Mission to Naboo
[September 2000]
Fandom: Star Wars
Title: Mission to Naboo
PenName: Empress Vader
Character(s):
Paring(s): Anakin/Padme
Rating: PG
Summary: Anakin gets a chance to revisit the planet of the girl he can’t forget.
Notes:
Warning(s):
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created by George Lucas. No copyright infringement intended.
1. A Single Touch
Anakin awoke in a cold sweat. It was the same dream again, the same one he’d been having since puberty shot through him with a vengeance. He’d crawl through her window just as she sat down to remove her makeup, that horrid dead white make-up. But she froze her motions to look at him, shocked, as she should have been. For it’s impossible to crawl through a castle window. The widow in the Queen’s chamber is hundreds of meters of the ground. But none of that rationality is part of her shock. He’d grown, he was a man. And she was trying to figure out if it was him, but somehow her heart knew what her eyes weren’t sure of. Still no words were spoken, because none were needed. He reached up and wiped the make-up from her half of her face, not because he didn’t intend to finish, but because she stopped him with a single touch. And it only took that touch for them to embrace each other like familiar lovers. And in the blink of an eye, they were together, and just when things got really hot, he woke up.
He hated waking up like this. His sheets were soaked with sweat, his heart beating out of control, other things he wouldn’t even say out loud. He stripped the sheets from the bed. “R-46,” Anakin called. The droid wobbled out the corner. This altered old model Astromech droid had been modified by him for simple menial task. His engineering wasn’t half as involved as C-3PO, but he was a useful tool. When he was a boy, he had disrupted the temple to no end fixing gadgets with no purpose. There were droids changing light fixtures that were perfectly fine, reorganizing storage areas over and over again, and causing general chaos. Finally Obi-Wan limited him to a few projects at a time, one or two at any given moment. R46 became his project, heck if the temple wasn’t going to take advantage of all their good spare parts, he sure was. Watto would have loved some of those prime pieces he dug up.
“Foursix, take care of this,” Anakin said tossing the sheets into the droids extended arm. Then they left the room. The droid headed toward laundry, Anakin headed toward another area. He grabbed one of the few droids the temple found a use for, seeker droids. Set to stun, they were often used for lightsaber practice. Actually, the frustration this dream often caused made one seeker droid no challenge at all. So he grabbed four more.
In the practice room, he turned the seekers on and activated his lightsaber. Power surged through him when he held this weapon, it belonged there, and it knew him. Adrenaline, the dream always left him with excess adrenaline, and he filtered his unfulfilled frustration into every blow, he became rage. Two of the seeker droids shot at him simultaneously, he deflected the blow easily and hit one of the seekers with the deflected blow. Three fired, not one hit him. He predicted each shot and deflected it, then destroyed the remaining droids in dazzling sweeps of blue light. He and his weapon could not be touched, especially when his energy was peaked like this.
“Very good,” a female voice said.
Siri, she had grown up with Obi-Wan. And from the moment he’d arrived at the temple she’d been a good friend. Of course, it helped that she was gorgeous. Oh, she tried her best to play it down. She kept her hair short, never done up. Even though all the Jedi wore the same basic tunic, she made sure never to accentuate her femininity.
“Now how will you do against a live opponent?”
“Care to find out?” Anakin smiled.
They each activated their light sabers and went at it. Siri was good; she had always been ahead of her class. But with Anakin she was perfectly matched. Each had their own brand of competitiveness that the other feed off of. There had been many a midnight battle like this that went on an on, neither willing to yield to the other. Anakin loved the way she pushed him to be better. Obi-Wan was too philosophical about everything.
A distant beep caused Anakin to get distracted, and that quick Siri’s low power blade scorched him. Anakin jumped at the shock, then yelled at the distraction. The fool droid Foursix had brought the sheets to him, instead of back to his room.
“Foursix, you hunk of junk, take them to my room.”
Siri raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with your sheets?”
