Moving On

[May 2005]

Fandom: The O.C.
Title: Moving On
PenName: Rhonda Wealsey
Rating: NC-17
Summary:Relationships end and it’s always such a sad and depressing time, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be hot. Picking up where Forbidden Fruit left off (and mixing in material from the show), Julie is still on a mission to get her daughter home, Alex and Marissa are having problems, and (most important) Julie and Alex are still secretly hot for each other and it’s getting more complicated every day.
Notes: Set around the events that concluded in “The Blaze of Glory” (I think that was the end of the Alex/Marissa relationship)
Warning(s): Contains graphic love making between females. If this disturbs you or isn’t suited to your taste, stop here, do not read. If it’s in anyway illegal for you to read, turn away, do not read.
Disclaimer: The O.C. tv series was a product of FOX television. No copyright infringement intended.

It should have felt wonderful, Marrissa beneath her begging for more. Enjoying every moment of thier lovemaking. Screamming…

“Please Alex, oh yes, oh fuck yes.”

But instead these words cut like a knife. In response, the strokes of her stap on came harder and faster. It was almost violent and she wanted to stop herself. She had to be hurting Marrissa as she’d lost all control, but Marrissa seemed to like it that way.

“Oh god, oh god, I’m–”

But she never finished as the intense wave of her orgasam swept over her. Alex held Marrissa close to her as her orgasam overcame her. And she kissed her softly all over her face as the wave of her orgasam slipped away. The kisses were almost an appology for being so rough.

“Why didn’t we try that before?” Marrissa asked.

“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it,” Alex said in reply.

It was a lie, but she couldn’t tell her the truth. The truth was she had never even though of incorperating a strap on in her sex life until Julie. She never saw the point of a fake phallus when two women could please each other quite well without it. If you want to be with a woman, be with one was her motto. She hadn’t realized the toys could be a fun bit of extra every once in awhile. Still, she’d never imagined a completely femine woman like Julie would enjoy the sexual domination of being on the controling end of anal sex. But Julie wasn’t a Lesbian, she was just out for her own pleasure (which would have only been a problem if they were considering a relationship, they weren’t). Maybe, Alex thought, she had spent to much time with Lesbians who had there own rules about the way things were ‘suppose to be’. Maybe, she thought, a woman like Julie Cooper, someone outside all those trappings, had it right (just a little bit). Just to go with what you feel.

And she had a feeling Marrissa might enjoy a little experimentation with a dildo. Unlike Julie, she didn’t spring it on her in the heat of the moment, she discussed the possibility first. Marrissa seemed a little scared when Alex first brought it up in bed, but while she was shy that night, the next morning was a different story. She soon got excited wondering what it would feel like by comparrison to the ‘real thing’. By the next night, she was more than willing to try it. Alex had insisted she come shopping with her for one.

Marrissa wasn’t quite prepared for the shock of the sex shop. She was taken aback by the assortment of available items. But afterawhile and a few jokes from Alex, she was a bit more relaxed. She was shocked to see a hetero couple browsing the dildo’s.

“Think you’d like this one up your ass,” the woman asked openly of her male partner, rubbing his butt as she did so.

“Oh yeah,” he said in reply. “I’m stretched just enough that it will fit perfectly.”

Marrissa nearly dropped the dildo she was holding. She had been reluctant to pick it up in the first place and now she wanted to go. But Alex said:

“Marrissa relax, different people enjoy different things.”

And she kissed her, relaxing her a bit. Nervously, Marrissa finally settled on a flesh colored dildo of about an average 8 inch lenth, but very thick. It was quite realistic, down to the veins in the shaft. Alex was hoping for something a bit more colorful. Something disturbed her about Marrissa’s preferance for the flesh colored toy. But they bought it along with the required “harness” to make the night complete

That day, while Marrissa was away at school, Alex planned a perfect evening to try out there toy. She cleaned the apartment, cooked dinner for them (okay heated dinner for them, she bought it from a local place). And decorated the bedroom with scented candels and placed rose petals on the bed. The perfect setting, far more perfect than the one she had with Julie. That had to yeild a more ideal evening right?

When Marrissa got home she was quite surprised but pleased. She showed her gratitude by giving Alex a long kiss that was almost had Alex wanting to go over the edge prematurely. But she held back, intent on her perfect evening. Dinner was lovely, conversation wonderful.

After dinner, Alex took Marrissa to the bathroom, were she bathed her throughly and tried to resist the urge to do more to her. But seeing her with her head tilted back in comfortable extacsy as she was bathed was too much. She stole a kiss and Marrissa hungrily accepted it, with far more passion than Alex had expected. The intensity of there kisses had really fallen off since they’d moved in together.

Already the night was looking up. Alex escourted her to the bedroom. She laid her on the bed, undressed, and then tasted every inch of Marrissa’s body. She started at her head, kissing her temple, cheeks, neck. Then traveled down the valley between her breast, before taking a nice long drag one her nipples. She dropped kisses all along her beautiful flat tummy. Then down her thighs. Even as the strong odor of her aching sex reached her, she resisted going there yet. She went lower still, sucking on other woman’s toes, something she’d never done before. Marrissa giggled at first, but then moaned a bit. Especially as Alex’s fingers found her leaking center. She wanted to taste her so badly, but she knew that she would never be permitted to kiss her if she did. So she kissed her lips instead, while her fingers continued to explore Marrissa’s love canal.

