think I could love you.”
“I think I could love you too,” Diamond said leaning in to kiss her.
She met her kiss. Passion, intensity, warmth, love, she felt all those things when she kissed Diamond. It was just so right with her, it scared her and excited her all at once. She’d fight the world to hold on to this feeling of completeness Diamond had given her. She filled up this place inside of her that was so empty and unfulfilled for so long. No one would take that away, no one.
Diamond left eventually, because neither one of them needed more trouble that night.
The next day, the rumor mill was in full swing. She passed Man in hallway, he didn’t even speak. A couple girls giggled as she walked past. Some gave her looks. Violet, a girl who had been out for awhile, came up to her and told her she’d be all right, it would past, as it had for her. She had never spoken to Violet before, so the girl acting like they were friends weirded her out. And Diamond didn’t show up for School. Josie and Nicole wouldn’t even speak to her when she asked about her. A couple of annoying guys tried to hit on her, then made some lude comment about Dykes that made her want to reach out and slap them. It was a horrible day. Then she was there, right after school, as soon as she turned the corner.
“Where have you been?” Cindy asked.
“Nowhere,” Diamond smiled. “My aunts sending me packin’, so I bounced before she could arrange another relative for me. I’m hold up with some cool peeps I know at a place. You want to come with, leave all this behind?”
“You’d take me with you?”
“Yeah,” she smiled. “Why not?”
“We haven’t known each other that long and what about school?”
“In this failing economy, do you really see Diamond going to college? Working on wall street or some shit? No, it’s truly come down to the haves and have nots. School ain’t shit, just some outdated crap they send us to out of habit. What’s the point?”
There was so much about Diamond she didn’t know or understand. Who she was, where she was from. Everything was moving too fast, happening too soon. She wasn’t ready to leave her family, no matter what was going on.
“I can’t do it Diamond,” Cindy said. “I guess I’m not a brave as you.”
“You’re brave,” Diamond said. “After all the shit that’s gone down, you still here, talking to me.”
“How could I not?” Cindy said reaching for her hand. Their finger entwined, Diamond bought Cindy’s hand to her lips and kissed her finger. Cindy smiled.
“Well well,” said a voice immediately recognized as Josie. “What’s going on here?”
“Stop trippin’ Jay,” Diamond said.
“The name is Josie,” her cousin corrected.
“My mother thought you were gone?”
“Diamond is gone, out of your house. But it’s a free city.”
“What is wrong with you Cynthia? You use to be so smart,” Josie said.
“What’s wrong with you Josie?” Cindy asked. “You use to act so civilized.”
Josie smirked and walked away with Nicole in tow. Diamond laughed.
“Damn, I got to bounce. She’s probably going to tell Auntie she saw me,” Diamond said.
Diamond let go of Cindy’s hand and started to walk away.
“Diamond,” Cindy called. “When will I see you again?”
“Tonight,” Diamond said. “Stay strong in the struggle suga.”
“I will,” Cindy said with a smile.
Cindy’s father, who should have been at work at this hour, was sitting on the steps when she got home.
“Dad,” she said shocked.
“Josie tells me you were with that girl again.”
“Damn she got a big mouth.”
“What did you say?” Her father said shocked.
“Nothing,” Cindy said sucking her teeth and trying to walk past him.
“You will not see that girl again,” her father said grabbing her arm.
“That girl, her name is Diamond,” Cindy shouted. “And I love her.”
Her father looked at her shocked. Those words shocked him and it shocked Cindy too. Had she said it just to prove a point or did she mean that she loved Diamond? She broke away from her father, ran past him, and went into her room. Her mother knocked on the door. She shouted “leave me alone”. Now she did want to leave.
It was approaching midnight when Diamond came through her window. Cindy had been dressed and waiting for her when she fell asleep. She woke up immediately with the sound.
“What’s up Boo,” Cindy said to Diamond.
Diamond smiled, it was the first time Cindy had ever graced her with that particular term of endearment. It meant something.
“Come on, lets get out of here for awhile.” Diamond took her hand and they left through the window. She had a car waiting.
“Where’d you get a car?” Cindy asked.
“A friend,” Diamond said. “Get in?”