Anakin looked down embarrassed, and he still had energy to work off. “Can we go jog?”
“Sure,” Siri said.
There was a long walkway that circled the temple. They could run it easily by filtering the force, but Anakin didn’t want to. He wanted to feel every strain of his muscle. They took off, running side by side. Siri was his confidant. He could tell her things that he wouldn’t tell Obi-Wan, because he didn’t understand. Sometimes he wondered if Obi-Wan had ever been a real man, if he had ever been crazy or wild. He wondered if he had ever made a mistake. Still, even with Siri, talking about Queen Amidala, the girl he had known as Padme didn’t seem like a good idea. She was his heart’s treasure; a special part of the past that he kept locked away in the hope he could reclaim it in the near future. Yet there were parts of him that wanted Siri, wanted to hold too her. But she was too old for him, what was it with him and women to old for him. He wondered if he would ever see Amidala again anyway.
“I knew her as Padme,” he finally said after they’d run a Kilometer. “But she’s known to most people as Queen Amidala.”
“Obi-Wan told me about her. You still think about her?” She questioned. “It’s been seven years.”
“I loved her, from the moment I meant her I loved her,” he stopped running, and she stopped to. “I can remember every detail of her face, her smile. They way she said Ani, with it’s own particular music to it. She’s amazing, I wish you could meet her. I she’s so poised and refined, and smart, it seems like she’s been raised among royalty. And she can be so gentle, it’s shocking to see her flip into this warrior and this diplomat and retain that sweetness somewhere in her deeper self.” The teenager stopped and sat down. “Which is why it disturbs me now that in my dreams all I can think about is her and well, me, doing, having—” Siri sat beside him.
“It happens, you grow up, you like girls, you think about it. Girls think about it to.”
“But what about that whole Jedi wisdom thing? ‘For the Jedi there is no emotion, there is peace.’ Yoda drills it in your head. But passion is an emotion and it rages through you, it can’t be controlled or rationalized. What do I do?”
“Do what we do, run it off.” Siri sighed. “You know, I use to have a crush on Obi-Wan.”
Anakin turned to her in shock.
“You know your master though; he’s Jedi to the bone. I mean, when he was a kid, he had his days. He wasn’t always perfect. He even left the Jedi once.”
“What!!! He left and came back.”
“Seems somebody on Melida/Daan got to him. I know there was a girl and she died. I don’t know what there relationship was. He never really got why I was so hard on him after he came back. Anyway, I got over him, just like you’ll get over her. It just happens.”
“I don’t think it’s going to happen with me,” the sixteen-year-old replied.
Siri placed a hand on Anakin’s neck. A comforting hand only, But all that built up tension caused him to do something crazy, that single touch made him turn and tackle her lips in a kiss. Was he crazy? She was nearly thirty. But he couldn’t stop himself.
And for a minute, Siri was shocked and sat there frozen until the boy pulled away. They then looked at each other awkwardly.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“Don’t be,” she replied and grabbed him for another kiss. He couldn’t help responding. He was kissing Siri. This mature, beautiful, voluptuous, Jedi woman. The woman who had taught him how to handle a lightsaber. And she wanted to kiss him.
For the longest time they embraced, but then the face of Queen Amidala with her half removed makeup, half revealed face flashed in his mind and he stopped himself.
“What?” Siri asked.
“Is this right?” Anakin asked.
“I don’t know, but it sure feels good.”
It didn’t sound like the usual response of a Jedi knight. They were renowned for their wisdom, but that wisdom came at a distance from the situation. When things got this personal and intimate, forgetting that Jedi wisdom was easy. Everything else he had done, even when he caused trouble, felt right in his head somewhere. At first, this had also. But now that the adrenaline rush was gone, the world seemed a little upside down. He shouldn’t have kissed her at all.
“A Jedi must have the most serious mind,” Yoda’s voice jumped into his head.
