Acting On It
[July 1999]
Fandom: X-files
Title: Acting On It
PenName:Reality
Character(s):
Paring(s): Mulder/Scully
Rating: G
Summary: Mulder fantasizes about his kind of kiss with Scully.
Notes: Spoilers for Triangle & Rain King
Warning(s):
Disclaimer: The characters Mulder and Scully are Chris Carter’s brain child, and all rights belong to him, Fox, 1013 etc.
Even the X-files got boring sometimes, Mulder thought as he filed away a report on their last case. Scully’s forensic expertise was needed on another case, so the office felt quite empty. It was always weird to work without her. Even when things were really boring, some friendly joke between them lightened the mood.
She’d thought he was high when he came back from the Devil’s Triangle and told her he loved her. And he’d let it go. He’d told her she was there, but he hadn’t told her he kissed her. It had been sweet. And he felt guilty about that, he felt as if he had cheated on her with her. But that was really stupid, because she wasn’t his. She was just his partner. Actually she was more than a partner; she was his best friend. Here he was, focusing on her like some schoolboy, there were more important things to do.
Nobody in the FBI had been through more twist and turns than he and Scully; she was the only good trouble the bureau had ever given him. It was funny how he’d come to depend on her. After they gave her to him, there was nothing they could really do to take her away. Even when they separated them, they found ways to work together. Maybe he should tell her about the kiss, how sweet it was, how warm. Would it take another near death experience for him to have the nerve to say the words again or kiss her sweet lips…
“Hey Mulder,” Scully said.
“Scully,” Mulder said as his brain returned to reality.
“Dreaming about UFOs again.”
He laughed. “How was the autopsy?”
“It was an autopsy Mulder and not an x-file. No mutant worms were popping out, no killer bugs, no–”
“Bug eyed, parking meter shaped aliens,” Mulder finished.
They glanced at each other in shared amusement. Moment over, they went to work on their separate uncompleted paper work. Mulder glanced over at Scully; he had to tell her about the kiss. Then again, maybe she hadn’t taken him seriously for a reason.
“Scully”
“Yeah,” she said looking up from her work.
“Remember the Queen Anne, how I told you I was their and all.”
“Yes, Mulder, your wizard of OZ experience. You gave me a vivid explanation.”
“Well, not completely, you see I kissed you.”
“What?” she laughed. “Mulder your delusional.”
“Scully, I’m not in the hospital and I’m not doped up on drugs. I kissed you, well the other you that really wasn’t you.”
“Mulder, this is not the time for–” Scully sighed. She got up from the chair in front of Mulder’s desk. “This can wait until morning.”
She disappeared through the door.
Was he serious? Scully thought as she slammed the car door. She had watch Mulder do stupid things out of boredom before, but to bring the Bermuda Triangle back up. And how did he think she would feel about him kissing another woman who happened to look like her, a woman that wasn’t even real, and a woman in his dreams. It was no surprise after depending solely on each other for virtually six years that they would fantasize about each other. But they had to remain professional. A whim like this could virtually destroy their working relationship.
“I love you.” She still remembered him saying it. But he had said a million things over the years. “You never draw my bath”, “I think it’s remotely possible that somebody could find you hot,” it never meant anything. It was just how Mulder was. But he hadn’t been joking ten minutes ago; he hadn’t even been in a joking mood.
He had been intent on walking away, of letting it go, again. But somehow he wound up banging at her door. He had been to this door a thousand times, but never with such a goal. He had said the words that had plagued at him a long time, named the feeling he felt. At the risk of everything, including the perfect partner in his work, he was bored with the playful flirting. It was time to take the advice he gave Holman, voice his emotions.
Scully opened the door.
“What is it Mulder?”
“I have something to say,” Mulder said slipping through the door before she could protest. “The day you walked in my office, I had no idea what the FBI had given me.”
“Mulder, I wasn’t a gift.”
“Scully, Dana, will you just let me talk for once.”
“Okay talk,” Scully said. “I’m listening.”
“When you walked into my office, I had no idea that I was getting a partner in life. Scully, it’s never been just about the work for us or at least for me. When I was on that boat, when I kissed the other you, I thought they’re was little chance of me existing, of any of our history ever happening. And the thing I regretted most was that I never kissed you. So I took what might have been my last chance.”
“Mulder, it was a dream. And we often work in very close proximity. It’s only natural that–”
“That what? Biological functions would take over and I’d be attracted to you. Scully, this isn’t about my sex drive. It’s about the fact that I said I loved you and you took it as a joke.”
“What did you expect me to say? You were in the hospital after doing something rash and stupid, again.” Scully sighed. “And now you want me to believe you kissed another woman because you love me?”
“I kissed her because I wanted to kiss you. You know what, forget it Scully, let’s just continue this limbo for the rest of our lives.”
Scully watched him walk out the door. Sure she had been attracted to him a couple times, but like she said before they had to stay professional. The sheer scope of their work had given them a different relationship than most agents. And they had always managed to keep things in check, kind of, sort of. Yeah, she liked him, but what exactly were they going to do. Move to Virginia, live in the suburbs, have a couple babies and forget about chasing x-files. Yeah right. Mulder was a fanatic, he didn’t do normal. CRASH!
The loud noise rumbled through Scully’s apartment. She ran down stairs only to find what she feared most. Mulder lying sprawled out in the middle of the street, the car that hit him long gone.
Scully sat beside the hospital bed looking down at Mulder, willing him to regain consciousness. Considering all he’d survived, considering all he saved her from, it was hard to believe a regular old drunk driver might do him in. She couldn’t think thoughts like that. He couldn’t die, she needed him. He was an original, one of a kind, irreplaceable. How could she live without his subtle wit? It was her warm spot. The calm after the storm.
“Mulder, I want you to listen to me. I need you. Before you, my life didn’t have meaning and now it– You opened my eyes to a side of life I’d never thought I’d see. And maybe it’s just me to doubt you, even when you say you love me, but I do cherish us. I’ve looked over at you a thousand times and seen and felt so–so complete. You complete me, I love you.” Even as the words slipped from her lips, she couldn’t believe them. She had spent so much time pushing intimate moments to the back of her mind, admitting them didn’t seem like an option. But what they meant, what they would mean to their relationship, wasn’t as important as hearing his voice again.
“Scul–Scu- Scully,” his cracked voice sounded almost sleepy like.
“Mulder, Mulder your awake?”
Mulder tried to talk again, Scully attempted to quiet him.
“What?—What happened this time?” Mulder finally got out.
“Drunk driver nearly killed you”
“You sure it wasn’t a government plot to destroy the x-files perpetrated by a secret society with in the government?” Mulder gave her a weak smile. She couldn’t wait for another episode like this to recognize her feelings and tuck them away again.
“I love you,” Scully said to him.
“I heard you,” Mulder replied.
She leaned over and kissed him….
“Mulder,” a voice said waking him from his daydreaming. Scully had on her coat and was getting ready to leave. “Time to go.”
“Scully,” Mulder called.
“Yes,” she said turning around. He wouldn’t wait for the next near death experience to do what he wanted, now was the time. He walked over to her, grabbed her to him, and kissed her. Scully had no time to react and when she did, all she could do was melt into him.
It was he who broke contact. Scully stood before him, speechless for the first time since he’d known her.
“Goodnight Scully,” Mulder said grabbing his coat and leaving.
(7/6/1999)