Alex kissed her neck, her lips, everywhere her lips could reach above the neck as she moved masterfully inside her. She had forgotten about the toy they had purchased together, she was so lost in the intimacy of her connection to Marrissa. She felt her body tense up and release. And they kissed again. And Alex was happy and quite wet and hoping for a just a little reciprocation when Marrissa said, “We gonna try it now.” It was only then Alex remembered the strap on.

Marrissa helped her put it on, giggling and slightly giddy as they got her all strapped up.

“How do you want to do this?” Alex asked, not quite as good as playing the power postion as Julie was. In fact, she felt quite akward at the momment.

Marrissa didn’t say anything, just laid back on the bed and openned her legs.

“Lets be a little bit more bolder than missionary,” Alex said leaning over her. “Why don’t you ride me?”

Even though Julie had never said those words, she suddenly felt like she was doing her best to immitate her.  Alex laid down and Marrissa cautiously straddled her legs. The rubber toy was sitting up proudly between Alex’s legs. Marrissa looked intimidated by it. She was still wrapping her mind around the reality of her female lover sporting a phallus.

“This is weird,” Marrissa said.

“You don’t want to…”

“No, I do,” Marrissa said.

Alex reached over and put Marrissa’s hands on her breast. Marrissa cautiously began to carress them. Then Marrissa leaned over and kissed her. Then she carefully began to position herself over the rubber dick. She seemed to be afraid at first (it wasn’t like she had done this a lot). But eventually she  lowered herself on and took it in slowly. Suddenly she realized she was in, the faux phallus deep inside her.

“This is weird,” she said again, but began to ride the toy anyway. After a few strokes, she became more bold, impaling herself on the faux rod even harder and closing her eyes and moaning. Carressing her own breast as she moved against it.

“Wow this feels good,” Marrissa finally said.

But Alex was feeling like she had very little to do with it, beyond wearing the thing. Not that she wasn’t turned on by the site before her, but she wanted to feel like she was pleasing Marrissa. Watching Marrissa (eye closed) so pleased to have a dick inside her, disturbed her. So she grabbed her and began taking control of her movements by dirrecting her hips, she wanted her to feel her touch, but that wasn’t enough either. So she filped her over (Marrissa shrieked and then gigled) and then began to take control of the strokes.

“Open your eyes,” she said, for a second she shuddered because to her own ears she was now sounding like Julie. But somehow that thought turned her on and she hated that, because this night was suppose to be about driving Julie out of her mind. But she forgot that in the face of her determination for Marrissa to feel her. So she met her lovers eyes with this intense gaze as she feed the girl’s hungry pussy. And as much as she loved that pussy, she hated that the pussy hungry for cock. Not that the pussy knew any different, it had a cock so it was happy. And her own pussy, turned on despite it’s anger, drove it’s power through the cock burried into Marrissa. And what was at first intended to be slow and delicate love making was turning into a rage fuck.

It was only now, in the aftermath, Alex realized the mistake in her thought process from the moment she introduced the possiblity of a faux cock into there sex life. The fact was, unlike Julie, her motivation hadn’t been pleasure, for herself or Marrissa, it had been to prove to Marrissa she could do anything that asshole Ryan Atwood could do.


It had been a disracting week at school. The strap-on had been a very new experience for her. She wondered what it would feel like by comparrison. And the truth was, Alex was way better with the “toy” than Luke had been with the real thing. Heck, Alex was better without the aid of a toy. If only Marrissa  could voice these things.

Marissa was half afraid of being more bold sexually. For one, she didn’t want to fail as a lover. Something Alex had said a million times she couldn’t do, but that was hard for her to believe. She adored Alex and was happy to please her, but she was quite intimidated. And second, part of her was afraid of liking it too much because an itty bitty part of her still felt attached to Ryan. And a itty bitty part of her didn’t want to admit complete and total exhilaration with a female lover.  Ryan was her first real love and she didn’t want to let go of that yet. She didn’t know if Alex could understand that, so she didn’t talk about it. Yes, Alex admitted to being bi, to enjoying sex with either and feeling fullfilled (even though she admited she’s never quite emotionally ‘loved’ men the way she ‘loved’ women). And Marissa adored Alex, but she wasn’t ready to be different. Especially not now that two of her best friends (Seth and Summer) were back together. She felt the desire to fall back into that comfortable space of her and Ryan together, if only because in High School it was easier that way. She was sure a few of the kids at Harbor knew she had a girlfriend and even though she hadn’t been persecuted for it, she recieved the occassional stare when she drove up with Alex or they were seen together at the local hangout known as the Bait Shop.

There were times she forgot about them. Last week a band had been playing the Bait Shop. Alex had taken Marissa on the dance floor and they had gotten quite entranced in the dancing with each other. It was like they were home alone and no one else was around, but when the song ended, a very scary looking woman had winked at her and a guy had stuck his tongue out between his parted fingers and wiggled it. It made her uncomfortable and she started some idiotic conversation with Alex that killed the intensity of the situation.

True, she had been rebelling forever, it seemed, but there were days where she felt overwhelmed with Alex, like she wasn’t ready. Like she was still a child ready to run scared. And she didn’t want to do that, but the urge to do so wasn’t going away.

Alex must have felt it too, she seemed to pull away a bit after their incredible night together. She found reasons to be working whenever it was possible to avoid her. She was drinking at odd hours of the day (not that she could exactly judge her for that) and was only playing at happy 90% of the time. And they weren’t having sex. But Marrissa wasn’t brave enough to bring that up.