“I should get back to my room, Foursix might shred the sheets or something,” Anakin said getting up and running off. He speed into the temple so fast he ran into Obi-Wan, hitting him square in the chest and falling backward. He scrambled to his feet.
“Sorry Master,” the boy said softly.
“What’s the rush Padawan?”
“My droid, he still has some kinks to work out.”
“R46, he’s got a lot of quirks all right. Seems to cause more harm than help for you. Sometimes I think you invite chaos Padawan, that you enjoy it. Your great with mechanicals, built a working protocol droid. Yet, you can’t get this simple unit to work right.”
Obi-Wan looked past him to the door. Siri entered. She looked at the master and Padawan and then turned away down another hallway. Obi-Wan looked at the boys singed tunic.
“Another late night training session?” Obi-Wan asked.
“You could call it that,” Anakin replied. “I was having trouble sleeping; she helped me work off the tension. May I go?”
Obi-Wan nodded.
*****
“Anakin,” the two-year-old yelled as she ran to him. Teca was his baby. He’d brought the sick baby to the temple and when they insisted she be sent to an orphanage, he’d insisted she was force sensitive and must stay. They hadn’t felt it at first, but when the baby made her full recovery, she’d been confirmed as force sensitive. From the moment he found her, he’d taken care of her. He’d feed her, sing her bedtime stories, and play with her for at least an hour everyday. Unless he was off on a mission with Obi-Wan, he showed up when she woke up and put her to bed at night. Sometimes she spent the whole days at his side. He never told anyone how much she looked like Padme.
“And how is my Teca,” he said lifting the little one in the air.
“She wanna fly,” Teca replied.
“Well, fly my Teca, fly,” Anakin said spinning her around in the sky.
“Can she come with me for a little while?” Anakin asked Morik. He was the new caretaker for this age group.
“Sure,” Morik replied.
“We go,” the baby asked.
“We go,” Anakin said lifting the baby onto his back. “We’re going to play with Obi-Wan today.”
“Oba-one. I like Oba-one,” Teca replied.
Obi-Wan arranged the huge weighted objects across the floor, using the force. Anakin would be here soon and he didn’t know what to say to him. I saw you, you’re caught. Siri was going to be even harder to confront. ‘He’s just a kid Siri,’ Obi-Wan thought. He couldn’t go to Yoda with this, or Mace Windu, or even Adi Gallia. And she’d trained Siri. He didn’t want to ruin a reputation that didn’t have to be ruined, but you can’t fool Jedi for long. At his age, Anakin was a tangle of emotions anyway and his background made this years all the more complicated. The last thing he needed was some older woman confusing him more.
“Good morning Master,” Anakin said cheerfully as he entered the room, interrupting his master’s thoughts. He slipped baby Teca off his back.
He loved the boy, he couldn’t help it. Despite the serious face he had to put on for the council, he’d found some of Anakin’s hijinks amusing. He came to love him like a son, he had worked hard to earn the respect and trust the boy had given Qui-Gon and the boy had returned the favor and done his best to be a good Jedi. Sometimes he got frustrated and felt the need to break free. But he’d apologize, come back and repent. What more could you ask of him?
“I see we have company today.”
“Is that okay master?”
“Yes, it’s quite all right,” Obi-Wan replied. “Now one of these objects in front of you . . .”
She’d come seeking him, unable to help herself. Only she got lost in one of the many corridors and had to ask a child for the location of the room. He’d reached into his mind and pointed her in the general direction. And she’d found him. Cloaked in her plain gray hooded tunic, it was easy to be ignored. They knew she wasn’t a Jedi and the temple rarely had visitors, but there was no malicious intent in her presence.
She looked into the room and there sat a young man, the youth couldn’t have been Anakin, but it was. He was levitating 5 large objects around his head. There was a baby sucking a bottle beside him and Obi-Wan, who instead of looking youthful was beginning to look older, distinguished, was instructing him. The wisdom she’d always seen in Qui-Gon was now settling into Obi-Wan. She wondered if Anakin would be the same way when he was older. She wouldn’t disturb him, besides it was just amazing to watch her little man doing this. “Little man”, that phrase suddenly felt wrong. He was taller than she was.
