Can I see you again?
[January 2005]
Fandom: The O.C.
Title: Can I see you again?
PenName: Rhonda Weasley
Character(s):
Paring(s): Alex/Jodie; Alex/Marrissa
Rating: PG
Summary: Missing scene from ‘The Ex-Factor’. A bit of what happened the morning after Alex/Marrissa cuddled up under the blanket on her couch. The story is from Marrissa’s perspective.
Notes:
Warning(s):
Disclaimer: The O.C. tv series was a product of FOX television. No copyright infringement intended.
If you’d told me yesterday I end up in Alex’s arms by the end of the night, I wouldn’t have believed you. I still didn’t believe it. And I really can’t believe how much I enjoy the feeling of her body against my own. For a long time I hoped that in the morning the world would look different. And, for the first time in a long time it was very different, for the first time in a long time I woke up with a smile on my face.
I didn’t know how we’d gone from sitting next to each other to holding each other in our sleep. I was afraid to move, afraid she’d be startled awake and move away from me. Or maybe she’d remember Jodie was in the other room and decide to go to her. But I didn’t want her to go to her, in fact the more time I spent with her the less I wanted her away from me. And I’d never felt that way, at least not about a girl. And that’s why I was also afraid to stay still, to lay here, to enjoy her warmth. What did it mean, after all? I mean I’d always assumed I was totally into guys. Or had that always been assumed for me?
Besides, that was hardly the only issue. There was Seth and Jodie, both of whom felt like they had some claim on her. But no one could claim her, she was a her own woman, neither Seth or Jodie could capture that in a bottle and hold it for there own. It was impossible. I envied and admired her for finding her own way the way she did. I mean, sure, I’d rebelled against the world I’d grown up in. But if my parents had just abandoned me to the world, would I have survived like her? Probably not.
My eyes kept being drawn to her lips as she breathed softly in her sleep. And the urge to kiss them kept coming over me. But then she stirred a bit and before I knew it, she was awake and looking at me. It didn’t kill the urge to kiss her, but it kept it in check.
“We feel asleep, huh?” Alex said pulling away from me. I missed her warmth.
“Yeah, I guess,” I replied as casually as possible.
“Jodie still here?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said again, wishing I could think of another sentence. But right now I was lucky I managed to string those three words together.
“You hungry?” Alex said getting up to stretch out her limbs.
I never thought anyone stretching could be sexy, but this morning her every movement seemed to covet that term. What was I thinking? This was my friend’s girlfriend, sort of. Alex’s romantic situation was complicated enough without her dealing with some confused straight girl. But was I straight? How could I know if I never asked the question?
“Hey, you hear me?” Alex said.
“Yeah, sorry, I kinda spaced. What did you say?”
“Are you hungry? I think I have some Captain Crunch or something around here.”
“That’s okay, I’m not really hungry.” *At least not for food*.
Jodie came out of the bedroom then. She pulled Alex to the side and spoke in a hushed voice, but I could still hear them though I pretended not to.
“You never came to bed,” Jodie said.
“I fell asleep on the couch,” Alex replied.
“With her?”
Alex rolled her eyes. “Listen you’re not in charge of me or who I hang out with. And the last few days I’ve been a wreck trying to decide what to do about you and Seth and this mess we’re in. I just wanted to hang out with a friend who doesn’t want something that from me. I just wanted to spend a few hours not thinking about it.”
“You mean not think about me!”
“You or Seth. I just wanted Alex to be with Alex for a little while. Can you understand that?”
“Whatever,” Jodie said, with an angry undercurrent to her voice. She turned away and went in the bathroom.
“Shit,” Alex cursed to herself. “Jodie.”
Alex followed her out the room and I had the urge to call her back, to beg her to let Jodie stay mad. Then maybe she’d go away leaving me and Alex to enjoy the rest of the morning with each other. I wondered where this irrational jealousy of Jodie came from. Common sense told me to leave, as staying here wouldn’t help the tense situation. Another instinct, one I didn’t know how to name, wanted me too stay. Then that insane part of me that comes out sometimes, made me get up and go to the bathroom door.