They climbed in the car and Diamond drove. The radio didn’t work, so they talked. Diamond told Cindy how her mother had bailed on her when she seven and since then she had been passed around from family member to family member. None of them really wanted her. When she had lived with her mother, it had been a nightmare. Her mom had had abusive boyfriend after abusive boyfriend. They were always broke, even before the pulse. So her mom would either have her steal things or get her to distract people while they stole food. Her mom was addicted to heroine and sometimes stole the food and then sold it for drugs and Diamond still went hungry. She was so use to being hungry, even when her relatives feed her well, she’d steal just to make sure she had it when she needed it. It was the only way she knew how to live. For some reason it never crossed Cindy’s mind thievery might be responsible for the vehicle she was in now.
They found a clearing and just sat in the back of the car talking for hours and hours. And in that comfort they only found with each other, they fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was almost five in the morning when they awoke and Diamond turned the car back toward home.
“I don’t even want to go back,” Cindy said as she stood outside her door.
“Diamond don’t want you to go,” Diamond said touching her ever so gently. “I love them pretty brown eyes. I could gaze at them all day everyday.”
“Ditto,” Cindy said.
“How far you think we could drive in this old hoopty?”
“I don’t know,” Cindy replied.
Diamond moved in for a kiss and then stopped. “I’m sorry”
“It’s okay,” Cindy said.
“It is?” Diamond replied
“It is,” Cindy said touching Diamond’s lips gently with her own.
Diamond leaned into the kiss, caressing the others lips ever so gently with her own. But Cindy pulled Diamond to her, deepening the kiss further. She just wasn’t afraid anymore, she wanted to feel, she wanted to be real, and she didn’t care what the world thought anymore.
Then came the sirens. The kiss broke. Cindy saw her parents standing on the porch. A couple houses down there was Man. Across the street there was Josie and her mom. And there were cops. Four cops, two cars. And the cops had guns pointed at Diamond.
“Diamond Latrel, you and your friend are under arrest. Step away from the car,” the cop said.
“Damn,” Diamond said. “I’m sorry.”
“The car is stolen?” Cindy asked.
“Yeah,” she admitted. “I didn’t think anyone would miss it.” Diamond told her.
Diamond put her hands up and stepped away from the car. “Listen, my girl over there ain’t have nothin’ to do with this. She ain’t even know.”
Diamond let the cop pat her down and check her for weapons. Another cop came over to Cindy and did the same. He asked her what had happened, she told the truth. They talked to her parents, who fingered Diamond as a “bad influence.”
Cindy was released into her parents custody. Diamond was put in a squad car. Tears flooded Cindy’s eyes as her parents turned her toward the house to take her inside, but she broke away and ran to the squad car. The one holding Diamond had an open window. Cindy reached inside and brought Diamond’s lips to her own and they shared a long good-bye kiss in front of everyone. It took the shocked policeman a minute to react. She pulled her away.
“I love you Diamond,” Cindy shouted.
“I love you too,” Diamond replied.
“Come back to me,” Cindy said with tears in her eyes.
“Diamond will come back to you,” Diamond said as the car pulled off. She watched it go. The cop let her go.
“Don’t pull that trick again,” the police woman said.
Cindy nodded and turned toward her parents. She walked past them and went straight to her room. Diamond was her first love, no one had ever given so much to her – her heart, her head, everything, filled with love for Diamond.
The next day she sat on the steps alone tracing patterns in the dirt with a stick. No one was speaking much to her anymore and she didn’t really feel like talking anyway. Then Josie sat beside her.
“How long have we been friends?” Josie asked.
“Forever,” Cindy replied.
“Then why didn’t you listen to me when I warned you about Diamond.”
“Because I fell in love with her.”
“God, if you wanted a girlfriend, you could have picked one better than my dumb ass cousin.”
Cindy cocked her head to the side and looked at her.
“I had a lot of time to think last night,” she said. “What I saw yesterday. I have no right to judge you. It took a lot of nerve to do what you did. Just kiss her right there in front of everyone.”
Cindy half smiled.
“Still homies,” Josie said presenting her hand.
“For life,” Cindy said taking her hand. They shook for a second and then hugged.
“Check out that freak,” Josie said pointing across the street where Nicole was flirting with Man.
“She can have him,” Cindy told her. “Cindy don’t need no Man.”
They both laughed at the double meaning.
“You’ll never guess what she said yesterday.”
“Let me guess, Cindy’s a bitch.”
Josie grinned. “For you,” she said handing Cindy a picture of Diamond. They hugged and for the moment, things were fine. Her heart still missed and ached for Diamond, but she had her friend back. And she was one step closer to being accepted.