Suddenly Anakin turned as if he had been hit, hit by her presence probably. She’d forgotten how keen Jedi senses were. All the objects started dropped toward the ground, but never hit the floor. He grasped control an instant before it would have crashed.
“Very good Padawan, you averted a disaster, but in the future don’t allow yourself to get distracted. Never turn off your sense of the world around you, but don’t let it make you lose your focus.”
What he felt, couldn’t be real, Anakin thought. “Lower the objects gently and take a break.” Obi-Wan sighed as he did this. “I felt her too.”
Anakin smiled and turned toward the door. As she walked in, wearing a nondescript gray hooded tunic, his heart beat speed up. He always thought he would come to her, that he could plan for this moment in time where she’d see him all grown up. She dropped the hood and those big brown eyes looked up at him. And she smiled. He felt nine all over again, his throat turned to Jelly and he couldn’t speak.
“I was in Coruscant, I couldn’t resist dropping by,” the queen of Naboo said, her eyes roaming his body. She exhaled, she knew he’d grown but she wasn’t prepared for this sudden rush. He was all male. What happened to the little boy? Who, in seven short years, had replaced him with this young man?
“I hope you don’t mind Obi-Wan,” Amidala asked.
“Mind, of course not,” Obi-Wan replied. It might have been the truth a day ago, but now that Siri had done what she’d done he didn’t know if this would alleviate or complicate the problem with Siri. Maybe when Padme left, Anakin would feel it wrong to go back to Siri.
The way he was looking at her there was no doubt in his mind Anakin was still in love with her. And this time, she felt it too. Anakin still hadn’t said a word to her. After dreaming about her on and off for years, no one could have predicted she would just show up one day in the temple. And Anakin saw she had become very shapely in the last couple years. When he’d known her way back when, she’d been on the verge of womanhood, now she was a woman.
“Who you?” Teca finally asked.
“Padme, at least for now,” Queen Amidala replied, her eyes still glued to the tall Jedi in front of her.
“I Teca, I two,”
“Can I —,” Anakin begin. “You’re beautiful.” He finally said sounding like a child and embarrassed about his lack of words.
His voice, she was struck by it, he wasn’t a boy anymore, not by a long shot. And the only response she could muster was a smile. He’s only sixteen, she reminded herself, and I’m twenty-one. But the numbers seemed so insignificant all of a sudden. Sixteen seemed a lifetime away from nine.
“Will you show me around?” the Queen asked.
“Yes,” he mumbled and took her hand. But as soon as his hand grazed hers he was struck completely still. A single touch and he turned to look at her and she at him. Without thinking, they shut out Obi-Wan, Teca, the whole temple and drew close.
“Ani,” the baby cried, breaking the trance.
“Come on Teca, lets show our queen around,” he said letting go of Amidala’s hand and reaching for the baby’s hand. Amidala took the other hand and they left the study room.
Obi-Wan had to exhale himself once they were gone. Well it looked as if Anakin would be distracted for the rest of the day? Siri entered the room a second after they left.
“Hi Obi-Wan,” she said with her eyes downcast. Very unusual for Siri, but he knew the source of her shame so there was no need to question it. “Finish with Anakin already.”
“Well, it seems he had a visitor so I let him go.”
“What kind of visitor?” she asked with an unfamiliar glare.
“The royal kind,” he noticed his tone had developed it’s own uneven rhythm. He quickly calmed himself.
It couldn’t be “her” could it, Siri asked herself. No, she was light years away from them and years in Anakin’s past. And that’s all she was, past. With a quiet good-bye, she slipped out the room and went searching for Anakin.
“This is Bant,” Anakin told her as the stood by the fountain with the older Jedi. “She grew up with Obi-Wan too.”