She needed a distraction and one conviently arrived soon after. Marissa had barely been to school the last couple weeks, so she was shocked when they still wanted her involved in the pep rally Bonfire project — let alone in charge of it . But she was glad too do it. She supposed this was a chance to try to prove to herself she could be responsible and it distracted her from her growing problems with Alex and their sexual frustrations. It didn’t help that her mother was calling every two seconds to try to convince her to come home. You think after 20 rejected calls she’d get that it wasn’t working.

It was after one of these calls that Seth convinced her to talk to Ryan about helping with the bonfire. She wasn’t exactly sure this was the best idea, but her defences were down and she wanted the help. While Ryan would have been last on her list last year, despite being the sole object of her affection, she had seen him mature this year. And they were friends… they never actually stopped being friends despite some bad moments. So she agreed to ask him and, when she asked, he agreed to help. But she hadn’t thought about how Alex might see it…but Alex did the second she called her and heard about it.


Alex missed the way the world use to just die out when she and Marissa were together. She missed the way she use to respond eagerly to her calls and how glad she was just to stop by and sit and talk with her for hours and hours. And she regeted ever experimenting with her and the dildo. And what she hated was that she hadn’t felt this insecure with Julie. When Julie was inside her, connecting with her through the fake phallus, it just felt like an aid to their pleasure — an extension of Julie’s own desire. It was hot, it was amazing, and it was no more or less than the actions of two people who wanted nothing more than to please each other.

But it felt different with Marissa, like she really did want the real thing inside her, like she never would be completly happy with just her. It didn’t help that every time she went to the school, she saw Marissa laughing and hanging out with that damn Ryan Atwood!! Okay Seth and Summer were there too, but they weren’t exs,  she didn’t have a mini-shirne to her relationships with them in her bedroom at home (at home at the Caleb mansion that is). She had no intention of ever using the faux penis again. Not with Marissa anyway… Julie. She kept wanting to just see her and fuck the shit out of her one more time, if only to bury the growing pain in her heart.  Lust was easier than the hurt of love, much easier. Then she hated herself for the thought. Because whatever had drawn Julie to her had obviously faded,  she hadn’t spoken to her since and Alex refused to seek her out and admit all she wanted to do was climb into bed with her again and lock out the world.

It was then she knew she was not only in danger of losing the girl she loved, she was in danger of falling far to easily into Julie’s game again. She was partially relieved that the temptation was gone.


But Julie hadn’t forgotten Alex at all. She just had to focus on the problem at hand — Lance. For the moment, there was nothing to be done about Marissa. Even though she was hell bent on separating Alex from her daughter, that jerk Lance was putting pressure on her about this porno. There was no choice, she needed help with this and she didn’t think anyone could help but him… Sandy Cohen. He must have been Superman in another life, because he had a weakness for the downtrodden. And just as she thought, when she left the office that day he was understanding enough about her problem that he was willing to help her out. And the truth was, deep down she was being sincere with Sandy. She hadn’t really spent a lot of personal time with Sandy, but they seemed to connect as parents. He understood why she didn’t want her children to know. The last thing Marissa needed was something else to hate her for, it would kill any possiblity of her coming home.

Although, at this point, she wondered what Marissa would rate worse. The fact that her mother had done a porn movie or the fact that she had fucked her girlfriend in ways Marissa wouldn’t even dream of. Perhaps this is what drove her to drop by Alex’s place. She was shocked when Marissa answered the door and she seemed to be alone. But she was happy to see her, Marissa was her first baby afterall. Though it was hard to see that chubby baby in what was now a beautiful young woman. She smiled at her, but Marissa didn’t smile back.

“What?” she said annoyed.

“Well it’s nice to see you too sweetie,” Julie replied and then started to enter, but Marissa put up a hand to stop her.

“Whoa, hello, I haven’t been vacinated. What do you want?”  

“Well I thought that we could talk, face-to-face. May I come in?’

“No,” Marrissa replied quickly.

Julie knew the defiance was building in Marrissa from her tone of voice. She’d dealt with too many spoiled brat moments to not recognize the signs. But she could be as hard headed as Marissa, she was going to talk some sense into her if it killed her.

“Don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far? Do you enjoy living in squalor?”

“Well you and Caleb don’t live her, so it can’t be that disgusting.”

“I could make you come home.”

“What are you going to do, call the cops? I’d love to tell them all about you.”

Julie so had the urge to give her a spanking right now.

“I could take away your credit cards,” Julie said.

“I’ll get a job,” Marissa snapped back.

“You?” Julie scoffed “Doing what?”

“Or maybe I’ll just steal, you know I’m really good at that.”

Julie sighed, this was getting them nowhere. She gave one last heartfelt plea for Marissa to come home, but she slamed the door in her face. Julie didn’t want to leave, but she had no idea what she could say to get Marissa home. There was far too much going on in her life right now. Between Lance and the tape, Marissa and her hard head, and her own distracting obsession with Marissa’s girlfriend *sigh*. She needed to focus, to think, Sandy was handling the Lance situation and the only way to improve the Alex situation was to get Marissa home. So she would have to keep focus on Marissa.