I could hear voices talking softly inside. I knew I shouldn’t disturb them, but the insane part of me was in control and the door wasn’t completely closed. So I peaked inside.
“Alex, he can’t possibly love you like I love you,” Jodie told her as she held her close.
“You don’t know Seth, so you can’t say that,” Alex told her.
“I don’t have to know Seth to know he doesn’t love you like I love you. Because no one can love you like I love you,” Jodie replied as she leaned forward to kiss her.
And at that moment, a lot of things rushed through my mind. I’d seen a woman kiss a woman before, but it had been in a club. A ‘girls gone wild’ moment for a man’s attention. But this was different, it was sweet and tender. There was emotion behind it. You could tell it was a kiss filled with desire for each other and not the attention of a third party. So at first I was flushed with this warmth, this feeling that this was a beautiful moment (that I honestly had no business invading, but I found pulling away from it impossible). But then this other feeling invaded me, a desire to be in Jodie’s place. And then there was a bit of jealousy.
“Jodie we can’t,” Alex finally said, breaking the kiss. “Marrissa’s out there.”
“So,” Jodie replied.
“And it’s not just her, we can’t… start this… again,” Alex said as if she was fighting with the words. Something inside her obviously loved Jodie at one point in time, but something else was keeping her from letting the moment take over. Was it Seth? Was it something or maybe someone else? Was it really any of my business?
I left them then, as I truly felt bad about peeping as much as I had. The moment I reached the couch, my cellphone rang startling me. I picked it up.
“Hello,” I said as I quickly answered. “I’m with a friend mom….well I’m not with Summer, so I wouldn’t have been there when you called…..I probably didn’t answer my cell because I was asleep. Yeah, I’m on my way….okay….okay.”
When I hung up, Alex was standing there looking at me and I could hear water running in the distance. Jodie must have climbed in the shower. If Alex had rejected me, I would have need a cold shower too. Wait, what was I thinking? I had to get rid of these thoughts. It would make things too complicated.
“Want a ride home?” Alex asked.
“I don’t really want to go home. I never really want to go home, but I guess I have to.” I sighed and got up.
Alex came up to me, she brushed my hair out of my face and that little bit of contact sent a shockwave through my body. My whole body with rushing with warmth as she came close. And then she smiled at me and spoke.
“At least they want you home,” she said. “At least they care enough to call. I mean, I’m not whining about my own situation, but I never had that.”
I was unable to speak back as I looked up into her eyes. That need to kiss her overtook me again. But I fought it. I didn’t want to scare her away. These unexpected feelings aside, this was the first time I could remember connecting with someone this way. And I didn’t want to lose whatever this was in a day due to some crazy experimental urge in my brain. The emotion was put in check when she stepped away to retrieve her keys.
“Can I see you again?” I said slightly afraid she’d say no, but feeling silly for asking the question. I mean, I was at ‘The Bait Shop‘ a lot anyway. I could have just dropped by and struck up a conversation tonight or tommorow, whenever. But, it was a fluke we ended up together last night and for some reason I couldn’t leave here not knowing for sure when I’d see her again.
“What do you mean?” Alex asked.
“I mean, you wanna hang out again,” I replied.
“Sure,” Alex said. “You know, minus a few unpleasant incidents, last night was cool. You’re cool.”
“Thanks and same here.”
“All right, so lets get out of here.”
“Okay.”
With that, we left her house. I don’t know if it was removing myself from the tense Jodie situation inside or the knowledge she wanted to spend more time together, but I was far more at ease on the trip home. We talked easily as she drove me home. And far too soon, I was back at the house of horrors. But my spirits were lifted by the idea I would see her again.
Jan.30.2005