“Hello,” Bant, the Calamarian, said. “I’ve heard of your world. It’s beautiful; I’d love to see it sometime.”
“You’re welcome to anytime. We have much to thank the Jedi for.”
Anywhere else people might have assumed they were a young couple with a family. Earning the little girls trust, Padme asked to hold her. Padme now carried Teca on her hip as she sucked on a pacifier. Anakin stood beside her, a protective arm around the older girl’s shoulder. He’d done so self-consciously, but proudly, as he introduced her to one of his favorite Jedi. However, he was afraid of running into Siri. What would she think of them? Certainly not cute couple.
Bant said good-bye, leaving them by the gorgeous fountain alone. A tired Teca began to doze off.
“I’ll take her,” Anakin said. “She’s real heavy when she falls asleep.”
“Is little Ani implying he’s stronger than I am?” Amidala said playfully. She was flirting, involuntarily. This was not why she came, but she couldn’t help it. Bringing up business now didn’t feel necessary.
“Well, I’m not so little. In fact I’m bigger than you are,” he said slipping the baby into his arms. “So, how are things on Naboo?”
“Well we’ve been busy trying to improve Naboo-Gungan relations. We want the Gungans involved in business, farming, and even our children are schooling, side by side. Did I tell you Jar-Jar’s the head of the inter species relationships committee?”
“Figurehead?”
“No, he brought the first Gungan children to the capital city in Theed and started a committee to revise the teaching materials. It was a big deal, but the younger kids were easier going about it then the older kids and the grown ups are just plain stubborn. The Naboo insist that their teaching methods have worked for years and our sciences are far more advanced.”
“Oh no,” Anakin said.
“Yeah, it could have been a mess, but nobody wants another war. The compromise was two classes with Gungan teachers on their culture and science. Language arts were an issue, the Gungans speak a broken Basic that they consider proper and to us it is gibberish. But the school issues have settled. However, none of our other plans to combine the two cultures have worked. When it comes to the adult world, each side thinks their way is right and their not willing to compromise which in the end—”
“Could bring you right back to the segregation you had before.”
“Right and that’s something I don’t want. I see a chance to do something really great here.”
“Do you need Jedi intervention?” he asked hoping for a chance to get away.
“Not on this matter, but—”
“Anakin,” a voice called approaching from the distance. Siri, what would he do? He didn’t want to introduce her to Amidala; he liked keeping their realms separate.
He smiled and turned towards her. She was close, but he hadn’t heard her approach.
“I heard you had company,” the Jedi woman said. “Hi, I’m Siri,” she introduced herself, not waiting for an introduction.
“I’m Padme, a friend of his.”
“A royal friend, I know the story.”
“Ani?” Padme questioned turning to him with a smile.
“Obi-Wan told her, not me,” Anakin defended playfully.
“So, why are you here?” Siri said interrupting the private game that had begun between them.
It became clear to both of them then, that the girl was jealous. Siri was already taller the Padme, there was no question she had more physical strength. But the queen, suddenly clear about the older woman’s inclinations toward Anakin, faced the Jedi woman with a glare as clear in it’s meaning as Siri’s.
“I’m here to ask for Jedi help, namely the help of my old friend here and his master.”
“You could have requested that from your home planet.”
“Well,” Padme said smiling at Anakin. “I do have personal reasons for doing it myself.” She placed a protective arm around Anakin. “He promised to marry me you know.”
“Well, boys do say the silliest things sometimes.”
Each regarded each other with false smiles and Siri left in a barely hidden huff.
“Are you involved with that woman?” Padme suddenly asked protectively.
He was nine again, a guilty nine year old. After some soul searching he told her what had happened between himself and Siri.
********
“Surrounds your Padawan, chaos does,” Yoda said to the young Jedi.
“I know Master Yoda; I’m trying to center him.”
“Seven years trying you have been,” he exhaled. “Good it is you will soon be off on a mission.”
“Mission master?”
“Your guest, the young queen. For you, a mission she will request.”