But Alex was thinking the same thing, focus on Marissa. So she went to see Seth. Seth was suppose to be her friend afterall and Marissa was one of his closest friends, so if anyone could help her figure out this situation he could. As far as she knew, he was cool with them being together. Beyond being his usual silly self, he seemed happy for them. He may not have been the most fullfilling boyfriend she ever had (not that any of them really were) but he was suppose to be her friend, they’d been better friends than lovers anyway. When she stopped by, it took a minute for her to get him serious and beyond the schoolboy fantasy talk and when he did, he let it slip about Marissa and Ryan’s snuggle session in a tent during their Mall escapades. It seem to confirm her worse fears. She needed a drink, she needed a lot of them.

And she had a lot of them, when she came home to Ryan and Marissa hugging in front of her place, the place she shared with Marissa, she felt like their haven was soiled by his presence, and she lost it as Marissa slipped inside. She threw a beer can at Ryan, shoved him, and threatened him. Things she had never done before. But it wasn’t just Marissa’s sexual confussion that had her wound so tight, it wasn’t just the hurt of knowing the one you love was in love with someone else, it was also her own guilt and confussion over the fact she too had cheated and she had loved every minute of it. So, aided by alcholol, she took all the anger on Ryan. She was surprised she found the resolve to walk away because she wanted to smash his face in. But she didn’t have enough beer in her to make her go totally insane.

Marissa was playing at sleep on the couch when she got in and she was too angry to wake her. She slept in the bedroom alone. And unfortunatly, her dreams were filled with thoughts of Marissa and Ryan getting friendly in a tent. The last thing she wanted to think about. So even without the aid of drinks to make it worse, she woke up in the same bad mood she went to sleep with and confronted Marissa on the new information. A part of her felt really guilty after, she had cheated on Marissa twice afterall. But the thing was, she didn’t love Julie… it was just sex. Marissa and Ryan had been in love, Ryan had her heart. It was bigger than the physical absence of a man, it was the possiblity that Alex had fallen for someone who belong heart and soul to someone else. That this had all been a lie, that every moment of happiness she had with Marissa had been an illusion, just something Marissa did to kill time before she was back together with Ryan. And that’s what killed her inside.

After the confrontation with Marrissa, she went in the bedroom and laid on her bed. She fought tears, but they wouldn’t stay back. Then she felt a warm body behind her.

“I’m sorry,” Marrissa whispered

“I am too,” Alex said.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Marissa replied and kissed her shoulder gently.

Alex rolled over and they shared a long intimate kiss. Marrissa rolled her shirt away and gently carressed her breast and then tasted them. Her hand moved slowly down the other woman’s body and found her aching vagina. It was hungry for her fingers, hungry for the love they would show her. And those fingers made love to her. They slipped inside and met the strokes of her hips until she screamed out in pleasure.

And even though it was beautiful, it felt like good-bye.

And it was, because the next day Sandy made a suggestion to Julie that changed the playing feild. Sandy had told Julie that maybe it wasn’t the message, but the messenger that made the difference. So she knew exactly who to consult, Ryan. If anyone could convince Marissa to come home, it was Ryan. Of course, seeing as they weren’t exactly the best of friends, it was hard convincing him that her motives were genuine. And they were genuine, she did think Marissa was way over her head in this relationship with Alex and doing it for all the wrong reasons. Despite the benefits to her if Alex was free of Marissa, in the end it was about Marissa. And Ryan understood that.

But Alex didn’t, at least not from the Julie perspective.

Alex was quite depressed despite the lovemaking she had recently shared with Marrissa. As much as she loved her, she’d honestly seen it ending badly from the beginning. Maybe she should have stuck to that rule about staying away from straight girls.

She was still nursing an increasingly bad mood with the liquor bottle when Ryan arrived at her door. And not only did he dare ask for Marissa, he pushed past her into the apartment like she didn’t matter.

And then he had the nerve to say… “It’s not about me, I’m here cause of her mom!”

“What?” Alex replied angrily “You and Julie Cooper a team now?”

“Yeah,” he said casually, still acting as if she and the wall had blended.

And he then ignored her warning to stay away from Marissa as if she didn’t matter and she hated him even more for it as he walked out the door. Not only was she really pissed, she felt like a fool. She knew she didn’t love Julie Cooper and that Julie didn’t love her, but she thought they understood each other just a little. Yet she had employeed Ryan to persue Marissa, to destroy their relationship, to break her heart. She felt used and she felt hurt and perhaps that’s why she did what she did….

The bonfire was going, the harbor kids were excited, and here came Alex with two guys she knew. Two big guys with loads of muscle. And Ryan knew they were there with the intent of using that muscle on him as soon as he saw here. Ryan suddenly look scared. He brushed off her previous threats like they were coming from a little girl, so she felt quite satisfied that he was intimidated by the muscle. Until she saw the horrified look on her girlfriend’s face that is. She loved her too much to enjoy Ryan’s intimidation anymore. And when she dragged her off to talk, she knew there was no salvaging thier relationship. The end she dreaded from the beginning had arrived.


Marissa was finally curled up in her bed at home. Julie was so glad to see her come through the door, she almost forgot that she had a conversation coming with Caleb that she really didn’t want to have. When she came home they hadn’t said anything to each other, Marissa just came in with a box under her arm and headed up to her room. Caleb started to speak, but a look from Julie told him to let it go. He was so her puppet. She really didn’t want to have to focus on him when something much better was awaiting her, but had no choice but to go to bed with him. Luckily, it was easy to wear Caleb out and he was sleeping soundly within a couple hours.

Julie grabbed something she hardly ever wore, sweats, and headed out the door. She couldn’t get to Alex’s place fast enough. She was shocked to see her packing boxes into her car. Maybe they were things of Marissa’s she had left behind.

Alex turned around as Julie pulled in beside her car. Julie noticed tears were in Alex’s eyes and a part of her felt guilty for her part in the breakup, but it had to be done. It was the only way.

“Mrs. — Julie, what are you doing here?” Alex said trying to wipe the tears away. She was not going to be broken down in front of this woman, she wasn’t going to be vulnerable.

“I know it’s over,” Julie said. Alex searched for a sign of gloating in this statement, but there was none.

“Of course you do. You wanted him to break us up and I played right into it,” Alex said.  Then her gaze met Julie’s and Julie hated the hurt in her eyes, the accusation in her gaze. “You got what you want, everything you wanted. You had your own lesbian fantasies fullfilled and saved your daughter from it at the same time.” She paused, trying again to fight on onslaught of tears that would not be held back. “I loved Marissa so much. I would have done anything to make her happy, but you didn’t think I could so you made sure that I didn’t.”

Alex turned to go back inside, still fighting the urge to show any weakness. Julie followed her to the doorway and grabbed her arm.

“I can’t control Marissa’s feelings for Ryan,” Julie said.

“No, you can’t. But I don’t have to watch it happen. I’m gone.”

“What do you mean your gone?” Julie asked.

“I’m leaving,” she said breaking away from her. The last thing she wanted right now was Julie touching her. “No big deal, I’ve done it before.”

“I don’t want you to leave!”

“Why? You want another fuck? Is that what you’re after? Well let’s get it over then. Come on.”

Alex started to pull off her shirt right there, but Julie stopped her. Against her attempts to do otherwise, the tears started falling again. And as they began to fall, Julie pulled her into a hug. And it was weird. Up to this point, their physical interaction had been about sex and just about sex. No more, no less. Despite the fact she had shared moments of sincerity with her, she found it hard to believe she was any more than a novelty fuck to Julie Cooper-Nichol. She pulled away a little, trying to reject her comfort even though deep in her heart she wanted to accept it. But Julie held her tight and Alex suddenly realized she was wearing clothing that seemed to have been thrown on a hurry. And she hadn’t given her face the usual full facial make-over. She’d rushed over here to see her without completely grooming herself to the usual standards of high-class perfection. But why? Why had she abandoned the Julie standard? Was it really possible she felt something more than lust?

And then something else weird happened, Julie kissed her. And it wasn’t so weird that she kissed her (she’d kissed her quite alot at that point) but for the first time the kiss wasn’t about the intent to have sex. It was a soft and delicate dance with each others lips. There was nothing demanding or controling or dominating about it, it was just … beautiful. There was no other word for the sweet tenderness of it. And this element of this kiss scared her more than there past encounters because she had only recently felt this way with Marissa. When she’d kissed Julie before, it wasn’t about emotional intimacy. It had one intent, but that usual intent was fading into something more intense and more significant.  

When there lips parted, it was Julie who spoke first.

“I don’t want this to end,” she said.

“What does that mean?”

“I have connections. I can get you a better place than this, a better job, a better…”

Suddenly Alex realized her motivations and pushed her away. “You can’t buy me!” she yelled going through her door. After a look around, Julie followed her in and shut the door.

“It always comes back to money with you doesn’t it?” Alex asked. She couldn’t believe Julie looked offended.

“I just made you a pretty decent offer!” Julie yelled. “I just wanted to set you up with something better…. than this.”

“As what? Your mistress? Your whore? I don’t want that, in fact, I’m headed back home to try to work on it with my parents, maybe go to school. Figure out what it is I do want.”

“High School? You’re thinking about going back to High School?”

“Yeah, have you forgotten? I’m your daughter’s age?”

“I haven’t forgotten, it’s just… you’re years away from where she is, so it’s hard to see you as the same. You’re more like I had to be, resourceful, independant.”

“Independant? You live off a rich, older man. And if I get the fancy house and cars and clothes one day, all that stuff you value, all that stuff you want Marissa to come home to, it will be because I worked hard to get there. Not because I married rich and leeched off my husband.”

“For your information, I have worked hard in my life. I’ve done things I’ll regret for the rest of my life, just to put food on the table another night. So when I finally got that better life, yeah, I treasured it, I held on to it, I wasn’t going to let it go. Because I know what it’s like to not have it, I know the worse of not having it and I’m not going to give it up without a fight. Hate me for it if you must, but you have no idea what I’ve been through to get here. And even though it made me stronger, I don’t want my daughters to know that life at all. I want better for them, without the struggle I had to go through.”

“Then why are you so hard on people like me and Ryan and DJ?”

“What do you care about Ryan and DJ?”

“I don’t, I barely know Ryan and I really don’t even like him. And I never met DJ, but what I get from Marissa is that every time she gets involved with someone who’s not a part of your ideal ‘Newport’ life, you want to get rid of them.”

“And that’s exactly why she dates them, because it pisses me off. It has nothing to do with her falling in love.”

“Oh yeah, then why, all of a sudden, was it real love between Marrissa and Ryan when she got with me? I think the only reason you like Ryan right now is that he’s lived with the Cohens long enough for you to think of him as their son. He’s a part of the ‘right family’ now, he goes to the ‘right school’, he has the ‘right group of friends’, so it’s okay for her to love him, especially when the other choice is me. And, to tell the truth, I don’t think you really give a shit about where I’m from, with me it all comes down to what’s between my legs, doesn’t it? Funny… you seem to enjoy it.”