“Well if she needs us.”
“She doesn’t. About the boy this is. The boy and Siri. Good it is to get this dispute out the temple. Unsettling for others it is.”
So Yoda knew, of course he knew. You couldn’t hide anything from a Jedi, for long.
********
Anakin gently laid the baby on his bed and covered her with a blanket. Foursix came beeping into the room. Anakin and Padme smiled in remembrance of Tatooine when he’d introduced her to 3P0. But Mace Windu was with it and wearing a none to happy expression.
“This thing was fooling with the oven in the kitchen and nearly blew us all up.”
“Sorry,” Anakin said. “Kinks.”
Mace Windu grimaced and left the bedroom.
“Your droids always have personality,” Padme said examining the newly entered droid, who beeped happily.
“So, you were telling me about your problem,” Anakin entered.
“Well just like everywhere else, Naboo has it’s problem areas. Ours is Talok town. It’s on an island on the far side of the planet. They’ve started this illegal game ring, fisting.”
“Fisting?”
“They claim it’s entertainment, but people are getting hurt. It’s a bloodbath. The operations completely underground. Naboo is peaceful again. The last thing we need is people eliciting violence.” Padme yawned.
“Lay down, there’s room,” Anakin said. “We’ll talk to Obi-Wan after you’ve had some rest.”
“Thank you,” Amidala said as she lay down beside the baby. Anakin sat in a chair, tossed a ball in the air and held it there, using the force. Then he closed his eyes imagining the ball spinning in his head and the ball spun in the air. He visualized home, his mother, him walking up to her and saying those wonderful words, “You’re free.” Then he’d take her to Naboo where he’d marry the Queen and they’d live happily ever after. Yeah right, nice dream, he thought as he let the ball drop from the air into his hands.
But she’s her, in his bedroom, now deep asleep in his bed. he knelt beside his bed and look down at her angelic face. “Are you an Angel?” he heard his young voice say. He reached out for her, pulled back an inch, and then went forward again. He touched the side of her face and gently ran a light finger down her cheek. “I love you,” he whispered. He began moving in closer and lightly touched her lips with his own. The napping baby stirred just as he felt her lips return his kiss.
“This moment may never come again,” he whispered to himself. He lay down beside her, the baby taking up a small space in-between them. He felt her breath on his ear, the baby securely cuddled between them. Her soft breath on his neck. He feel asleep and felt no need to dream of her, she was here. But a thought or two did dwell on his mother.
When he woke up, she was looking down at him, so close he could feel involuntary physical stirrings throughout himself. She had to feel them too, but she didn’t move. He was confused by her boldness; she was confused by it herself. But Siri’s interest in him had turned her own feelings into hyper drive.
Teca? It occurred to him she was gone. Then he heard a giggle and one of his old models flying. She was content.
“You know you don’t have to wait till I’m asleep to kiss me,” Padme said.
“Sorry,” the nervous boy said. His heart was ready to beat right out of his chest.
Suddenly the door slid open and the two jumped up off the bed.
“You do realize there’s a little one in the room?” Obi-Wan said eyeing the young people on the bed.
“We all fell asleep,” Anakin defended. “There was nothing going on.”
Obi-Wan turned toward the Queen. “What is the state of your planet?”
“Quite stable, I assure you I would not leave my people in unsecured hands. Sabe is posing for me, they don’t even know I’m gone.”
“Why did you come instead of a messenger, or just a message?”
Padme was growing red under his accusation of irresponsibility. ‘Why didn’t he just leave her alone?’ Anakin wondered. If she was here, it was for a good reason, she needed their help.
“A violent illegal game has begun in Naboo’s underground. As hard as it is to imagine us having one.”
“It’s not hard at all, no amount of light can eliminate the shadows. In fact, shadows exist because of the light. We will leave for Naboo in the morning.”
They smiled to themselves as Obi-Wan left. Meanwhile Anakin picked up Teca and prepared to take her back to her caretaker.