“Don’t make assumptions, Alex. After Marissa told me, I was shocked. She’s been pretty boy crazy since 12 afterall. But when she came home, I was willing to not fight her on this. I was willing to wait it out and…”

“Wait it out?”

“I’m sorry Alex, but I didn’t think it would last. I’ve seen Marissa get new toys and get bored with them so much, I can identify the pattern. But I would have let you two be if Marissa hadn’t gone brat on me and moved out the house. She wasn’t ready for that, her attendance at school proves that. When it was good between you she hardly went and when it got a little shakey, all she did was run away in the first available escape, the school. Now don’t get me wrong, I want her in school. But that doesn’t change the fact that moving in with you was just another way of throwing a tantrum. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Alex didn’t say anything.

“I know you love her, but what you saw as a serious relationship was just another one of Marissa’s escape tactics, another one of her temper tantrums, another one of her attempts to piss off mom.”

Alex slid down on the couch. The truth of Julie’s words ringing in her ears. She didn’t want to hear them, but she knew they were true. Julie kneeled down in front of her. She reached up and cupped her face between her hands.

“Don’t leave,” she said softly.

“What do you want? Why are you here?”

“I just,”Julie told her. “I wanted to be with you. It’s insane. From the moment she moved out, all I wanted was my daughter back home. And the second she got there, all I could think about was coming here to be with you.”

“So you were looking for another fuck?”

“No, I just wanted to be near you.”

Then Julie’s lips met Alex’s in another tender kiss and once again Alex was flooded with the scary and exhilarating possiblity that Julie had real feelings for her.

….And they had been so invested in each other in these last few moments, neither had noticed the door was currently cracked. And someone was standing there appauled… Marissa. She had returned for a bracellet her dad had given her and heard ‘Why are you here?’. She froze a second in the cracked doorway, wondering if she should interrupt whoever was in there with Alex. Then she heard her mother’s reply. She was all set to barge in and defend Alex from whatever was coming when she heard ‘I just wanted to be near you.’ This shocked her enough, but then she heard ‘So you were looking for another fuck?’ (Another fuck? They’d had sex before?). At that moment, disgust should have made her walk away or outrage should have made her burst through the door. Instead, she peaked inside and saw Alex sitting on the couch with her mother on her knees between Alex’s legs. And they were leaning toward each other and then, they kissed. Marissa wondered how many times they had kissed before? How many times had it gone further than kissing?

She pulled away from the doorway trying to wrap her head around what she saw. First her boyfriend and then her girlfriend, what was wrong with her mother? Was Ryan next? Her head was spinning so fast, she didn’t know what to do. She and Alex had broken up, but from what she heard this had happened at least once while they were together. Should she burst in there and call them on it? But something in her wouldn’t let her. There was something about that kissed that disturbed her, something was far to genuine about it. It was far more genuine than any kiss she’d seen her mother share with Caleb (ewwww!) and far too close to being as genuine as the kisses her mother use to share with her father. Still, after all she’d put her through about it, her mother was now in there kissing her girlfriend.

Marissa turned back toward the door, prepared to barge in, but things had progressed since she’d turned away. They were now laying on the couch, her mother on top of Alex, kissing her far more intensly than before. How long could she stand here, she didn’t think she could stand here much longer with Julie moving even lower on Alex’s body, slidding off her pants, parting her ex’s legs, she was actually going to… Marissa tore her eyes away. She couldn’t watch this. But she couldn’t find the strenth to leave or enter. She took another involuntary peek. Her mother was now down to her underwear and inbetween Alex’s legs, a place Marissa’s mouth had been unwilling to wander.

“I love the smell of you,” her mother said burrying her nose in Alex’s pussy. “And the taste of you,” She suckled hungrily at her pussy.

Alex began to moan as Julie fed hungrily at her vagina and Marrissa felt herself involuntarily getting wet watching. She again faded away from the door to stop herself from watching. It was sickening. She was enjoying watching her mother and her ex-girlfriend have sex. She was now too embarrassed to admit admit she saw anything tonight. Her bracellet would be there in the morning. So she reluctantly left the scene, trying to forget it had ever happened.

Inside the apartment, Julie and Alex were none the wiser. Julie was still lovingly driving Alex wild with Oral pleasure and when she thought she would burst from the pleasure of it all, it rolled like a wave out of her.

Julie crawled on top her and greeted her with a kiss again. A long, drawn out, intimate exchange.

“I love the taste of you,” she whispered in her ear when their lips parted. “I love being a part of you.”

Alex was so heated now, she just wanted to make love to Julie all night.

Alex got up off the couch and led her to the bedroom. They kissed again and then laid on the bed beside her. She traced all the curves of her body with her finger and decided suddenly she wanted to fill her as she had never been filled before. She didn’t know if she could pull it off, but she was going to try it anyway.

She kissed down Julie’s body, stopping to feed at the delicious pussy for awhile. She had no doubts about this pussy. It wanted her and nothing else. She fed two of her fingers into the pussy and it accepted them willingly. Julie moaned and begged for more. One more finger was added. They moved slowly inside. Julie was still grasping her, moaning, and feeling nothing but pleasure. She heard what she was going to attempt was easier to accomplish with women who had children, she hoped it was true. She suddenly wanted this more than she wanted anything. She positioned her fourth finger and thumb to enter her lover and when all those didgets made a move towards her vaginal wall, Julie gasped.

“Whoa, what are you doing?”

“Just relax,” Alex said kissing her. “And trust me.”


“So you’ve heard of it?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“You’re almost there. If we get there, won’t it be worth it?”

Julie smiled and pulled her face to her. She gave her a deep kiss. They kissed while Alex’s entire hand slowly made room for itself inside her lover. Julie grunted with discomfort a bit, but allowed her body relax and adjust to the new invasion. And when Alex’s hand was fully inside her, she was amazed at the feeling of fullness. Alex remained still at first, allowing her lover’s body to fully adjust to the fullness.

“Oh my lord this is incredible,” Julie said sitting up and looking at the fist burried inside of her. “I can’t believe you’re inside of me like this.”

“Are you ready for more?” Alex asked.

“I’m ready for anything you want to give me, baby,” Julie replied ahring another  kiss with her..

But was she? She wasn’t sure. This had come as a surprise afterall. She was use to a little more control over what happened between them. Alex started to move inside her and it was one of the most incredible sensations of her life. She tried to savor it, but she had no contol over the ripples of pleasure now ripping through her body. her inner wall was being stimulated in a whole new way. And just when she thought nothing could feel better than this, Alex leaned down and began to flick her tongue across the older woman’s clit. Then she sucked on her love button driving her positively insane with pleasure.

“Oh got damn fuck,” Julie said tensed up just before a shockwave seemed to rip through her whole body. It was the strongest Orgasam she’d ever had. Alex continued to toy with her clit as Julie’s body rippled with aftershocks, something that had never happened before. Alex’s fist slipped free of her body. She missed her presence the moment it was gone. Julie breathed hard, her heart racing. She’d never cum like that and she had a feeling she never would again. When she was done licking and sucking at the juicing cunt, Alex laid beside her and Julie claimed her lips, lips that were seeped in the taste of her own juices.

“You are incredible,” Julie said when she regain the ability to speak. She was too exhausted to say anymore. She could only lay still, holding onto Alex. And they laid there for a long time saying nothing. Somehow, evne though it wasn’t her intention, Julie drifted off to sleep.

She awoke with a start an hour later, alone in bed. Everything that happened rushed back into her head and all she wanted was to see her lover again, but she was no where to be found. Then she heard water running and realized she hadn’t gone. It was then she noticed a strap-on laying on the bedside table. It had been sitting there since Alex’s night of experimentation with Marrissa. But not knowing this, Julie wondered. Had this toy been inside Marrissa or Alex or both. She got up and tried it on. It weighed much less than the one she had used. She’d disposed of hers, afriad of having to explain it to her husband. Especially since she now HAD to confess about the porno she’d done. But she then dismissed Caleb and Lance from her mind. Right now, in this moment, all she wanted to think about was Alex.

She heard her coming and Julie got back in bed, covering up the toy with a sheet. Alex walked into the bedroom smiling. Turning out Julie so throughly  she had passed out had made her feel much better. She somehow knew no one, man or woman, would ever be able to compete with that first fisting she had given her

“Hey beautiful,” Alex said walking over to Julie as she sat on the side of the bed.

“What time is it?”

“Like 1:00 in the morning. Why? You got somewhere to be?”

“Yeah, inside you.”

She pulled her down on the bed and kissed her throughly, there nipples bumping against each other in there own sort of dance. Alex knocked away the sheet and saw she was wearing the fake Phallus.

“Why do you have that on?” She asked, slightly disappointed.

“I don’t know, just felt like it. Why?”

“That killed me with Marrissa.”


“I don’t know, when I wore it… it just felt like it wasn’t about us. It was like she was just missing cock, so I tried to be something I wasn’t.”


“Yeah, it’s really weird. With me and you it was soooo fullfilling.”

“That’s good to know,” Julie said allowing her fingers to dance across the younger woman’s body. “Because I love your ass and your pussy and your breast. I love everything that makes you you. This little rubber toy is just that, a toy. I don’t need it to be fullfilled with you”

“I know that. But with her… “

“Tell me …”

“We had a wonderful night,” Alex began as Julie started to suck on her breast. She sighed a little an continued. “I bathed her. She loved it. We kissed passionatly and came back to the bedroom.” Alex paused again as a another pleased sigh escaped her lips. “Damn you have a skilled mouth.”

“Tell me more about you and Marrissa.”

She should have thought it weird Julie wanted to hear this, but she was turning a memory she had mixed feelings about into something very pleasant.

“All my effort to make a romantic evening were working out well, she was quite ready for lovemaking when we reached the bedroom, I kissed her from head to toe, litterally. I avoided the pussy though, as appealing as it was she wouldn’t kiss me if I tasted her, so I didn’t.”

In response, Julie moved lower on  her and kissed her vagina throughly, she moaned it was hard to find her place in the story.

“Continue,” she said.

“Damn, where was I. Oh yeah, I kissed her lips as my fingers entered her driving her…oh damn,” Alex said unable to continue at that moment. “She loved ridding my fingers, she juiced, I’d forgotten about the toy, but she hadn’t. She asked for it. That fleshy toy that looked like the real…..ahhh ahh,” she couldn’t talk anymore as a little mini orgasam rippled through her.

“I want to hear about you entering her,” Julie whispered.