The baby looked sad. “Ani go way?”
“Just for a little while, I’ll be back.”
“Teca miss,” the baby said.
“Can’t she come with us?” Padme asked.
“No, I don’t think they’ll allow it. They never have before. These are very delicate years, it’s very important they they’re within the love and security of the temple until they’re mature enough to do otherwise. But I’ll ask. Let’s get Teca back to Morik.”
“Morik,” Padme questioned as she followed him out of his room. He explained on the way.
Hours later, Padme sat in a practice room watching Anakin battle a seeker droid, blindfolded. She couldn’t believe it was him. She had adjusted to his new look, his height, and even his voice. But she still couldn’t believe he was a Jedi. He handled that brilliant blue lightsaber like he was born with it molded to his body. It wasn’t his weapon, it was an instrument he was one with and watching him move with it was like watching music and magic fussed together. Down went the seeker droid and Padme clapped.
“Want to try it,” Anakin smiled.
“Is that allowed?” Amidala wondered. He was asking her to weld a Jedi weapon.
“Come here,” he motioned.
She stepped toward him and his arms fell around her. As he placed the deactivated light saber in her hands, he covered her hands with his own. And with this touch they became one. She felt him flow through her. In the huge, gym-like, training room sound filtered easily and the sound of his breath against her ear was powerful. She yielded her body to his control.
“Close your eyes,” he said softly. The sound was compellingly seductive. “Now move with me, not against me, not after me, with me.”
He took a moment and closed his eyes. He didn’t move until their heartbeats became one. Nestled together, their minds touched. They activated the lightsaber and began to move together. Touching this mysterious force through him was the most amazing thing she had ever felt. She was only slightly aware of her body’s movements alongside his. They were entranced into a dance of souls. Moving together, like they were sealed into one body. It was like a heightened spiritual way of making love.
“I love you,” she whispered involuntarily.
It shocked Anakin so much, he stopped. She turned toward him and with a single soft touch to her lips, they kissed. He kissed her with all the passion and love and desire born of their erotic dance. And she met it fiercely. Neither one of them felt like themselves, neither was this naturally bold. But somehow it felt like a truer, more honest self, had been born of their touching minds. And they had no more control over their emotions, over what their bodies wanted. His lips moved from her lips to her neck as he cupped her chin. She turned to jelly as she felt his soft lips running over her skin, sending shivers through her body. She never wanted him to stop, but he did. A distant presence touched his mind, breaking the trance. He turned and saw an angry Siri standing behind him. Amidala’s eyes fell on her and readjusted her tunic around her neck, covering as much exposed skin as possible. Shame, Anakin felt the shame emanating from her. She was a queen, to be caught like this was scandalous. And it was Siri’s fault she felt this way.
He didn’t bother to consider Siri’s feelings. He didn’t bother to consider how hurt she felt.
Foremost on his mind was the honor of his queen. But Siri was the first to draw her lightsaber; this was how they dealt with their problems. They fought it out, usually neutrally, just as a release. But now they were angry with each other, the problem was with each other, now it was dangerous. Just a second ago this room had been filled with beauty, now it was filled with pain, hurt, jealousy. And it created two angry beasts. And Anakin drew his lightsaber.
Padme moved out of the way and they swung at each other.
A cold wind blew through the room where Yoda, Mace Windu, and Obi-Wan sat meditating.
“It is to late,” Yoda said turning to his companions. They’d felt it too.
“We still have a chance to stop it before it goes to far.” Obi-Wan said running out the door, the two elder masters followed.
By the time they got to the room, a bunch of young students, ranging from about seven to fourteen, were watching the battle enthralled, cheering this one or that on like it was some spectator sport. Padme looked as if she was trying to disappear into a corner. They combatants were consumed by their anger. The lightsabers weren’t even set to low the way they did for practice. They were prepared to kill each other. And the students were cheering them on. Obi-Wan now saw why the Jedi were so afraid of the consequences of fear in someone Anakin’s age. Close to both of them, he tried to reach out to their minds, but both minds were closed to him.