Alex spoke again. “She decided to ride me.”As she said this, Julie spread her wide enough to get into position at her door.  “She was cautious at first.” But Julie wasn’t, She began to move into her pussy. “I felt her thighs against mine, but it felt like she was controling the cock inside her, but I wanted to be the one in control. First I tired to control her hips but that wasn’t enough. I turned her over and began to fuck her as hard as I could willinng her to feel..meeeee… oh damn,” Julie had now increased the intensity of her strokes in response to the story. She was shoving in and out her wildly. She didn’t demand anymore story, she kissed her. Julie still tasted like the sex she had fed on when she had lovingly kissed her lower lips.

There breast were smashed together as Julie continued here intense ride inside. All Alex could do was exclaim her pleasure. She grabbed the back of the strap on’s harness pulling the strap between Julie’s legs and causing more firm stimulation of her clit. They were both moaning now and buking wildly. They came in succession and remained exahausted and entwined for a few minutes after.

Julie detached the strap on and laid with Alex. Her leg wrapped around one of Alex’s. After a few moments of silene,  they kissed and rubbed their bodies against each others. Their nipples met, tight and taunt they danced again just enjoying the contact. Thier legs entwined, occassionally making contact with each other’s pussy, stimulating the already growing wetness between them. Their pussies made contact during this intense make out and their clits bumped involuntarily on occassion. Julie (now on top) enjoyed this sensation and began to intentionally move against her lover’s clit. Their moans and sighs seem to come at the same time. They were each driven to the edge by it and orgasmed at the same time, and it wasn’t so much the intensity, but the joy of cumming together this way that satisfied the both of the. They were holding onto each other as thier pussy lips mixed the juices of this loving union.

After a moment, Julie stuck her fingers down there, dipping into there mixed juices.

“This is us,” she said.

There tounges darted around the saturated fingers at the same time.

“We taste beautiful,”Alex said.

“Yeah, we do,” Julie said after she too had tasted the delights of there union.

“I don’t regret us,” Alex said.

“You make it sound like we have to end,” Julie replied.

Alex said nothing else, just kissed her again. Followed by more lovemaking until they were both exhausted again.

Julie woke up alone in Alex’s bed around 6 in the morning, feeling alive and refreshed in a way she hadn’t in a long time. She looked for her young lover, but she was missing for real this time. There was a note laying beside her. It said:

Dear Jules,

    Maybe in another lifetime we could have really loved one another. Maybe, in another lifetime, we did. Maybe if I were older (and rich — just kidding) or maybe if you were a bit younger and free, we could have shared something special. Instead we just had a few stolen moments. I want more than that. I deserve more than that. I can’t stay and be a mistress or whatever, I have to go — for me. I’ll proably never again in my life have a night like last night, but I can’t stay just for that. I’ll miss you. I don’t know if I loved you, but I really really liked you. And

See You Next Lifetime,

Julie was sorry she was gone, but she couldn’t feel sad. There situation was impossible, but nothing would change their incredible night together. Julie almost felt eighteen herself reading that letter. She knew she should destroy it, as it was the only evidence she had cheated on her husband with her daughter’s girlfriend. But she didn’t want to. She’d fucked Alex before, but last night they’d made love. It was beautiful and she wanted something to hold onto.

She drove home with the letter in her pocket. Marissa was up, getting coffee in the kitchen when she came in. She was a bit startled to see her up so early.

“Hey mom,” Marissa said. “Where have you been?”

“Uhh… I needed some fresh air. Did I tell you how happy I am to have you home honey.”

“Especially now that I’m no longer under the influence of the evils of lesbianisim, right?”

“Marissa, you know you aren’t a lesbian, if you were it would be fine. But I know and you know that you’re not.”

“Maybe I’m bisexual. Would you say you are?”Marissa said baiting her. A sleepless night had made her a bit irritated with life and everything in it.

“What kind of question is that?” Julie snapped

“Your moment with a woman. Didn’t you try to ‘share’ that with me before?”

“I’m not in the mood for this Marissa,” Julie said walking away.

“Not in the mood for what, being honest? Isn’t that what you wanted, a closer relationship?”

“Yes that’s what I want,” Julie replied turning around. “But this obviously isn’t about that for you. You can’t blame me for what happened between you and Alex. If you wanted to be with her with every fiber of your being, you wouldn’t have let her go. You’re… free to be with whoever you want. You were right, I couldn’t have made you come home. You came home because you wanted to, because you know you didn’t love her as much as she loved you.”

“So you believe she loved me?”

“Yeah, I do,” her mother replied. “For the record, Marissa, I wasn’t lying when I said I liked Alex. I just knew you weren’t ready.”

She wanted to argue with her about that, but the truth was she couldn’t.

“One day you’re going to believe this, I love you Marissa. I don’t anything with the intention of hurting you.”

‘Did that include screwing my girlfriend?’ her mind questioned, but it was never verbalized.

“I’m never going to stop looking out for your best intrest.”

Then Julie left the kitchen.

‘For the record, she liked Alex.’ No duh!!, Marissa thought. Right now she’d love to talk to Alex, ask her how she could have done this. The confussion that had numbed her yesterday was gone, she’d do anything to relive that moment. But the moment was gone forever and Alex was gone. And she didn’t quite feel up to confronting her mother about this directly. It was too disturbing a thought to verbalize to her mother, but she felt like she could have asked Alex why if she could only talk to her. But the moment was gone, it was time to let it go and move on.


Leave a Reply

Welcome to Dawn is a writer, theatre artist, and film maker. She loves to create and be a part of the creative. This is my webspace playground, for blogging, displaying my work, and general all-around fan fun.
My Social Networks
My Online Portfolio