“They could not hear you if you shouted,” Mace replied.
“But Master, I have to stop this.”
“You cannot, they must,” Mace pointed out.
“Anakin, please stop,” Padme whispered. And he stopped just stopped. And just as Siri was prepared to deal a killing blow, she stopped, deactivated her lightsaber and ran from the room.
Anakin then saw his master, ashamed in a corner of the room. The students were stunned to silence now. Anakin turned toward them.
“I was wrong!” he yelled to them. “Wrong, its like master Yoda says, ‘A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. I was wrong!” he yelled. “Say it.”
“You were wrong!” they yelled back.
“Again,” he yelled. And they repeated the statement and after many times he turned to Padme and said, “I was wrong, forgive me.”
He walked up to her and fell on one knee. “Forgive me, I was wrong.”
Padme nodded and helped him to his feet and they left the training room together.
Obi-Wan found Siri in her quarters, staring at the floor in shame.
“What in the galaxy is wrong with you? He’s a boy, your a mature Jedi knight, you were one of his mentors. I thought I could depend on you—”
“Shut up Obi-Wan. I know I was wrong, okay. But it felt good to be desired. Anakin looked at me and saw the woman I always wanted you to see. But it’s a dark, purely physical emotion, an emotion Yoda couldn’t make logical with all his damn Jedi wisdom. And for years I felt it for you. But you ignored me, just figured I was tough. Then Anakin comes along, your Padawan, with a fire like mine. When I saw Anakin and his deeper connection with that delicate little queen of his I hated him. Not for what he did, because I wanted that feeling he has with her, with you. As long as she was just an idea, a distant idea, I could posses the physical side. Earn again what I had lost with you.”
Obi-Wan was stunned to silence. He’d hardly ever thought about childhood, but images came flashing through his mind now like pieces of a puzzle. “I’m so sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”
“You can’t apologize for feelings you never had. It’s my problem. And you don’t have to worry about my corrupting your Padawan. I’m leaving. I’m going to some distant, quiet planet where I can be alone for awhile. I’ll return when I can trust my emotions again. I now must go before the Jedi Council, and apologize.”
Anakin sat on his bed, held by his queen, his queen, his Angel, his light. She felt for him, but did she really know how sorry he was.
“Anakin, I shouldn’t have come,” Padme finally said
“No, no, don’t say that.”
“I caused this.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I should be home, what if something happens.”
“We’re going tomorrow, together.”
“Anakin, I didn’t come here expecting to fall in love with you. I mean, I loved you just not like this. And it scares me that you got so close, possessed me so fully.”
“For years, I’ve had this dream where I crawl through your window and wipe off half your face makeup, just half, always half. I never knew why. Now I do, I could never have all of you. There will always be a part of you I can’t have.”
“It’s a hard life we choose. Unlike some people, our jobs ask for all of us. So we feel like we’re cheating them when we give some of it away to someone else.”
He relaxed there in Amidala’s arms. Somehow her speech gave way to the Queen again. She was worried, but both their souls were tired and his decided to give his body a rest. Hers did the same.
They slept in each others arms that night and they were due to leave the next morning. But before they did, Anakin said good-bye to Teca. Anakin and Padme were happy to leave the temple and their issues their for a little while. Teca wasn’t happy about it. “Just for a little while,” he told the baby. Queen Amidala knew she was saying good-bye to the little girl for good. She noted how good a father he would be, and one day that would be possible.
Siri was gone by the day of there departure. Anakin felt horrible about the whole situation, he had kissed her. Even though Obi-Wan had said it was Siri’s decision to live in isolation for awhile, he knew he was more than a piece of the problem. Only one person made that guilt a little easier to bear was his queen. And as they took off for Naboo, they held on to each other for support.
to be continued. . . .. .
— Sept.2000–
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